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25 November 2012 Maggie Grace vs Kesha

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 1 month ago

Maggie Grace.jpg Kesha 02.jpg

MIRAGE AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wix on November 25, 2012, 12:36 am

BEFORE:

"You know, I was talking to Lake Bell about this the other day," says Maggie, smiling beautifully. "Why is it that two girls as athletic and hot as we are can't get fights around here? And, Lake came to the same conclusion I did. These managed girls don't want to stand next to US in bikinis or have to deal with us in the ring. So, they choose opponents who aren't so threatening physically or psychologically. Well, tonight, I've finally gotten an opportunity, and I'm going to make the best of it."

"You know, Maggie's right about one thing, she's reeaally pretty," says a smiling Ke$ha. "So, what Six Feet Of Sexy is going to do is make sure she lands on her BACK when I knock her out, so all the fans can see her pretty face when she's lying on the mat."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Lovefool' by The Cardigans, one of the favorite songs of the lovely Maggie Grace, who's coming to ringside right now. Maggie into the ring, helped off with the robe, and the audience appreciating that baby blue and yellow striped bikini..."

Tess: "I can see why. To paraphrase Wiz, Grace is 'smokin'. Why, she could even be in PLAYBOY, Mac!"

McCarthy: "Don't start with me, Walmart..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'Tik Tok' booming over the sound system and that can mean only one thing..."

McCarthy: "That the DJ has chosen poorly?"

Tess: "This song has sold over 14 million copies. It's the second biggest selling digital single of all time, and the biggest seller by a female artist..."

McCarthy: "Well, Slim Whitman's sold 120 million albums and I don't hear the crowd chanting for 'Indian Love Call'..."

O'Dell: "If you two don't mind holding some of the music research you've clearly been doing since the last card in reserve, 'Tik Tok' booming over the sound system can ONLY mean that the song's singer, Ke$ha, is on her way to the ring. Big K climbs inside, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal the navy blue number she's switched to of late..."

McCarthy: "Maggie's right about one thing. She's won the disrobe by TKO..."

Tess: "Judging from the crowd, some of them don't agree with you..."

McCarthy: "What do THEY know? Bunch of Eagles fans!"

O'Dell: "Looks like we're about ready to go. Tess already on record as favoring
Ke$ha. Can we get a pick, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Grace hasn't gotten much action in the FCBA, but I think she's got some talent. And she's smoother and more disciplined than Ke$ha, who's got a lot of physical tools, but gets sloppy too often. I'm going with the mild upset and picking Maggie."

O'Dell: "Let's find out. Here we go! Grace the classic boxer/puncher, looking to work behind that left hand. Big K using that jackhammer right..."

McCarthy: "Don't say..."

Tess: "The Front Street Jab..."

McCarthy: "It's a JAB! ALL fighters have one! Even PREJEAN has one! No HEART, but she has a JAB!"

O'Dell: "Ke$ha working forward. Maggie trying to give battle, but being forced to give ground."

Tess: "Ke$ha's got as much power as just about any light in the FCBA. I have no doubt she's going to fight some welter eventually."

O'Dell: "She's certainly got the size and strength, and she's using it to good effect here, overwhelming Maggie's positions, forcing her backward, scoring with both hands."

Tess: "Grace mindful of that left hand. And she should be."

O'Dell: "Maggie continuing to retreat. Fighting in spots. But it's Ke$ha having the better of things to the bell."

McCarthy: "Definitely Ke$ha's round."

Tess: "And Big K off to the 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Into the second now, and Ke$ha back to that right hand. Backing Grace up with it."

Tess: "That thing lands like a ton of bricks. Can stop you right in your tracks."

McCarthy: "And the danger of getting stopped like that is..."

Tess: "LEFT HAND, KE$HA!"

O'Dell: "AND DOWN GOES MAGGIE!"

McCarthy: "THAT! You become a stationary target. Maybe for just a second, but that can be long enough, as you just saw!"

O'Dell: "Grace knocked flat to her back, but rolling over to all fours at six. Pushing up to her feet. Going to beat the count. Referee gives her the mandatory, and will let this continue."

Tess: "Ke$ha back to the right hand. Looking to set up a finisher. This isn't the wild brawler we've seen in some of her past fights."

O'Dell: "Much more disciplined and methodical. Banging body with the left hook, using the right jab to score to the head. Looking for the big punch that will finish it, but not forcing it."

McCarthy: "This is a good, professional clean up. Didn't think the kid had it in her."

O'Dell: "Looks like she does. Ke$ha staying on Maggie, who's mainly covering up, trying to survive this one, and she's done it. There's the bell ending the second, and a big round for Big K!"

Tess: "20-17 through two. Good start for Ke$ha."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round underway and Ke$ha stalking behind that right hand, definitely looking for an early night, Mac."

McCarthy: "Getting a little sloppy now. Grace more than willing to use her legs right now, and it's frustrating Ke$ha a bit. She's not being patient enough. Trying to land that big left without getting into position."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha missing a lot more this round, still finding the range with the right at times, but not able to put punches together."

McCarthy: "Still suppressing Maggie, though. Grace staying on the defensive, firing back with the odd counter."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha keeping the pressure on. Stalking. Wants to slug. Maggie not having any. Legging away again as the final seconds tick away. Ke$ha's round, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Absolutely. But Grace denied her the follow up. She's behind, but, like Elton John, she's still standing."

O'Dell(sighing): "This is going to go on all night, isn't it?"

Tess(chuckling): "Ke$ha extends the lead. 30-26 through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Front Street corner right above us, and Jewel in Ke$ha's ear a bit between rounds, telling her not to press, just to relax and stick to the fight plan..."

McCarthy: "She seemed to be doing that in the second. Got sloppy in the third, though."

O'Dell: "There's the bell and we're underway in round four. Ke$ha again stalking, looking to work forward behind that big right hand. Maggie, slipping it, then using her own jab effectively. Poking that left home, slowing Big K's advance."

McCarthy: "Grace getting outside Ke$ha's jab this round and pre-empting her for the first time in the fight."

O'Dell: "And she got her attention with a follow up right hand, Mac!"

McCarthy: "Stopped her in her tracks, Jenny! Best punch of the fight for Maggie!"

O'Dell: "Ke$ha looking buzzed and Grace continuing to find the range with both hands. Maggie putting punches together, forcing Ke$ha to cover up. Grace lands another solid right. Ke$ha backed up again."

McCarthy: "This is good stuff from Grace. She looked all but out of this fight, but she's turning it around."

O'Dell: "Certainly is, Mac. Maggie landing a final flurry at the bell, and she's clearly won her first round of the night."

Tess: "39-36. Ke$ha still with a nice lead, but Maggie's stopped the jailbreak at least."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Back to action in the fifth, and Maggie's found something she likes and she's right back to it. Stepping left to slip Ke$ha's right jab and poking with her own left. Finding the range, forcing Ke$ha over to the defensive."

Tess: "Ke$ha needs to adjust, and that's something young fighters sometimes have problems with."

McCarthy: "That's where your corner has to come in. You know, the more I see Ke$ha, the more impressed I am with her physical gifts. She's big, strong, athletic. She has a TON of tools. If she ever learns to put them together, she'll be something special. But, she's not going to learn it at Front Street from Weirdo, Jewel, and Campbell. Now, if she had a trainer like ME..."

O'Dell: "Wait for it..."

Tess: "ZERO training wins!"

McCarthy: "PREJEAN DOESN'T COUNT!"

Tess: "You know what's EASY to count? Your number of TRAINING WINS. Here I go...FINISHED!"

McCarthy: "Walllmarrrrtttt..."

O'Dell: "Meanwhile, in the ring, Grace continuing to roll. Ke$ha unable to find the range with the right, and Maggie continuing to use that left to score and fit in right hands. Nothing that's doing much damage, but all those punches are scoring points."

McCarthy: "Ke$ha needs to be busier. She's almost stopped throwing. Can't seem to let the hands go."

O'Dell: "Maggie having no problems doing so, however, in complete control to the bell. Another good round for Ms. Grace, who's back in it, Tess."

Tess: "48-46 now. Ke$ha's lead has been cut in half."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Into the sixth now, and Grace continuing to work the left hand, using movement to slip Ke$ha's jab while scoring with her own."

McCarthy: "Ke$ha needs to keep moving her feet and square this girl up."

O'Dell: "Maggie making that tough to do. Showing a lot of defensive cleverness...AND DOWN SHE GOES! BIG K LANDS THE LEFT HOOK AND MAGGIE DOWN ON HER BACK!"

Tess: "Squared her up pretty well with that one..."

McCarthy: "This kid has POTENTIAL. Wonder if Sceej could get her for me...Weirdo wants Munn..."

O'Dell: "Referee counting at five, six. Grace again rolls to her hands and knees and will beat the count. Takes the mandatory. Referee will let it continue. Ke$ha now looking for the finisher, but Maggie clinching tying up Big K's arms."

McCarthy: "Clever stuff here from Grace, running clock with clinches. Ke$ha keeps shoving her off, but Maggie blocking with a high guard, then stepping forward and tying up."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha showing a little frustration, SHOVING Maggie off and earning a warning from the referee as the final seconds tick off. Sixth round in the books, and it's a big one for Ke$ha, but Maggie survives."

Tess: "And Big K back to the four-point lead 58-54."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Into the seventh now and Ke$ha right after Maggie, looking to drop that Hammer Of Thor and finish this thing. Grace on the defensive, slipping punches, backing to the ropes, going to work from the pocket."

McCarthy: "Ke$ha getting sloppy again. Winging away and missing. Maggie doing a good job defensively, landing some solid counters."

O'Dell: "Grace showing excellent head and shoulder movement, picking off punches with her gloves, making Ke$ha miss. Grace scoring in the counter again. Not doing much damage, but she's racking up points."

McCarthy: "Ke$ha needs to get back to the jab here. I might even have her back into the middle of the ring and stand there. She's got the lead. Make Maggie come to her."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha still swinging away to no avail. Grace scores with another good right as the bell rings and an excellent comeback round for Maggie."

Tess: "67-64 Ke$ha through seven."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "As the eighth begins, Ke$ha does what Mac suggested and gets back to the jab. She's working that big right hand. Maggie in retreat, backing up. Playing defense...AND ROCKING KE$HA WITH A ONE-TWO!"

McCarthy: "BEAUTIFULLY timed by Grace!"

O'Dell: "Maggie hooks the body, ducks a left...AND STAGGERS KE$HA AGAIN! Another two-punch combination...AND ANOTHER! KE$HA WOBBLING BUT NOT GOING DOWN!"

McCarthy: "Maggie stalking now. Has Big K backing up..."

O'Dell: "And she hurts her again with a right hand! Grace getting off with both hands as Ke$ha covers up."

McCarthy: "Maggie knows she's behind, trying to get it all back with one swing!"

O'Dell: "And she rocks Ke$ha AGAIN with a one-two! Ke$ha wobbled again but just won't go down as Maggie lands a final hard right at the bell! Great round for Maggie Grace!"

Tess: "And she's worked her way back into the fight again. 76-74 now."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "We move to the ninth and Ke$ha right back to stalking Maggie behind the jab. Grace looking to counter again. Landing a good right hand there that stung Big K!"

McCarthy: "Tell you something about
Ke$ha, she can not only THROW a big punch, she can TAKE one. Grace hit her with everything but a battle axe last round and couldn't put her down."

O'Dell: "And Maggie's landing sharply again here! Using the counter. Timing Ke$ha perfectly. Scoring points and rocking the younger blonde with right hands!"

McCarthy: "Grace very patient. Willing to wait for the openings. And the patience is paying off."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha just can't find the range. Maggie slipping, ducking, countering, stung Ke$ha AGAIN with a right hand at the bell!"

Tess: "Another good round for Maggie, and it's now 85-84 heading into the tenth."

ROUND TEN:

O'Dell: "Final scheduled round underway, and Ke$ha bulling forward behind the big right hand, thumping a left hook to the body, forcing Maggie to retreat."

McCarthy: "Nothing pretty about this. Big K is banged up but far from discouraged. She's had enough of cute and wants some ugly."

O'Dell: "And that's what she's getting, forcing Maggie backward with some serious aggression. Brawling and banging, doubling down on the violence."

McCarthy: "Grace being suppressed now. Unable to get off much. Ke$ha turning up the heat forcing Maggie to get out of Dodge."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha bangs that big left to the ribs. Misses an overhand right. Maggie slips away and circles. Ke$ha looking to square Grace up again, landed one of those three punches, but Maggie again forced out of her position. Ke$ha scoring with a couple of right jabs as the final seconds run down. There's the bell. Fighters going to touch 'em up..."

Tess: "No hug, Mac..."

McCarthy: "I KNEW there was a reason I liked this kid..."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha's round, ladies?"

McCarthy: "Absolutely."

Tess: "Agreed. And, if our cards are right..."

O'Dell: "Decision coming back and it looks that way. Cards say 95-93 for your winner by UD10, 'Six Feet Of Sexy',
Ke$ha!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Ke$ha, and, K, you said you'd leave Maggie on her back, and you did...TWICE!"

Ke$ha(smiling): "Yeah, but she wouldn't cooperate and STAY there. Seriously, though, she's pretty slick. She can hit and she knows what she's doing in there. She gave me a good fight. But I wasn't trying to let her sneak off with it. I really wanted to take her out of there, but I probably gave away a couple of rounds trying to do that, which wasn't exactly smart."

Tess: "Jenny McCarthy says you've got all the physical tools to be something special..."

Ke$ha(smiling): "Damn! And people say Jenny's dumb! Girl KNOWS what she's talking about!"