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30 December 2012 Kesha vs Sarah Jones

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years ago

Kesha 02.jpg Sarah Jones 01.jpg

"BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME MAYANS" PPV. (Asylum Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on December 30, 2012, 11:15 pm

BEFORE:

"She's big, and she can hit," says a smiling Sarah. "Well, I'm big and I can hit, TOO. So, let's toss the ball up and see what happens."

"People may not have seen much of Sarah," says Ke$ha with a smile. "But, I've seen plenty. She's big and athletic and you'd be making a big mistake if you took her lightly. Fortunately, I'm not trying to do that."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Ride' by The Cary Brothers, and here comes the beautiful Sarah Jones, representing the I.F.F.I. stable!"

McCarthy: "You have to wonder where they come up with these silly stable names. 'Iffy'. What kind of a stupid name is THAT?"

Tess: "Says the woman who's head trainer at SCEEJ Boxing..."

McCarthy: "SCEEJ is not a dumb name!"

Tess: "Well, 'I.F.F.I.' stands for 'Innsmouth Female Fighting Institute'. What does 'Sceej' stand for?"

McCarthy: "EASY. 'Sexy Coeds Envy Erotic J-Mac!'"

Tess: "You are just making things up as you go along! Which, come to think of it, isn't any different than normal..."

O'Dell(sighing): "Jones into the ring, helped off with the robe by the I.F.F.I corner to reveal a lovely medium blue bikini...and that's 'Tik Tok' booming over the sound system, and here comes 'Six-Feet Of Sexy, Ke$ha!"

McCarthy: "This is a kid who has all the physical tools in the world. Big, strong, athletic. There's potential here, but the game hasn't slowed down for her yet..."

Tess: "Ok, explain that one, Mac..."

McCarthy: "It's like in any sport. When you get to the highest level, the speed of the game is faster than anything you've dealt with before. It takes time and experience before you get used to that and the game starts to slow down for you. You start being able to react instead of thinking. Decision making comes quicker. Things click in your mind faster because of your past experience. Happens at different times for different fighters. With Ke$ha, we've seen incremental improvement. She's no longer just a wild brawler like she used to be. She's more disciplined. Better defensively. But it hasn't clicked yet. She hasn't taken that big leap forward. The game hasn't slowed down yet."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve, who are, as usual, in the Front Street corner tonight. And, also as usual, Ke$ha rocking a black number. Ladies getting ready to go, so let's get our picks. Tess on record as favoring Ke$ha. How about you, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Two relatively inexperienced fighters. Could go either way. Have to favor Ke$ha because of her size and power, but Jones can make a fight of this, no question."

O'Dell: "There's the bell for the first and Ke$ha wasting no time going after Jones, looking to work that long right jab. Sarah not having any, however, making Ke$ha miss with good head movement. Using her feet, not getting squared up. Countering with her own jab. Finding the range with it."

McCarthy: "Jones not about to trade here. Wants to box, not brawl."

O'Dell: "And she's doing that effectively, working the right cross off the jab..."

Tess: "Landed a nice one there, Mac!"

McCarthy: "She hurt Ke$ha with that one! Right on the button!"

O'Dell: "Jones patient. Not going all in. Putting punches together for points."

McCarthy: "Smart. She shook Ke$ha, but she didn't have her ready to go. Don't want to let everything go and get caught with that left hand. Ruin your whole day."

O'Dell: "Jones content to get off with a flurry, then reset, forcing Ke$ha to chase. Not letting her find the range. Final seconds tick off, and there's the bell. Good first round for Sarah Jones."

Tess: "Always nice to get off to the 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round now underway and Ke$ha now finding Sarah with the big, piston right hand..."

McCarthy: "Don't..."

Tess: "The Front Street Jab..."

McCarthy:"I not only want top billing, I demand a RAISE for having to work with a BLOCKHEAD like Walmart!"

O'Dell: "Ke$ha using that right hand to back Jones up. Dropping in the odd left. Sarah in full retreat right now..."

McCarthy: "And this is where Ke$ha is most dangerous. She gets you backing up and she can extend on power, you've got problems."

O'Dell: "And Sarah's got some right now. She's eating a lot of leather in the form of Ke$ha's right glove. Jones unable to get off. Just being moved around the ring by the bigger girl. And now it's Ke$ha being patient. Holding that left. Waiting for openings. None of the wild swining we saw earlier in her career. Jones on the ropes now, covering up. Ke$ha banging body with the left hook. Sarah tying up, holding on at the bell, and we're all even."

Tess: "Excellent round for Ke$ha to make it 19-19 through two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "We move into the third and Ke$ha aggressively after Sarah, and Jones now standing her ground and banging back!"

McCarthy: "Risky, but she needs to do some of this after the last round. Can't keep going backward."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha with a right hook to the ribs and a nice left to the side of the head. Sarah with a solid flurry that backed Ke$ha up a step!"

Tess: "Crowd-pleasing stuff, Mac! Two leggy blondes just going at it!"

McCarthy: "Neither of them sloppy or wild, either, just getting off solid, accurate stuff!"

O'Dell: "Accuracy made easier by the fact that neither one is exactly making much effort to slip anything. There's a solid hook to the body by Jones, Ke$ha a straight right on the button that backs up Sarah! Jones fires back with a three-punch that sends sweat flying from
Ke$ha's head, and Ke$ha ends the round with a short left hook to the ribs! Excellent two-way round!"

McCarthy: "I'm giving that to Jones but not by much. Judges could see it either way."

Tess: "I agree with Mac. I've got it 29-28, Jones, but it could just as easily be reversed."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "We've had the good, even fight we expected so far, let's see if that continues as we begin the fourth with Big K again forward behind the big right hand. Jones again standing her ground, looking to counter..."

McCarthy: "Jones giving as good as she's getting right now..."

O'Dell: "LEFT HAND, KE$HA! And Jones is hurt! Ke$ha wobbled her knees with that left cross and the big blonde going to work now, backing Jones up and letting the hands go!"

McCarthy: "That wasn't the big overhand left, but it had plenty of power behind it. And Ke$ha now looking for the off switch. Not getting wild, though, like we've seen in the past."

O'Dell: "Jones backed into the ropes but now firing back, countering off Ke$ha's offense again. Sarah showing heart and the ability to recover quickly. Ke$ha still outworking her, though, banging body, hooking to the side of the head. Jones finding spots for solid counters in response."

Tess: "This HAS been a heck of a fight so far, hasn't it, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Certainly has, Walmart."

O'Dell: "And Ke$ha landing a nice straight right to snap back Jones' head as the fourth comes to an end. And we're all even again, ladies."

Tess: "38-38 through four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Back to action and Ke$ha back to work, banging home that big right jab to set up the heavy left. Jones not backing up a step just rang Ke$ha's bell with a right hand counter!"

McCarthy: "Gotta love the determination of these two young blondes. They remind me a little of Palicki. Not nearly as good as SHE is, of course, but they've got the fire in the belly."

O'Dell: "And Ke$ha has the heavy shot in the cannon! Backs up Jones with a pair of right hands then STINGS her with a left. Sarah firing back but backed up again with a combination from Ke$ha!"

McCarthy: "This is the problem for Jones in this fight. Ke$ha's a bigger, stronger girl. She doesn't want to run from her and stay on the end of her punches, but she's got to be very careful trading."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha more than happy to do that, takes a left to bang home a left of her own that backs Jones up again. Sarah going body in response and Ke$ha snaps her head back with a right hand."

Tess: "Lot of action this round."

McCarthy: "Crowds just LOVE fights like this. It's why I was such a fan favorite!"

O'Dell: "And the fans popping at the bell as Ke$ha wobbles Jones' knees with a left hook! That's the fifth, and Ke$ha's gone into the lead!"

Tess: "No doubt about it. 48-47 for Big K!"

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "This place buzzing as we begin the sixth round quite a fight between two promising young blondes. Ke$ha again forward, making Jones work to hold her canvas. Sarah being forced backward by the big right jab. Ke$ha fitting in the odd left, staying patient, but turning up the heat..."

McCarthy: "NICE right hand counter, Jones!"

O'Dell: "She got Ke$ha's attention with it...AND WALKS HER INTO ANOTHER! Jones has Ke$ha wobbled and she's going all in. Ke$ha backed into the ropes, covering up..."

McCarthy: "Jones wants to end this here and she's really letting the hands go!'

O'Dell: "Ke$ha in a high guard, blocking a lot of this, but Jones managing to land some solid stuff...BIG right snaps back the head...AND IT'S OVER! REFEREE GOING TO STOP IT!"

McCarthy: "Ke$ha doesn't like it at all!"

Tess: "Jones, on the other hand, likes it just fine! Jumping up and down and leaping into the arms of her corner people!"

O'Dell: "And a look at the two corners is all you need to know that your winner by TKO6 is Sarah Jones!

Tess: "Ke$ha FUMING here, but she's going over to congratulate Sarah..."

McCarthy: "Oh, FOR..."

Tess: "And there's one of those post-fight HUGS Mac likes so much..."

McCarthy: "This is a prize fight, not some hippie love-in in San Francisco in the 60s!"

Tess: "Don't make fun, Mac. You may have been CONCEIVED at one of those!"

McCarthy: "I was NOT...I WAS BORN IN 1972!!!!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Six fights to go..."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Sarah Jones, and Sarah, big win for you?"

Sarah: "Oh, yeah! I mean, she's bigger and stronger than me, and I was the underdog coming in, so it was huge for me to pull this thing out..."

Tess: "You two were talking a bit post-fight. What did Ke$ha have to say?"

Sarah: "She congratulated me and said she wants my butt back here for a rematch!"

Tess: "What's your take on that?"

Sarah: "I'll sign it right now!"