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30 December 2012 Katy Perry vs Olga Kurylenko

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years ago

Katy Perry 03.jpg Olga Kurylenko 03.jpg

"BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME MAYANS" PPV (Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on December 30, 2012, 11:27 pm.

BEFORE:

"Perry," says a smiling Olga, "Is just what the doctor ordered for me. She has problems with rangy girls with power, and that describes ME perfectly."

"No question, she's a challenge," says a sweetly smiling Katy. "Anyone who's beaten Swanepoel, Lima, and Gemma Arterton, who's about at the top of the lightweight division around here, is going to be a challenge. But I can handle it. And I can handle HER."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Another Way To Die' by Jack White and Alicia Keys and here comes the lovely Olga Kurylenko!"

McCarthy: "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I LIKE this kid. She does what she has to to get ahead. Like sneaking into the models tournament and nearly winning the thing."

O'Dell: "Olga, of course, representing Empire Boxing. Into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a barely there baby blue number the crowd appreciates. And that's 'Wide Awake' you hear booming through the arena, and here comes Katy Perry..."

McCarthy: "Perry's another one of those girls that has a lot of physical ability but hasn't developed because of poor training by Weirdo and his second-rate training crew..."

Tess: "She HAS won five in a row..."

McCarthy: "She should be much better than she is right now. This kid is like Spears. If she had a good trainer, she could go places. Maybe we ought to make a deal. Send Munn over here for that Dennings kid and Spears. Maybe make Weirdo throw in Perry or Ke$ha as insurance for when Gena retires..."

Tess: "You DO realize you just said that out loud, right?"

McCarthy: "What? Wait...SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Perry into the ring. Helped off with the robe to reveal that lime green number she often wears, and the fans like it..."

McCarthy: "Kid has an awesome body, no question."

O'Dell: "Ladies getting ready to go now. Tess on record as favoring Katy, what do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "This is going to be all about styles. If Olga can keep Katy on the outside, use her rangy power, Perry's in for a long night, or a short one. Katy is bigger and stronger, though. If she can penetrate and bang inside on Olga, Kurylenko's in trouble. I think Katy's superior physically, but Olga's the better fighter, and I think she'll win it."

O'Dell: "Well, let's find out. There's the bell and Olga going to work with that long left jab. Perry looking to work her way inside...AND KURYLENKO LANDS A NASTY RIGHT AND DOWN GOES PERRY!"

McCarthy: "Pretty punch by Olga!"

O'Dell: "Perry shaking it off, to her knees at five. Will rise at seven and take the mandatory. Referee going to let it continue, and Kurylenko going to try to make a short night of it. Right after Perry. Winging away with both hands. Katy covering up, backing up...AND DOWN SHE GOES AGAIN!"

McCarthy: "Another straight right. I hope we've got some filler programming ready. This one's going to be quick..."

O'Dell: "Perry up again at seven. Referee gives her the mandatory. He's going to let it continue. Here comes Olga. She's throwing a blizzard of leather at Katy! Perry backed into the ropes, getting worked over. Perry clinching, trying to hang on here. Olga shoves free...AND DROPS PERRY WITH A LEFT HOOK!"

McCarthy: "Referee needs to stop this before this kid gets seriously hurt..."

O'Dell: "Perry getting back to her feet at eight. She's beaten the count. Referee giving the mandatory...and is going to let this continue! Kurylenko right back at Katy. Banging away upstairs. Perry in a high guard against the ropes. Trying to last out the final seconds of this one...and she does! There's the bell ending the first, and it's a HUGE round for Olga Kurylenko."

McCarthy: "First time I've ever put 10-6 on a scorecard. Not going to matter, because this is never going 10, but, still."

Tess: "This is a round out of Katy's nightmares...and a nightmare evening for Front Street. Two losses already, and they're very close to three."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Into the second round now, and Kurylenko on the offensive, stalking Katy now, looking to finish. Perry backing up, covering up, trying to get her legs working again."

McCarthy: "Kurylenko brutally efficient now. Has a stationary target and is taking full advantage. Using that long left hand to score points and set up big rights. Perry just soaking it up right now."

Tess: "Got to wonder if the referee's going to let this continue much longer."

O'Dell: "Perry doing JUST enough to keep him at bay. Throwing the odd counter. Moving a little better now, but mostly just playing heavy bag for a dominant Olga."

McCarthy: "Give the Perry kid credit. Got more guts than brains, but she's hanging on when a lot of fighters would be on their way back to the dressing room."

O'Dell: "Olga still exploring that option, however. Backing Katy into the ropes and banging away now. Perry in that high guard again. Showing some head and shoulder movement and countering every so often, but Olga getting off clean, heavy shot right to the bell in another dominant round for Kurylenko."

Tess: "20-15 after two. Katy's dug quite the hole."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Into the third now and Kurylenko still stalking. Looking for the off button. Banging lead lefts home. Perry giving ground. Keeping the guard up against that big right hand."

McCarthy: "Olga showing a bit more caution here. Knows she's in control. Not taking any chances with Katy's power, even though Perry's not doing much more than snapping out the odd counter."

O'Dell: "Olga leaning on that left hand. Has been able to find the range with it all night. Trying to set up the big right that could put an end to this."

McCarthy: "Perry starting to firm up a bit now, beginning to fire back."

O'Dell: "And Olga not backing down, banging right back. And they're toe to toe exchanging leather in the center of the ring! Crowd on its feet as Perry lands a nasty right and Olga knocks her back a step with a left hook! Perry a left to the belly and right to the head and there's the bell!"

McCarthy: "Nice recovery by Perry. Took an awful lot of punishment for eight minutes and shook it off in the ninth. Of course, that's one of those moral victories you don't believe in, Tess."

Tess: "I believe in scorecards. And mine says Olga-30, Katy-24."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "We're into the fourth now and Perry working forward for the first time since the opening minute. Katy getting inside Olga's reach and working body. Kurylenko banging back, looking surprised that Perry wants to trade after the first..."

McCarthy: "Perry may not be a Rogue Scholar, but she can add, and she has to know she's not winning this fight without a knockout at this point."

Tess: "You know who IS a Rogue Scholar? Anna Paquin!"

McCarthy: "What ARE you talking about, Walmart?"

O'Dell: "Is there even a bingo square for this one? Meanwhile, back in the ring, Perry backing up Olga for the first time tonight. Using heavy leather to both the head and body. Olga willing to trade, but it's the stronger Katy who's getting the better of this."

McCarthy: "Olga needs to get out of knockout mode and into, 'I've got a huge lead, make her come to me' mode."

O'Dell: "Good point, Mac, but that's not where Olga's head is right now. And Katy's fighting her fight for the first time tonight. Backing Kurylenko up to the bell and getting on the scoreboard."

Tess: "Still a huge defecit, 39-34, but getting a round here has to give Katy some confidence if nothing else."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Back in action in the fifth and Perry again working forward. Olga willing to give some ground now, not going to stand toe to toe...RIGHT HAND AND DOWN GOES PERRY!"

McCarthy: "That straight right of hers is as nice a punch as I've seen in a long time."

O'Dell: "And Katy hasn't seen it yet. Perry to her feet at four and Olga wants to put a stop to this right now. Kurylenko boring forward and stopped in her tracks by a nice combination from Perry. And now Katy with a BOOMING right hand and Olga's rocked! Perry now going all in, driving Kurylenko back into the ropes and going to work on that body with thumping leather..."

McCarthy: "Might be too late to work the body to get into the legs, but punches like these WILL bring the guard down..."

O'Dell: "Perry getting off lusty upstairs now, has Olga buzzed and staring. Referee looking in. Kurylenko tying up, but Perry punches free to the body and SNAPS BACK OLGA'S HEAD WITH A LEFT HOOK...BELL! BELL!"

McCarthy: "None too soon for Olga. Referee wasn't going to put up with much more."

Tess: "Great comeback for Perry, but she needed to finish. She saved a point, made it 10-9 instead of 10-8, but she's not going to win on the scorecards."

McCarthy: "I think that's a safe bet, Walmart. I don't know if there's ever been a comeback from 49-43 that didn't involve a knockout or a basketball."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "On to the sixth now and Perry definitely thinking knockout, working forward, but Olga stops her COLD with a right hand!"

McCarthy: "Katy a little buzzed from that one..."

O'Dell: "But she's powering through it, continuing to pressure. Olga not playing this time. She's not going to trade with Perry after what happened last round. Instead she's working the left for points, staying outside, circling Perry."

McCarthy: "This needs to be the gameplan for Kurylenko the rest of the way. No more trying to take Perry out of there. She has this fight won. All she needs to do is be standing when it's over."

O'Dell: "And that's exactly how she's playing this at the moment. Staying behind the left hand. Being content to stick and move, not willing to hold ground and allow exchanges."

McCarthy: "Olga very smooth. She's had a bit of a slump, but she's collected some pretty good scalps. Empire may want to think about pushing this girl..."

Tess: "You going to trade Munn for her, too, George Allen?"

McCarthy: "I never said I...George Who?"

Tess: "He was a football coach. Liked veteran players and hated rookies so he always traded most of his draft choices away. One time, he traded the same pick TWICE!"

McCarthy: "Look, there are trades with multiple stables involved...maybe we could pull one of THOSE off...wait...I'M NOT DISCUSSING THIS!"

O'Dell: "Final seconds elapse in the sixth and no question another good round for Olga."

Tess: "59-52 through six. Katy's had her moments, but Olga's in complete control."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "We're into the seventh now and Kurylenko lands a nice combination to get things started. Good right hand follow! Perry walks through them and EATS a nice left hook. Olga bounces away behind the jab, having scored nicely in the first 30 seconds."

McCarthy: "And she's smartly back to using the jab from the outside. No need to take chances. Safety first now for Kurylenko."

O'Dell: "Katy still game, looking for something big she can use to pull this out, but Olga's going to make it very hard for 'The Santa Barbara Slugger' to do any slugging. Olga on the move, flicking that jab out, making Katy chase. Perry's willing to do that. Knows she can turn everything around with one punch."

McCarthy: "One of the many advantages a girl with power like Katy has over powderpuff punchers like Scherzinger. Even if she's down on the cards, she still has the puncher's chance."

O'Dell: "But time is beginning to slip away from the lovely Katy. Olga nibbling from the outside as the final seconds tick off the clock for round seven. There's the bell, and Kurylenko has padded an already substantial lead."

Tess: "69-61. Those are not numbers you see very often on boxing scorecards."

McCarthy: "And they've got me wondering how much longer you'll see Perry fighting for The Weirdo.

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "We're back in action in round eight and Kurylenko AGAIN catches Perry with that right hand! Olga follows up with a blistering flurry that forces Katy to cover up, then circles away behind the left hand."

McCarthy: "It's like watching a football team run the same play over and over. Going to keep doing it until they stop it. Olga looks for big shots early, banks her points, then runs clock behind that long reach."

O'Dell: "And that's precisely what she's doing now. Sticking and moving. Working the left hand. Reversing movement. All about creating a difficult target for the Katy."

McCarthy: "Give Perry credit. She's not getting discouraged here. She's still working despite the fact that absolutely nothing's gone her way all night."

O'Dell: "Katy all about effort. Continues to pressure. Olga all about safety. Using the height, the reach, the legs, all to good effect."

McCarthy: "When you're behind like this, trying to engage a girl and she won't have any, these rounds seem to go by in an instant."

O'Dell: "And this one HAS gone by too quickly for Katy. There's the bell, and Olga has another win."

Tess: "Scorecard is getting a bit embarrassing. 79-70."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "Ninth round underway, and Perry pressuring now. Coming right down main street looking for the knockout, and Olga making her eat quite a bit of leather for her trouble. Kurylenko BANGING home right hands, stopping Perry in her tracks, buzzing her again and again, but Katy regroups and keeps coming."

McCarthy: "No lack of 'want to' in Katy. Got to wonder if this would have been a competitive fight if she hadn't gotten so far behind immediately and had to go for the home run almost from the start..."

Tess: "Or, it might have just been round after round of Olga working the left from long range leading to the same result."

McCarthy: "I may have to put a gold star on your forehead. You ARE one of my best pupils, Walmart."

Tess: "Well, the other was Prejean, so it's not like I had much competition."

O'Dell: "And, despite the best efforts of a game Katy Perry, Olga's not getting much at the moment, either. Kurylenko is raining fire down on the singer. Perry soaking it all up and just keeps coming. But Olga piling up the points and piling on the hurt."

McCarthy: "And creating a fight that's a candidate for 'beatdown of the year'."

O'Dell: "Final seconds melt away in the ninth, and it's yet another round for Kurylenko."

Tess: "89-79. These numbers get more unreal every time I write them.

ROUND TEN:

O'Dell: "Tenth and final underway now..."

McCarthy: "At least we know we aren't getting overtime this time around. Unless we end up with a 10-0 round..."

Tess: "Highly unlikely, Mac."

O'Dell: "And Olga going to make sure of it, using the left hand from long range. Perry still game, still working forward, but certainly fighting fatigue now..."

McCarthy: "No doubt she's depleted. A lot of lights would be long gone by now. Give the kid credit, still trying."

O'Dell: "And Olga still making her pay. Picking her apart from the outside. Cruel stuff, Mac..."

McCarthy: "This is 'you don't WANT a rematch' time. Olga just piling on in what's been an awesome performance for her."

O'Dell: "Kurylenko staying at range, not allowing Perry to close, just picking away with her left in the closing seconds. Bell can't come soon enough for Katy, and there it is. A romp from beginning to end for Olga Kurylenko, and a discouraging result for Katy Perry."

Tess: "99-88. Not going to be any doubt about the result."

O'Dell: "And none of those hugs Mac hates, either, though the ladies do touch 'em up as a sign of respect as the decision is announced for your winner by UD10 Olga Kurylenko!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Olga Kurylenko, and, Olga, great night for you..."

Olga: "She's not in my league. Not in my league. Front Street should know better! Send your 'A' team after me, Arterton, Decker, Ruah. I'll beat THEM, too, but they might get a few rounds. Maybe."