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1 February 2013 Kat Dennings vs January Jones

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 11 months ago

Kat Dennings 02.jpg

"NIGHTMARE ON FRONT STREET AT THE ASYLUM" (Site: Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on February 1, 2013, 11:43 pm

BEFORE:

FEBRUARY 7, 2012:

O'Dell: "Jones banging away at Dennings. Closing seconds of the tenth..."

McCarthy: "No question about this one. She's been all over Kat since the first minute of the opening round when she bloodied her nose. Dennings has done well not to get stopped here."

O'Dell: "Jones wants more. Ripping punches at the brunette. Kat still game, but she's got nothing left. Not going to go down, but the decision will be a wide one for a dominant January Jones!"

TODAY:

"No excuses," says Kat, without a hint of a smile. "She totally outclassed me the first time. I was never in it. But that was a year ago. I'm a different fighter now. And January is about to find out that January just isn't her month."

"I'll admit, after what happened the last time, I was VERY surprised she wanted this fight," says a smiling January. Then she winks and continues. "Then again, maybe she DOESN'T. Because, maybe her management thinks she's good enough to handle me now, but Kat KNOWS. Deep inside, she KNOWS. She knows she's getting another beating tonight and there's nothing she can do about it. Sucks to be her."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and that's 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' by Scissor Sisters and here comes 'The Rack', Kat Dennings!"

McCarthy: "You know, if Weirdo wasn't so stuck up about JMD, this girl could have a future there. IF she had a better trainer than Campbell. She's not hot enough to be a PLAYMATE, of course..."

Tess: "HERE we go..."

McCarthy: "But she's stacked. Oh, and SHUT IT, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "And the dissolution of our audience via demon alcohol continues, as Kat climbs into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that black number she's been wearing of late..."

McCarthy: "What the heck is THAT song?"

Tess: "That would be the theme song from 'Rosemary's Baby' by Krzysztof Komeda."

O'Dell: "And it's being used tonight as the theme song for one January Jones, who's on her way to the ring!"

Tess: "The film, of course, was directed by Roman Polanski and dealt with a woman giving birth to the son of the devil. It was released in 1968, and struck a chord with some parents of that era who were having a little trouble recognizing the teenagers who used to be their babies..."

O'Dell: "Jones, of course, representing Beever's Babes. She's into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a white two-piece that the crowd appreciates. Ladies getting ready, so let's get our picks. Tess going with Jones. What do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Again, I'm going with the girl who won last time. Jones dominated Dennings, and I have no reason to believe she won't do it again."

O'Dell: "There's the bell. Jones already on her toes and moving, popping that left hand in Kat's face. Dennings looking to cut the ring, closing, WHACKING body, shoving and crowding, and now Jones slipping away, back to open ocean, and back to that jab..."

McCarthy: "You just saw this fight in a nutshell. Jones wants to box like she did the last time. Dennings isn't about to let that happen again. All going to depend on who can dictate terms."

O'Dell: "Both ladies having some success early on. Jones finding space at times, scoring with that left hand, dropping in rights. Kat coming forward, always forward, looking to crowd and bang. Concentrating on the body."

Tess: "This is matador and bull stuff and the bull is breathing fire right now."

O'Dell: "Pretty good analogy, Tess. Dennings not holding back, putting all she has into that leather that's THUMPING off the flanks and ribs of January. Jones, meanwhile, putting her own offense together, able to flurry upstairs, slowing Kat's pursuit. Good, competitive first round ends. Not much in it, ladies?"

McCarthy: "I had it even."

Tess: "Agreed. 10-10 after one."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Getting ready for the second..."

Tess: "And look who our camera people have found in the crowd..."

McCarthy: "Get that camera OFF her!"

Tess: "A girl who's likely not wishing any good fortune on Kat tonight. Kendra Wilkinson of Odds and Ends, here, of course, to cheer on Adriana Lima..."

McCarthy: "Get that camera OFF that TRAMP!"

Tess: "Kendra, of course, has history with both Kat AND Mac..."

McCarthy: "She is an overrated Dancing Hooker who gives Playmates a bad name! I'm AMAZED she doesn't fight for The Weirdo!"

Tess: "No less a light than our esteemed commissioner has called Kendra 'one of the best pound-for-pound punchers in Playmate HISTORY...'"

McCarthy: "Which might be true if she weighed SEVEN POUNDS. AND SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, and there's the bell to begin the second. Jones on her toes now, circling and jabbing, making Dennings chase. We saw a lot of this the last time they fought. Kat unable to close, getting sniped at from long distance."

McCarthy: "Dennings may have learned a little something from the last time. She's keeping moving, not standing in one place and letting Jones call the tune. Keeping up the pressure and trying to cut the ring."

O'Dell: "Dennings closing, going body...AND WOBBLES JONES WITH A LEFT HOOK!"

Tess: "Nice punch!"

O'Dell: "January now in full retreat and Kat's in clean up mode..."

McCarthy: "Kid's eyes are SHINING. She's all about the kill right now..."

O'Dell: "Kat's got the blonde on the ropes and she is digging body with both hands, trying to bring down that guard. Good left hook again! This one sends sweat flying from Jones' head. January covering up, snapping back the odd jab, but just trying to get out of this round."

McCarthy: "Dennings turning up the heat. Wants to get her out of here!"

O'Dell: "But Jones not having any. January clinching, covering, hanging on, and she's going to make it to the bell ending round two!"

Tess: "No doubt about the winner of the round. Kat's got a 20-19 edge through two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Into the third now, and Jones still looking a bit unsteady. Dennings right after her, banging away to the body..."

Tess: "SHOVEL HOOK!"

O'Dell: "DOWN GOES JONES! The Neve Campbell shovel hook to the liver and Jones is down! Dennings to a neutral corner. Referee's count at four. Five. Six. Jones getting to her knees. She's going to beat it! Taking the count now as Dennings waits in the corner. Referee waives Kat forward and she goes right to work. Hooking body..RIGHT HAND AND DOWN GOES JONES AGAIN!"

McCarthy: "That was a nice straight right to the head off the left hook to the body."

O'Dell: "Again Kat to a neutral corner as the referee begins the count. And, again, Jones is going to beat it. She's up at eight and will take the mandatory. Referee waives Dennings forward. He's going to let it continue. Dennings now looking to finish, but Jones now clinching, tying up Kat's arms..."

McCarthy: "Again, just trying to get out of the round..."

O'Dell: "Dennings trying to punch free, but Jones not allowing it. Referee breaks them, but Jones ties up again. Dennings shoving forward, backing Jones up, getting the left free and hooking the ribs with it. Referee breaks them again...AND DENNINGS ROCKS JONES WITH A LEFT-RIGHT TO THE HEAD! January backed against the ropes and Dennings going all in. Firing away with both hands, thumping the body, then going upstairs...BIG RIGHT HAND TO THE HEAD! Jones' knees wobbled!"

McCarthy: "Get IN there, Ref..."

O'Dell: "Final seconds running off the clock...OH! RIGHT HOOK, KAT! SENDS JONES REELING ALONG THE ROPES...January's hands drop! Dennings hammers home a left and another right hook...AND IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! REFEREE HAS SEEN ENOUGH AND HE'S STOPPING IT WITH EIGHT SECONDS LEFT...JONES OUT ON HER FEET...UNABLE TO DEFEND HERSELF...YOUR WINNER BY TKO3, 'THE RACK', KAT DENNINGS!"

McCarthy: "Eight seconds. WHERE WAS THIS GUY WHEN I WAS FIGHTING CAMPBELL???"

O'Dell: "Referee helping January back to her corner and...what the..."

Tess: "Kendra Wilkinson into the ring! Kendra right in Kat's face jawing at her...AND IT'S ON! WILKINSON AND DENNINGS THROWING DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!"

O'Dell: "NEVE AND JEWEL OUT OF THE CORNER TRYING TO BREAK THIS UP...AND HERE COME THE ODDS AND ENDS TROOPS! VAUGIER AND CARLSON IN THE RING! HOLT AND RICCI AND SHAHI!"

Tess: "And here comes Front Street! Britney, Allison Mack, Decker, Torv and Ruah!"

McCarthy: "THAT'S IT!"

O'Dell: "NOW, HANG ON MAC...MCCARTHY HEADED INTO THE RING..."

Tess: "Looks like the two stables are working together to restore order. No heat between Front Street and Odds and Ends...just between Kat and Kendra. They've gotten Wilkinson and Dennings apart as J-Mac enters the ring...AND KENDRA CLOCKS HER FROM BEHIND! DOWN GOES J-MAC!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Is Will Smith still in the building? We might need him for the next fight..."

Tess: "Odds and Ends hustling Kendra out of the ring and backstage as the Front Street girls clear the ring as well, save for Kat and her corner, of course. Mac to one knee. Gets to her feet...seems to be OK...coming back down to join us..."

O'Dell: "Take your time with that headset, Mac...you OK to go?"

McCarthy: "I'M. FINE. SCEEJ, IF YOU ARE WATCHING, AND YOU'D BETTER BE, YOU CALL THAT BYTCH'S STABLE AND GET HER FOR ME! DO YOU HEAR ME? GET HER FOR ME! IN A RING, A BAR, ON A BEACH OR A CRUISE SHIP OR AT THE TAJ MAHAL! I DON'T CARE WHERE, BUT GET HER FOR ME!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Well, since things have calmed down, let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore..."

Tess: "I have our winner, Kat Dennings..."

Kat: "HEY, WILKINSON, I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR THIS! GET YOUR SKINNY A** BACK DOWN HERE AND LET'S FINISH THIS! I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU, RUBBER RACK! COME ON, PLAYMATE! SHOW ME YOU CAN DO SOMETHING BESIDES HUGH HEFNER!"

Tess: "Um, can we talk about Jones?"

Kat: "Jones has class and talent, UNLIKE Wilkinson! But she found out tonight that I'm not the same girl I was a year ago. I've still got a long way to go to get to where I want to be, but, these days, I'm all about getting there."