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9 February 2013 Jennifer Love Hewitt vs January Jones

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 11 months ago

Posted by simguy on February 9, 2013, 10:40 am

BEFORE: "You know what the difference between me and January is?" Jen asks assembled press in prefight. "I carry the shows I'm on; January's show carries her! Face it - guys: I'm a marquee fighter and celebrity; January's background - she's a prop - she's setting! When Mad Men goes off the air, we'll never see January again. I'll beat this girl the way stars have been beating understudies for decades: without mercy or restraint!"

January scowling and pouting...she's not loving Jen's high handed approach. "Jen's RACK carries shows - not her acting," Jones huffs in rebuttal. "And that same rack is going to come under intense, heavy bombardment in this fight - as is Jennifer's soft underbelly. Yes, that's right: I said 'soft'. Jennifer always falls to determined blondes like Elisha Cuthbert and me. She can't take punishment anymore and it's a great time to be making my move on her!"

January in white bikini with ring connections jug and hip; hair in pretty dutch braid with curls framing her face; small white gloves. Jen in fog-grey bikini with ring connections jug and hip; hair in loose curls; small black gloves. Staredown: Hewitt standing hands on hips with pursed lips of disdain; Jan standing with arms crossed/sour expression.

During R1: January steppin'-to with dukes up high, cramming dutiful right hands to Jen's tummy while keeping the left at cheek. Jen retreating in good order, letting January step in: hook-receipt eventually clips January across the chin - startling her - stubby right hand knocks her head back and SITS HER DOWN! Jones on her backside looking up in shock - scowling Hewitt making a great show of wiping her hands clean en route to neutral corner. Jones strong off the mat, shaking off Hewitt's power - Jennifer wades in to close the show, but encounters fierce resistance as girls crowd shoulder-to-shoulder, pumpin' tummy/jug hup-hup-hup to bell.

R2: Hewitt going right at January - stepping in a stiff jab to jug; swinging a fat right hand wide to lats; hooking paunch; bumping January off with left shoulder. Jones grumpy-frowning as Jen's fists sample blonde wares...January eventually forced into sullen earmuff-front against ropes. Jennifer methodical: waist is there so she takes it via thick right/lefts; scraping right uppercuts test January's raised forearms; exploratory hooks dig in behind Jan's right elbow, searching for liver. Jones hunkering down, absorbing blows...she avoids shutout by answering back late - once again embroiling Jennifer in crowd-pleasing shoulder-to-shoulder trade in short-shrugging hup-hup.

R3: Hewitt methodically aggressive: stepping-to behind a heavy jab; pounding in that wrecking ball right up top; beating Jones' waist whenever she forms a rigid peek-a-boo front. January quickly escorted to ropes - Hewitt begins crowding operations to pull apart blonde guard - Jen fighting off Jan's chest, palming Jones' hips back and digging up tummy underneath. Jones growing ragged under the constant touch and weight of Hewitt...blonde girl mouthbreathing, pushing against her tormentress - taking blunt, compact punches in return. Down the stretch, with Jones wobbling and drained - Jen starts packing in short right forearms into generous blonde rack - stuffing away to her heart's content as January whines in protest. Aiding in the attack; Jen's left hand pushing January's right bicep away to expose jug. Bell: Jennifer pumping-rack as January's sitting in ropes, head lolling woozy...ref pulls Hewitt off, gives her a stern warning about those foreams - gesturing with his own elbow for emphasis.

R4: Hewitt attempting to drive January back into ropes for more processing: blonde girl has other ideas. Jones fighting a series of bitter set-piece exchanges - girls in there close, bumping left shoulders, beating each other about the breasts and tummy, but Jan's coming off body to rap Jen's chin right uppercuts/left hooks as well. Down the stretch it's HEWITT withdrawing with a cranky expression...Jones reaching in the pursuit jab between Jen's eyes, knocking her backwards/chasing her to ropes. January piling into Jen with a scooping right hand deep to tummy...Jennifer blurts in shock, throwing her arms around Jan's neck to keep from pitching to canvas. January's got Jen butt-in-ropes - left hand flat on Jen's rightside lats, right hand PUMPIN' at the gut as Jennifer cringes forward, hanging off blonde-girl's neck. Bell: January still mining quit in Jen's gut - ref has to dis-assemble brawling vixens as Jan won't stop punching/Jen won't let go of the neck wrap.

R5: Hard fought battling - all around the ring. Jennifer measuring with that short left jab, then putting her back into stubby right hands, really ringing Jan up to chin. Blonde girl taking those blunt wallops well, shoveling back right hands at Jennifer's gut, then both girls scrub away in close to jug until lathering action induces inevitable clinch. Girls stumbling around in mutual embraces - ref pushes bodies apart to reset; pattern repeats. Jennifer basically making the fight - going at January and forcing her to respond...Jones competing well, but Hewitt dictating through 5.

R6: Same again: rugged stop-and-go fighting - girls hitting each other hard, fighting with bared teeth/blazing eyes in a series of pitched battles that end in writhing clinches and ref's breaks. Jennifer's stocky legs generally pushing January back...any fighting at ropes sees Jen on top, forcing January to tie up or suffer punishment. Ref issuing a stream of warnings to both girls - mostly for forearm/elbow stuffiing attacks to jug when fighters are in close.

R7: Jen pawing her jab at January's jugs...pawing 'em...pawing...RIGHT HAND, JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT! That stubby little blast off the shoulder clips across January's chin, swiveling her head, putting her on her back in a heartbeat. "BOOM!" Jen shouts down, grinnin' like a champ...January good and hurt this time, cringing and rickety as she gathers herself up. Jones swaying on the spot, resting against ropes for support...Hewitt wades on in all "I'm Big" to do what she does best. Smearing body to body assault - Jen reaching under Jan's arms to wrestle apart the guard while chesting blonde girl ragdoll to ropes. Head in Jan's chest, Jen slugs the gut via short, pumping blows - just cramming away to methodical to paunch as January's hands cup at Jen's ears. Folding January into left-arm wraps around the back, Jen works jug via stuffing right hands, while whining blonde girl rides right arm across Jen's shoulders, absorbing with a stricken expression. Bell to bell Jen: she never lets Jan off the ropes, rarely lets her take an uncontested breath...Hewitt pushing off and stamping back to her corner all jugs a-jumpin' for break.

R8: Look at Jan compete! Battered and ragdolled in the 7th, January dries her eyes, stiffens her spine and wades right into Jennifer Love Hewitt! Jen shocked to find herself butt-in-ropes, trying to slug her way out of containment: January belting away brawny right hands while using the left to push at Jen's face or breasts. Jan just feeding Jen righty - plowing 'em to gut; cramming 'em to jug; drifting 'em to chin. Jennifer taking well, but she's in bobbing crossed-arm, looking confused and abused as January works her over on ropes. Bell: ref has to pull seething blonde girl off...January consumed with Jen hate through 8.

R9,10: Methodical, take-no-chances Jennifer Love here...she's jabbing January to close, then reaching in under blonde arms to chest Jones to ropes - bumpin' and sluggin' from there. Jones competitive, but wearing down - just the constant contact and pressure from Jennifer taking it's toll on January's legs. Jen crowding at ropes, smothering January - brunette's stocky legs stamping for position, keeping her weight forward to prevent blonde escape attempts. Then it's a workmanlike effort to pack tummy short right hands, or plow those jugs thumping right forearms - often with the left hand pulling January forward by her right tricep. Jones haggard, sloppy from hurt, but never really out of it...Jennifer continually picked up in her tummy or tits as blonde girl just won't submit. Bell to end the 10th - Jennifer pushes up off January all hot-and-bothered...Hewitt scowling and angry due to insolent blonde defiance. Comes back UD10 Hewitt - girls still pushing hands and bytching at each other in the aftermath.

AFter: "Gave her the beating she deserved," a still-angry Jennifer Love tells cameras in postfight. "Think she was confused by the fact that my 'soft' underbelly was nowhere to be found. She tried to fight my fight, but she couldn't: it was me on her, forcing the action, all night long. I've decided I don't like January Jones, so she better keep her head down. If she makes me notice her, she'll regret it!"

January getting some attention with the plucky effort - getting called out by Lexa Doig (Continuum) among others.