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22 March 2013 Kirsten Dunst vs Lindsay Lohan

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Kirsten Dunst 04.jpg Lindsay Lohan 07.jpg

Posted by simguy on March 22, 2013, 9:10 am

BEFORE: Dunst once highly-touted and obviously talented in the gym...why has she struggled to get traction? "I blame Claire Danes," Kirsten says, taking mic from podium and walking out amongst the press in unconventional prefight. "I let Claire's success get to me I guess. I was young, I didn't expect to lose to her, then when she started piling up wins and titles, it just sort of discouraged me, and I drifted. Sort of the Theron/Angie Harmon effect I guess. But I'm not that girl anymore. Claire's moved on; I've got my head on straight and at flyweight, I think my maturity and talent can really dominate a lot of girls. In fact, you could say Lilo's where I was headed, but in this fight, I'll definitely show that I'm on a different path. I'm better - inside and out - and Lindsay's just going to have to accept that."

Lilo scoffing at the notion of an older, wiser, KD: "Dunst never got on track, 'cause she didn't have 'it'," Lilo snarks from podium. "You guys know what I'm talking about, and you know I DO have 'it'. I've won big fights, titles...and I will again. I heard they brought in Audrina Pats for Kirsten to shark up on in sparring: Audrina P! Does that sound like a confident girl getting hard work done, or does that sound like a pampered, fragile starlet whose owners want to protect at all costs? Right? TOTALLY the second one!"

Lilo in jaunty nautical bikini - navy blue top fastened by big brass ring between hulking bulkheads; white tuggable trunks with baby blue diagonal striping and little anchors; white gloves; long blonde hair bundled together off left shoulder in dutch braid. Krissy D in black bandeau top; grey/black check bikini bottoms; white gloves; perky high pony with swept bangs.

During R1: Wide, slow hook beguiles Kirsten early...Lilo able to drill home a short, straight right to chin, buzzing blonde legs at the open. Leads to a series of whip-limbed, lashing exchanges - Lilo attempting to batter Kirsten into submission: Dunst fighting a series of desperate holding-actions in retreat. Strong round for Lilo, but Kirsten manages to keep her feet, deny Lindsay a real jail-break with spirited resistance.

R2: Kirsten springy legged - shifting to her right to turn Lilo's left flank - batting a straight-arm left against Lindsay's midsection; scuffing the thumb of the left jab across jugs - Dunst carrying the right hand low at her side, whipping it up and around whenever Lilo charges forward. Lohan scowling, looking to pour in and slug, but Dunst cagey/elusive - showing the lively, wiry legs she had in "Wimbledon", keeping her distance, getting touches in a tactical second.

R3: Same orientation with Dunst shifting counter-clockwise midring, right hand low, left hand administering batting, straight-arm licks against the Lohan torso. Kristen generating real whip with that left hand - spanking it to tummy; whapping it to jug, and on occasion - double-whacking it against Lindsay's trunks to bunch Lohan up "Uhhh...". Any time Linds stoops forward hurt, Dunst hops-to - lathering Lohan's back sinewy rights and lefts, then lowering either shoulder to lift-in uppercuts. Lohan groaning - face pinched in discomfort...she's swinging wild receipts - always late as nimble Kirsten hops away to her right, eyes bright at her foe's distress.

R4: Lindsay regroups, keeping right hand at her cheek while stepping into straight, stiff left jabs, knocking back Kirsten's face like a champ. Dunst scowling, trying to hop out of range, but Lindsay scoot-stepping in pursuit, jabbing body/head, driving Dunst to ropes. Kirsten shows earmuff on the apron, keeping elbows in: Lohan belts away to flanks - slender arms shivering as fists bounce off Kirsten's lean chassis. Dunst tying up for ref's breaks, but she can't reverse the trend - Lilo always hounding KD to ropes, strapping rangy right/lefts to flanks as Dunst covers up. Nasty pay back late as Kirsten's sitting in ropes, showing earmuff...Lilo dipping left shoulder, sweeping wide left hooks behind Kirsten's right elbow CHUP! CHUP! Lindsay lowers her trajectory, taking Dunst in the trunks, winning sobs of agony from Kirsten as ref moves in hot.

R5: Kirsten hard-eyed, flat footed as she looks to take canvas from Lilo. Dunst with the left hand extended almost all the way out, making little circles with it, then poke-poking it to pate; dropping in a relaxed, chopping right thereafter. Lilo staring angrily at the touches, but missing the receipts...Dunst shifting juuust out of reach, then weaving back into range with nimble, high-volume punches. As Lilo covers up earmuff, Kirsten goes body - dipping left shoulder and reaching out wide to really whirl the hooks home to ribcage. Dunst buggywhipping right hands in above Lilo's left hip as well - comprehensive lashing has Lilo frazzled through 2 minutes. Down the stretch, Linds jabs-with, trades right hands, then wins the race for the come-back hook...Dunst's legs give way, spilling her backward with an astonished expression as Lilo takes command! Kirsten keeps her feet, but hits ropes shabby...Dunst covers up/hunches forward in earmuff butt-in-ropes as Lilo belts away to steal the round late! Lindsay feeding Kirsten swinging right hands to ribcage at the bell and beyond as Dunst's just stooping forward, sponging up the hurt. Ref pulls Lilo off from behind, giving her shoulders a good hard shake and wagging a finger in her frowning face as Kirsten slouches against ropes, hugging throbbing ribs.

R6: Kirsten stays disciplined, gets back to chipping away at Lilo from a flat footed, bendy-backed stance. Jabs from a semi-extended arm position haunt Lindsay - knocking at her brows, tapping at her lips, setting up smooth, chopping rights to head, or wide, whacking rights to ribs/waist. Lohan sputtering - hands up trying to parry the incoming, but feet giving ground all the way to ropes. Down the stretch - Dunst stabbing left jabs straight to gut, then batting away tidy to Lilo's ears via both hands in close...Lohan able to brawl back in kind, whirling sufficient leather to prevent Dunst from closing the show.

R7: Lohan determined to be the aggressor, walking Kirsten down...Dunst roaming to her left in clockwise rotation, keeping arms loose, issuing check-jabs to Lindsay's breasts, but mindful of Lohan's slinging rights. Linds advancing, taking the points, but she's being baited - Dunst willing to trade canvas to walk Lilo into left hands, then dart away before an exchange can develop. Down the stretch, Kirsten dragging her front (left) foot as she's sliding back with weight on right (back) plant leg...Lilo stomping forward, walks into a ringing palm-down check-hook to point of chin! Lohan's torso lolls on her hips; back (right) foot slides forward as her hands come down: Kirsten quickly in with a slap-chop right to chin - ejecting Lilo's mouthpiece - extra left hook as Lohan's straight-leg-sitting back and DOWN GOES LILO! Lindsay crashing to her back, hands up above her head, legs rigid and spasming - her left quad clenching hard as a fist as muscle-fibers fire...she's out! KO7 Kirsten Dunst in shocking fashion!

AFter: Dunst not a heavy-handed fighter by any means, but Lilo walking into accurate punch-placement does the work of sledgehammers tonight. "It's awesome," Dunst beams. "Shelling Lilo unconscious? Are you kidding? That's a golden, precious moment I'll never forget. I dreamed of punishing her, you know? Like, I wanted to be getting off and breaking her down, but to do that AND spread her out? It's like winning an Oscar or something! Get some cameras on her, guys! I want play-back of her stupid face when what I did sinks in."