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22 March 2013 Catherine Zeta Jones vs Jennifer Lawrence II

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Catherine Zeta Jones 07.jpg Jennifer Lawrence 01.jpg

Posted by simguy on March 22, 2013, 9:32 am.

BEFORE: "Perhaps the 'Kentucky Hillbilly' should learn how to climb stairs in a dress before presuming to ascend the heights in Hollywood," Jones smirks in prefight, cattily referencing Jennifer's Oscar-night tumble. "She may hold an Oscar, but that says more about the fallen standard of the Academy these days than it does her performance. Obviously, the girl is not ready to bear the weight her management team thrusts upon her. I placed every other female celebrity in the shade at the Oscars: I AM the regal face of Hollywood and it is inconceivable that this backwoods bucolic could ever supplant me!"

Jennifer settling into her status as a reigning Oscar winner and marquee fighter - a distinction few others have managed over the years. "I'm a bulldozer," Jen says of her campaign to re-design Hollywood in her image. "Yes, there will be resistance. A woman like Catherine Zeta Jones doesn't just let you plow through - she's dug in her heels and she's making me push. Point is though: I'm pushing. Hard. And it doesn't matter how stubborn she is, or what tricks she plays, sooner or later, I'm bulldozing on through. Out with the old, in with the new baby! Theron did it 10 years ago, now I'm here to refresh the joint all over again!"

Jen in bright blue fighting bikini; blonde ponytail with bangs winging off her brows; white gloves. CZJ in sturdy yellow bandeau top shoe-laced up between jugs; solid red bottoms; black gloves; black hair loose and tangly.

R1: Chins tucked, shoulders hunched forward, dukes up - women affect compact hard-working stances as they step-to midring. Jones dips left shoulder/sweeps wide left hook to trunks - taken neatly on the thigh as Jen turns her hip-with. Law doubling up the jab to nag Jones' jugs, then drawing left hand back to really whack a left hook to belly. Jones with a short right hand over Jen's left shoulder, grazing chin. Jones hooking belly via tight-swiping hook - plowing left shoulder into Jen's tits on follow through to bump blonde girl back a step. So it goes...girls in there digging, getting off robusto, maintaining tight defensive fronts and bashing away methodical. Final minute, Jen breaks the stalemate when a crashing hook knocks Catherine's head back, forcing brunette to ropes at the stagger...Jones wide-eyed at the power, but digging in, engaging Law in spirited mouth-on-shoulder hup-hup as girls punch respective paunches with grim ferocity at bell.

R2: JONES GOES DOWN! Women exchange grazing rights/comeback hooks...Jen's clobbering wallop to face sends Catherine crashing to canvas jugs a-sloshing. Lawrence grinning, jogging to neutral corner all ponytails and dimples...CZJ rickety to her feet, taking a blinking 8. JENNIFER WADES IN! Lawrence pushing into Catherine, making her take weight, palming those succulent Welsh hips back, rolling the left shoulder into those Oscar-winning jugs, then OH: THE BODY WORK! Plenty of time on the clock - no need to rush...Jen just plowing up tummy with both mitts a-pumpin'; working her way up-torso to chug into Catherine's heaving rack. Jones grimacing, pushing with her left shoulder, wrestling with Jen's arms, but blonde girl too strong...Lawrence just crowding her brunette, bumping her ragdoll, then bashing away to arms and torso. Midway through, Jones mouthbreathing, fading fast...Jen cuffs her a little swat-hook to cheek, then dips and DIGS that left hook in snug behind right elbow...JONES GOES DOWN! Catherine sobbing aloud, sitting into ropes, then tumbling to knees and elbows, forehead on canvas, damp black hair strewn across pale back, rounded arms and canvas in a tumble of despair. Jen grinning, sashaying to neutral corner hands-on-hips...Jones beats the count shabby - hair in her eyes as she takes another 8. Jen wades in strong again - putting the body on Catherine, pushing her ragdoll into ropes, bumping her the left shoulder, then working gut-and-hips both hands. Methodical stuff from Patient JLaw - she's just nestling her left cheek on Catherine's left shoulder, moving hands underneath to plunder belly/breasts/biceps to bell.

R3: RIGHT HAND, CZJ! Jones walking Jen in and sneaking that short right missile onto chin...blonde legs give a shimmy as Catherine shows she's still got fight. Brawny job of work to reach under Jen's arms and chest her into ropes...Jones enjoying a solid minute of dominance atop Jen, bashing away breasts/biceps/head. Lawrence rallying, pitching back feisty rights and lefts off the ropes in second minute action...Jones forced to clinch and Jen wrestle-reverses older woman into ropes! Lawrence grinding away left-shoulder-in-tits, crowding close and pumping tummy - really cramming that right hand into Catherine's pampered gut. Jones grimacing underneath her curvy tormentress, but fighting well in spots - catching Jen the odd sneaky right uppercut inside; hooking Jen at the trunk-line; shrugging little right uppercuts into Jen's jugs in the clinch.

R4: Jen reaches under Catherine's arms early, chesting her big-girl into ropes, then gets to work. Short, blunt, clubbing rights and lefts in close - Jennifer battering Catherine's chest and biceps, beating apart the defences. Jones shabby, distraught...she's trying to tie up around Jen's elbows, but blonde girl won't have it - Lawrence writhing her limbs into the clear, bodying up to compress Catherine into ropes, then pushing off to continue shelling. Nothing fancy - Jen just being strong and young, putting her body on as necessary, pouring non-stop hurt onto an aging queen. Jones visibly shellshocked, frequently wrapping up Jen's left arm in both her own - giving Lawrence free rein to beat right hands short to ribs and left ear until ref's break. Lawrence constantly at her foe - bashing at the arms to leave Catherine numb and paralyzed; popping hips-right to rip wicked left hooks in behind brunette right elbow; bending in to chop vicious right-hand hacks into Catherine's left side lats. It's all too much...Catherine's head lolling, face agonized as she weakens...Jen just stacking and re-stacking the ragdoll weight of Jones into ropes, then processing the meat. Hard to watch - Jen putting a withering, "end of an era" type beatdown on Catherine, laying claim to those jugs; beating the ribs numb; thumping tummy. Jones wilting - slopping forward to absorb punches, then getting ragdolled upright into ropes as Jen resets. THAT'S IT! Ref moves in to cradle Catherine to safety, shielding her with his body from further Jennifer Lawrence predation. TKO4 in hamfisted fashion - Jennifer Lawrence.

AFter: Lawrence hard-eyed, unforgiving as people flood the ring and Catherine is guided to her stool...blonde girl obviously a vixen-on-a-mission tonight, handing Jones the worst beating of her career. "Told you she could dig in all she wanted," Jen shrugs in postfight, "eventually, the bulldozer's comin' on through! Could I have let her fall? Was I piling on? Maybe, but I didn't want her taking any sneaky 'veteran knees' to run the clock and maybe get herself together. Had to keep the pressure on - especially after what happened last time. You give Catherine Zeta Jones any wiggle room at all, and she'll snake right by you. No room for her tonight. None."