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31 March 2013 Ke$ha vs Katherine McPhee

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Kesha 03.jpg Katherine McPhee.jpg

"Fantastic Four at the Asylum" PPV. (Site: Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on March 31, 2013, 7:11 pm

BEFORE:

"Ke$ha's big and strong," says a smiling Katharine. "But, she's not particularly talented. And that makes her a perfect debut fight for K-Mac!"

"Yeah," says Ke$ha with a hint of a smile. "This is what happens. You lose a couple of fights and you're fighting curtain jerkers against reality show runners up. But, at least I can make Katharine comfortable out there. Because she's going to come out just where she usually does. Second best."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Touch Me' you hear over the sound system, and here comes the singer of that tune, Katharine McPhee..."

Tess: "AKA, K-Mac..."

McCarthy: "Do NOT call her K-Mac!"

Tess: "But, that's her nickname..."

McCarthy: "It is NOT her nickname!"

Tess: "She just said it!"

McCarthy: "I can call myself Pope but it doesn't mean I get to live in The Vatican..."

Tess: "You would spontaneously COMBUST upon stepping across the border into The Vatican..."

McCarthy: "Shut it, Walmart!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Drink up, boys. McPhee into the ring. Helped off with the robe to reveal a green and white striped number the fans like..."

McCarthy: "She'll win THIS disrobe based on lack of grunge alone..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'Tik-Tok' you hear, and here comes 'Six Feet Of Sexy', Ke$ha!"

Tess: "Ke$ha is one of the biggest lights in the FCBA. A full 5'10" and walks around about 135. Doesn't have trouble making light at this point, but Front Street sources tell me she may eventually have one foot in both the light and welter divisions like Decker, Ruah, and Perry..."

McCarthy: "The latter of which was MY idea! An idea STOLEN from me in Philadelphia just like those two fights with Campbell!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Ke$ha into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal the familiar navy blue number, and we're about ready. Tess on record as favoring Ke$ha. What do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Ke$ha is the typical overrated Dancing Hooker, but McPhee is full of herself. I think Ke$ha's going to knock her into next week!"

O'Dell: "There's the bell. And Ke$ha right after McPhee, looking to load up that big left hand right off the bell, swinging and missing, but forcing McPhee to retreat."

McCarthy: "Sloppy stuff from Ke$ha. She needs to get behind that jab and set this girl up instead of winging away like crazy..."

Tess: "NICE counter, McPhee..."

O'Dell: "And there's another! The brunette waiting on the blonde to go avoiding the shot and countering with solid stuff...ANOTHER good right. That one got Ke$ha a little wobbly..."

McCarthy: "Too much aggression from Big K. She's got to work to that big left. She ought to watch video of Adrianne Palicki and see how Wonder Woman does it...."

Tess: "I can't argue that a tall, rangy light with a lot of power shouldn't try to learn from Palicki, because she's as good as it gets."

McCarthy: "Every once in a while, you say something intelligent, Walmart..."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha getting touched up pretty well, ladies. McPhee timing her perfectly on the counter. Ke$ha unsteady as Kat scoring cleanly with that right over and over again right to the bell!"

McCarthy: "And McPhee clearly pleased with herself, bouncing back to the corner after winning her first FCBA round..."

Tess: "Always nice to get that 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Into the second now, and Ke$ha got a talking to in the corner between rounds and seems to have settled down. Working the right jab now, looking to drop the left off it."

McCarthy: "McPhee still effective on the counter, though. Looking for that left and banging the right over top of it. Katharine giving up a bit of reach here, but not as much as a lot of girls do to Ke$ha, and she's giving the blonde trouble from distance."

O'Dell: "This is a more patient Ke$ha, though. Lots of long right hands. And most of them are scoring. Going body a bit with the left now."

Tess: "McPhee answering downstairs. She's a big, strong girl herself and isn't afraid to mix it up with Ke$ha some."

O'Dell: "Good flurry there! Both girls landed some clean stuff, and both now go body as the final seconds tick off and we hear the bell."

Tess: "Closer, but still McPhee, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Absolutely. Much better round for Ke$ha, though."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Back to action now in the third, and Ke$ha right back to the jab. McPhee working past it now, getting inside and going body."

Tess: "Interesting change in tactics. Big K adjusting to the counter punching, and McPhee now pressuring."

McCarthy: "Showing some good foot and head movement working forward, too. Getting past that glove and banging away inside."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha willing to hook body if that's what McPhee wants to do. The blonde thumping heavy shot into her rival's flanks. McPhee fires right back and then works upstairs. Ke$ha tying up, shoving off, wants to work at range, but Kat's over that. Inside again and lathering those lats. Ke$ha hooking the ribs. Both ladies WHACKING leather off exposed skin!"

Tess: "Well, we all knew Ke$ha had heavy shot. We're finding out McPhee has it, too!"

O'Dell: "And another good exchange at the bell! And a defiant eye lock. Neither girl heading back to their corners until the ref chases them!"

McCarthy: "Both of them landed some good stuff, but McPhee got more work done. That's three in a row for the tyro."

Tess: 30-27. Nice lead. Ke$ha's got herself in a hole."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round underway and Ke$ha looking for the big left hand again. McPhee being forced backward as the big blonde swings away sloppy..."

McCarthy: "McPhee got under this kid's skin. You can't let that happen in the ring..."

Tess: "Truck, see if you can find some video of Mac losing it in the ring. Try ANY FCBA FIGHT SHE EVER HAD..."

McCarthy: "I lost my temper on PURPOSE! I used that stuff to fire me up and give me an edge! Oh, and, SHUT IT, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "As the boys drink up, the girls continue to fight, and Ke$ha sustaining the work rate, still a bit sloppy, but so busy that she's suppressing McPhee..."

Tess: "Kat spending all her time retreating and covering up. Unable to counter. Big K is forcing tempo. She's missing some, but she's scoring some, too."

O'Dell: "McPhee not able to get her feet set right now, and Ke$ha taking full advantage. Final seconds tick away to the bell, and Big K is on the board."

McCarthy: "39-37 through four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Into the fifth now and Ke$ha right back after McPhee. Looking to work that right hand, back the brunette up with that heavy jab, set her up for that big left..."

McCarthy: "McPhee not backing up this time. Not willing to give ground and go on the defensive."

O'Dell: "Good left hand, Ke$ha. Good right, Kat! The two big girls having at it in the middle of the ring. Neither will take a backward step, Mac!"

McCarthy: "Crowd getting into it as the girls trade big shots! McPhee a good right hook...Ke$ha with a hard left. Battle of wills right now, Jenny!"

O'Dell: "And neither girl can break the other's...LEFT HAND, KE$HA AND DOWN GOES MCPHEE!"

McCarthy: "Huge left hand!"

O'Dell: "Ke$ha to a neutral corner. Referee's count to four. Five. Six. Seven...McPhee to her feet. Gets the mandatory. And the ref waives Ke$ha forward. The blonde all over Katharine. Winging away! McPhee covering up, backing up, clinching, anything to run the last few seconds off the clock...and she does it. There's the bell ending the fifth, and it was a big round for Ke$ha, but Kat survives!"

Tess: "All even now on my card. 47 apiece."

McCarthy: "Anybody's fight through five."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Into the second half of a scheduled ten and Ke$ha looking for the finisher. McPhee looking to box now. Showing good head and shoulder movement. Moving the feet, showing angles."

McCarthy: "Another tactical change for the McPhee kid. She's gone from countering to standing and fighting and now to boxing, and she's showing she can do it."

O'Dell: "Good, slick stuff from McPhee, showing excellent hand speed and a lot of class right now."

McCarthy: "Ke$ha not able to land much. McPhee scoring with both hands, using the jab very well. Putting punches together. This kid is showing something in her first FCBA fight."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha all one punch right now. Looking for the big left, but not finding it. McPhee dictating tempo and pace, controlling things completely to the bell."

Tess: "Nice response from K-Mac. 57-56 McPhee through six."

McCarthy: "STOP CALLING HER K-MAC!"

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Seventh round underway and Big K looking to work behind that big right..."

Tess: "The Front Street Jab..."

McCarthy: "At least she waited until the seventh round..."

O'Dell: "She's finding the range with it now, backing McPhee up..."

Tess: "It's a heavy punch. She WILL stop you cold when she squares you up with it."

O'Dell: "And she's squaring up McPhee with it now...LEFT HAND AND DOWN GOES KATHERINE!"

McCarthy: "Set that up off the right. Maybe she saw some Palicki video between rounds..."

Tess: "Normally, I'd tell you how ridiculous that sounds. But, this is Wiz. I would not be shocked if he had the corners wired for video..."

O'Dell: "Referee's count at five. Six. Seven. Eight. McPhee to her feet. Takes the mandatory. Referee going to let it continue. Ke$ha wasting no time getting back after McPhee, HAMMERING that right jab home, forcing McPhee backward. Kat in a high guard, Ke$ha splits 'em with a right...HAMMER OF THOR! DOWN GOES MCPHEE! THE BIG OVERHAND LEFT!"

McCarthy: "The only reason to count here is to see if a Philly ref actually knows how to COUNT to ten..."

O'Dell: "McPhee flat on her back, unmoving. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's over! And your winner by KO7 is 'Six Feet Of Sexy', KE$HA!"

McCarthy: "Kid just needs proper training to be something special. With a left hand like that, she's NEVER out of a fight."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I've got our winner, Ke$ha, and, Big K, got to be nice to get a 'W' after a couple of tough losses..."

Ke$ha(smiling): "Winning isn't everything, but it beats the hell out of the alternative. Seriously, though, it was an important fight for me, because they ALL are. It's all about the work and the rounds for me, and about getting better every time I step through the ropes. And, anytime I can drop that big left on somebody, it makes my whole night. RUINS hers, but MAKES mine."