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31 March 2013 Jamie Lynn Spears vs Christina Ricci

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Jamie Lynn Spears 02.jpg Christina Ricci 10.jpg

"FANTASTIC FOUR AT THE ASYLUM" PPV

(Site: Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on March 31, 2013, 7:17 pm

BEFORE:

"Spears, Stewart, what's the difference?" asks Christina with a smile. "Neither of them can beat me. Then again 'Conqueror Of The Spears Family' has a ring to it."

Jamie Lynn looks into the camera, takes a deep breath, then simply shakes her head and drops the microphone. Walking off without a word.

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and the familiar strains of 'Follow Me' ringing out, and here comes 'The Princess', Jamie Lynn Spears. Got to be a lot on those shoulders tonight, as she comes back from an enforced layoff, looking to slay some demons..."

McCarthy: "She's being led to the ring by Britney, as usual. What's unusual is the lack of bounce in the step of Spears The Younger. Just a slow walk, looking at the floor."

Tess: "Concentration, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Could be. Some fighters like to block everything out on the way down, and this is one way to do that."

O'Dell: "Spears into the ring. Helped off with the robe to reveal the familiar pink bikini. And look at THIS. Britney hopping down to take a front row seat. Jewel and Neve Campbell will handle the corner!"

McCarthy: "Typical bonehead move from Weirdo! Campbell knows NOTHING about boxing!"

Tess: "Hey, Jenny O, did you get your invitation to the annual Hall Of Fame banquet? Neve told me she got HERS the other day..."

O'Dell: "Got it and sent back the RSVP!"

Tess: "Checked your mail lately, Mac?"

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "And, while you drink up, boys, that's 'The Underdog', by Spoon, one of the favorite bands of the lady coming to the ring right now, a two time FCBA Champion, Christina Ricci!"

Tess: "Christina is NOT the underdog here tonight..."

O'Dell: "Ricci, of course, representing the Odds and Ends stable, climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe to reveal a nice black number. Ladies about ready to go, and, Mac, Tess on record favoring Ricci..."

McCarthy: "For ONCE, Walmart is right. Spears has plenty of talent, but she's poorly trained and is a mess as a result. Ricci will beat her and then maybe Weirdo will release her and she can go somewhere else and get help from a REAL trainer!"

O'Dell: "There's the bell and here we go. And Christina right across the ring like a juggernaut and all over Jamie Lynn. Ricci driving Spears backward with a hail of leather, forcing her to cover up and stacking her up against the ropes!"

McCarthy: "Ridiculous! This kid is four inches TALLER than Ricci and has a TON of reach! How do you let her charge you like that! She's also stronger and heavier! Don't STAND there. WRESTLE your way off the ropes!"

O'Dell: "Spears in a high guard, just covering up as Ricci bangs away..AND DOWN GOES JAMIE LYNN AFTER A RIGHT HOOK!"

McCarthy: "PaTHETic!"

O'Dell: "Spears on her right shoulder, parallel to the ropes. Ricci matter-of-factly to a neutral corner. Referee's count to four. Five. Six. Jamie Lynn pulls herself to her knees and now to a sitting position along the ropes. Eight. Nine. TEN! IT'S OVER! 1:06 of the first round! Your winner by KO1, Christina Ricci!"

Tess: "Jamie Lynn didn't land a punch..."

McCarthy: "Would have been hard to do, since she didn't THROW one!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I'm with our winner Christina Ricci, and, Chris, not much to say about this one..."

Christina: "'Conqueror of the Spears Family'! Has a ring to it! Let's get the t-shirts made! Chrissy R has management. Look out flyweight division! Look out!"