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31 March 2013 Anne Hathaway vs Katy Perry

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Anne Hathaway 04.jpg Katy Perry.jpg

"FANTASTIC FOUR AT THE ASYLUM" PPV.

(Site: Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on March 31, 2013, 7:19 pm

BEFORE:

"We all know what happened the first time," says a hard-eyed Katy. "She put me in a tail spin. Well, that was a long time ago. I'm a different fighter now. But. Don't get me wrong. SOMEone's going down in flames tonight. It's just not going to be me."

"The mistake Katy is making," says Anne with a hint of a smile, "Is in thinking the last time was a fluke. It wasn't. The truth is, I'm BETTER. Then, now, and ten years from now. As Katy's about to find out."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and the crowd popping as 'California Gurls' booms through the arena, and that can only mean the arrival of 'The Santa Barbara Slugger', Katy Perry, is imminent."

Tess: "Of course, the big story surrounding Katy is that she'll be working some at welter..."

McCarthy: "Which was MY idea!"

Tess: "However, tonight's fight will be at lightweight."

O'Dell: "Perry into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that red bikini the boys in the crowd like..."

Tess: "Hef would open the VAULTS to get THAT body in 'Playboy'..."

McCarthy: "As I said once before tonight, Playmate of the MONTH material. But not Playmate of the YEAR..."

Tess: "And that's the rolling of my eyes you hear again fans..."

O'Dell: "And NOW you're hearing 'Somebody To Love', by the lovely lady making her way to the ring, Anne Hathaway..."

McCarthy: "Grace Slick is rolling in her grave..."

Tess: "Grace Slick is ALIVE!"

McCarthy: "Are you sure? She was a 60s rock star...I just assumed..."

Tess: "So was Keith Richards, and, remarkably, he's ALSO still alive..."

O'Dell: "If we could return to the FCBA for a moment, Hathaway, who, of course, represents Mirage Boxing, climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe to reveal a cobalt blue number, and, the ladies are about ready to go. Tess going with Katy. What do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "One of the rules of betting on horses is not to pick a horse to do something it's never done before. Perry hasn't beaten Hathaway before, but Anne HAS beaten Katy. I'm going with Hathaway..."

Tess: "Speaking of horses, Wiz still has one named Jenny McCarthy..."

O'Dell: "I'd forgotten about that storyline..."

Tess: "I hear she's a little 'long in tooth', kind of like..."

McCarthy: "Wallllmarrrtttt..."

O'Dell: "Bell! There's the bell. And Katy wasting no time getting after Anne. Katy lands a solid right and then another. Anne backing and circling, wanting no parts of slugging with Perry."

McCarthy: "Katy not at all hesistant to engage here. That's something you worry about in a rematch when a fighter got knocked out in the first contest."

O'Dell: "But, as you said, Mac, no concern with Perry as she's right at Hathaway again...AND DOWN GOES ANNE AFTER A SHORT LEFT HOOK!"

McCarthy: "Nasty little punch! Those short ones sometimes don't look like much, but they can be devastating."

O'Dell: "Perry to a neutral corner. Referee picks the count up at three. Four. Five. Six. Anne to her feet at seven. She takes the mandatory and the referee waives Katy forward. Perry damning the torpedoes..."

McCarthy: "You know that was Admiral Farragut, not Commodore Perry, right?"

Tess: "Hang on fans. I suspect there's about to be a big explosion and then an eternity of nothing, because the world HAS to be about to END..."

McCarthy: "Shut UP, Walmart..."

O'Dell: "Meanwhile, back in the ring, as the fans drink up, Katy is chasing, looking for the off switch. Anne in retreat, covering up, trying to jab for space, but Perry's just walking through those lefts. Katy not hurrying. Digging body now, thumping leather into those flanks and ribs."

McCarthy: "Hathaway keeping the guard high, exposing that body, and Katy's taking a heaping helping of it..."

Tess: "And normalcy is restored in the space-time continuum as Mac quotes the theme song from 'The Beverly Hillbillies..."

McCarthy: "WALMARRTTT..."

O'Dell: "Perry with a BLISTERING combination to the head that rocks Anne! Hathaway stumbling backward into the ropes and Katy back to the body for the final seconds of the round. There's the bell and Perry out to the early lead!"

Tess: "10-8 after one. Great start for Katy."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round begins with Katy all about the offense. Perry stepping to Anne and banging away with hard shots to the head and body. Hathaway trying again to jab for space, but Katy's having none of it. Perry walking through Anne's gloves and hammering away to the body."

McCarthy: "Anne getting smothered right now. Strange to say this, since she won by an early KO last time, but she's got to punch for respect, because she's not getting any. If she can get some space, she can win this fight. Hathaway's a good boxer with some power."

O'Dell: "But Katy is boring in and slugging away. Anne backing up, working hard to stay off the ropes and managing to do it. Snapping out that jab, trying to drop in the odd right, but Perry shrugging it all off and continuing the attack. Hathaway's corner telling her to move, circle, but Perry's athletic as all get out, and she's using those good feet to cut Hathaway off, line her up, and ship home some leather."

McCarthy: "Anne HAS to change the complexion of what's going on here. Katy is absolutely dictating in there, and Anne isn't going to like the results if this continues."

O'Dell: "Perry patiently, persistently aggressive. Continuing to pressure and slug away right to the bell. Another dominating round for Katy."

Tess: "And a 20-17 edge after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round underway now and Perry again after Hathaway. Anne lands a combination, her best punches of the fight, but Katy fires right back with a solid left hook that sends Anne circling away. Katy cutting Hathaway off, landing a good straight left, hooking the body with the right. Hathaway fires back...OH, AND SHE'S POLEAXED! PERRY WITH A VICIOUS RIGHT HAND AND ANNE RAGDOLLS TO THE MAT, CRASHING ON HER RIGHT SIDE AND FLOPPING TO HER BACK!"

McCarthy: "Referee can close his eyes and count to a hundred like a kid playing hide and seek, and Hathaway STILL won't be on her feet."

O'Dell: "Count is five. Six. Seven. Anne still unmoving. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's over! And your winner by KO3, in crashing fashion, 'The Santa Barbara Slugger' Katy Perry!"

McCarthy: "Check the replay on this and see WHY Anne is still down on the mat. Watch Katy hook the belly with the left hand. Anne starts to crouch a little as a result and Katy BLASTS the right over her left glove into her chin. Look at the head swivel! Hathaway is completely out the instant after that glove hits."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I'm with our winner, Katy Perry, and, Katy your little revenge tour is going pretty well..."

Katy: "Like I said, Tess, I'm a different fighter than I was back then. I've learned some things, things I'm putting to good use getting some back from these girls who got theirs when I was struggling."

Tess: "There would seem to be one name left from that losing streak...the woman who started it...Hurley. Is she next or will it be a welter?"

Katy: "That's up to my management. I don't worry about stuff like that. I just climb in here and do damage to whomever's across the ring."