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1 April 2013 Tractorpull Asylum PPV Review

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Posted by Tractorpull Magazine on April 1, 2013, 9:16 am.

Tess Valmore aka La Tessiere, Le Caliente

KE$HA/ McPHEE I didn’t think McPhee would last five rounds. She put on a better performance than I expected. She used effective counter punching to take the first three rounds from a sloppy Ke$ha. Ke$ha continued her wild swinging in the fourth, but managed to take the round. In the fifth, Ke$ha landed one of those swings and put McPhee on the canvas for an eight count, McPhee was still ahead on the cards at the end of six, but her dreams of victory ended in the seventh, when she went down from a Ke$ha left. McPhee got up only to run into a right-left and went down again, this time for the full count

GRETZKY/ SWAN This was Gretzky’s first fight. Her mother, a former FCBA champion Janet Jones was in her corner. You have to wonder why her management chose Swan for her first bout. Didn’t seem like a good choice before the fight and proved not to be a good choice after the fight. The fight lasted five rounds. Of the five rounds, Gretzky managed to take exactly none. Her night ended in the fifth when Swan staggered her with a right and finished her off with another right hook. Gretzky’s management can say at least she was competitive, but the goal of this sport is to win. Being competitive can lead to a world of hurt.

STEWART/ BECKHAM Stewart is 16 years younger than Beckham, taller and has five times the experience. Does that tell you the way this fight was supposed to go? Well it went as it was supposed to. Stewart took the first five rounds, pitching shutouts in the third through the fifth. In the sixth, Beckham shocked the crowd by flooring Stewart. That got Stewart fired up in the seventh. She hurt Beckham with a right and then hammered her along the ropes until the referee stopped the fight, awarding Stewart a TKO 7

PINK/ MORRISON Morrison came into this fight with a 3-7 record. All her wins were upsets over good fighters. Pink came into the bout with a 15-1 record and on a fifteen bout win streak. Chalk up another upset for Morrison. She hurt Pink in the second. decked her in the third and finished her in the fourth. Apparently Pink hadn’t recovered from the third round knockdown as she begun the fourth, and Morrison unleashed a flurry of punches that had Pink virtually helpless and the fight was stopped. An impressive performance from Morrison

RICCI/ JAMIEN LYNN SPEARS. I said in my predictions, that this was a big fight for Spears. I think she has head problems and needed to win this fight. Well, if she had head problems before the fight she certainly has them now. She lasted only 1:06 as a right hand put her on the canvas for the count. it’s true that even the great fighters get caught once in a while, re Theron/ Moore, but Jamie Lynn didn’t even land a punch as Ricci was all over her from the opening bell. I think Jamie Lynn is one of the Wiz’s favorites and he believes in her. The question is, does Jamie Lynn believe in herself

HATHAWAY/ PERRY This was the final fight of the night. Thus far every fight ended in a KO. It was reasonable to think this fight wouldn’t go to a decision either. If you bet it would end early, collect your money. It lasted longer than the Spears fight but not by much. Perry floored Hathaway in the first and dictated the second. In the third a huge right hand left Hathaway senseless on the canvas. The fight lasted about seven minutes or about the time it takes the Wiz to suck a couple cans of PBR dry

I would like to thank my cohorts on broadcast team, the head honcho, Jenny O”Dell and Miss” greatest everything” Jenny Mac for another fun evening. Note Mac, I said nice things about you so how about laying off on me on the next “Jenny Mac Talking Smack”