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28 April 2013 Kat Dennings vs Jamie Lynn Sigler

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Kat Dennings 01.jpg Jamie Lynn Sigler 2.jpg

"IFFI Rampant Lionesses at the Asylum" PPV

(Site: The Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on April 28, 2013, 7:12 pm

BEFORE:

"I'm every bit as good as Dennings," says a hard-eyed Jamie-Lynn. "The only difference is, someone's giving HER a chance. Something no one ever gave to ME. Well, tonight I'm going to prove I deserve one!"

"I keep hearing about how Jamie-Lynn can give me trouble," says Kat with a shake of the head. "Well, maybe she can. But. Here's the thing. She can go down easy, or she can go down hard, but, either way, she's going down."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and that song is 'Woke Up This Morning' by Alabama 3, which most fans, I'm sure, recognize as the theme song from 'The Sopranos', and here comes one of the stars of that iconic series, Jamie-Lynn Sigler!"

McCarthy: "I remember her! Her character had a silly name. 'Field' or something like that..."

Tess: "Meadow..."

McCarthy: "No, that's not it...Orchard? Lake?"

O'Dell(sighing): "Sigler into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a gold bikini and a rockin' bod that the guys in the audience appreciate. And that's 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' by Scissor Sisters and here comes Kat Dennings!"

Tess: "Kat, of course, a protege of Hall of Famer Neve Campbell..."

McCarthy: "Rock? Stone? Pebbles?"

O'Dell: "Dennings into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Jewel and Britney to reveal that black number that shows off her considerable assets to excellent effect, if the crowd's reaction is any indication..."

McCarthy: "Mountain? Hill? Valley?"

O'Dell: "Aaannnddd we're about ready to go, so let's get some picks. Tess on record as favoring Dennings, what do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "I agree with Walmart that Sigler can give Dennings trouble. But, she hasn't been in an FCBA ring in years, so you have to favor Kat..."

O'Dell: "There's the bell and here we go. Kat right after Jamie-Lynn, letting some heavy leather fly, but Sigler, dodging, blocking, countering. Jamie-Lynn giving a little ground, landing a jab, steps right, avoids a right hand, lands a solid counter."

McCarthy: "Watched a lot of video of Sigler and she gives off a Love Hewitt vibe. Very methodical puncher. Not dynamic, but she's got some power and she's technically sound."

O'Dell: "And using that methodical approach to excellent effect right now. Dennings pressuring, but a bit sloppy, a little wild. Sigler able to avoid most of the shell and score in counter..."

Tess: "Wonder how much not having Neve in the corner is going to affect Kat. Nothing against Jewel and Britney, who, obviously, know what they're doing..."

McCarthy: "Only compared to Campbell, who's CLUELESS..."

Tess: "But, Neve knows how to get through to Kat pretty quickly. Not sure if the other trainers can do so as easily..."

O'Dell: "Dennings clearly working hard as the final seconds tick off, but Sigler still having the better of it, making Kat miss and countering very well to the bell. Jamie-Lynn with the early lead..."

McCarthy: "Tree? Bush?Shrub?"

Tess: "10-9 Sigler after one."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Into the second and Kat's right back at Sigler, but Jamie-Lynn continuing to show angles, not allowing Dennings to square her up."

McCarthy: "Dennings needs to move her feet more. This is straight ahead stuff from her. Sigler's able to side step, avoid Kat's right, and place shots of her own."

Tess: "Jamie-Lynn very patient, isn't she, Mac?"

McCarthy: "And that's the key for her against a girl like Dennings, who can be reckless. Take your time. Use the openings she gives you. Take your points."

O'Dell: "Dennings managing an occasional right, but she's landing a very low percentage at this point. Jamie-Lynn firing a lot less shot, but she's landing a good deal of it..."

McCarthy: "Stick? Leaf? Flower?"

Tess: "Kat loading up too much right now, I think. Needs to settle down and fight, instead of trying to land the big one..."

O'Dell: "That may be something that gets discussed between rounds, Tess. Meanwhile, the waning seconds of the second tick away with Sigler patiently scoring to the bell."

Tess: "Good start for Jamie-Lynn. 20-18 through two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Round three begins with more aggression from Dennings. Kat continuing with volume, but Sigler again slipping, blocking, angling, and countering."

McCarthy: "Dennings needs to tighten up. She needs to set punches up, use that jab. She's landing some and she's plenty busy, but, and circle this day on the calendar, Walmart is right, she's spending too much time looking for the big shot. She needs to get to work."

O'Dell: "Right now, it's Sigler doing the work, fighting her fight. Methodical. Patient. Angling. Moving her feet. Waiting for those openings and taking advantage. Not doing much damage, but she's scoring plenty."

McCarthy: "Robin? Sparrow? Lark?"

Tess: "Are we still ON that?"

O'Dell: "Dennings with a good right hand. Sigler pops a jab, steps right, avoids a hook, counters with a straight right. Got to say, ladies, I'm impressed with Jamie-Lynn so far..."

Tess: "She's fighting her fight, doing what she needs to do to win."

O'Dell: "And she's got a good start on it. Good exchange at the bell with both ladies landing, but no question who got the better of the round."

Tess: "And Sigler's put Dennings in a 30-27 hole after three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round underway and a BLISTERING exchange right off the bell! Dennings landed a couple of good shots there and Sigler fired right back!"

McCarthy: "Kat trying to turn the heat up even higher, Jenny, but Jamie-Lynn not backing down."

O'Dell: "Dennings another big right and Sigler counters with a flurry! Fans getting into it now as a pitched battle is developing in the middle of the ring!"

McCarthy: "This is more of what Dennings wants, but Jamie-Lynn showing she can fight this style, too."

O'Dell: "Sigler a right, Dennings a BIG flurry. Backs Jamie-Lynn up for the first time!"

Tess: "Kat starting to impose her will. She's squaring Sigler up for the first time all night, landing solid and now forcing Jamie-Lynn to give ground."

O'Dell: "Sigler making her pay a price for every inch of canvas. Firing back with heavy shot of her own, but it's Dennings on the offensive right to the bell, and Kat has her first round of the night!"

McCarthy: "Eagle? Hawk? Dove?"

Tess: "39-37 now. Jamie-Lynn still in the lead."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth round begins with Dennings in high gear, but Jamie-Lynn again able to slip and dip, duck, dodge and counter."

McCarthy: "Kat's back to going straight forward, throwing sloppy from poor position. Sigler angling her and countering, just like in the first three rounds. Kid has to move her FEET."

O'Dell: "Sigler doing plenty of that. No Scherzinger speed or bendiness on display, just good positioning and lots of patience. Not forcing anything. Letting Dennings get off, avoiding most of the shot, rthen placing good counters."

Tess: "Kat keeping the pressure on, though. Not getting frustrated. But, she's definitely spending too much time looking for the big shot."

O'Dell: "Dennings misses a right, Sigler with a left-right counter. Kat hooks the body...AND KNOCKS JAMIE-LYNN FLAT WITH A RIGHT HAND! DOWN GOES SIGLER!"

Tess: "That's the punch she was looking for, the straight right. Finally landed it!"

O'Dell: "Dennings to a neutral corner. Referee's count at four, five, six, seven. Sigler to her feet at eight. Takes the mandatory. Referee going to allow it to continue and on comes Kat, banging away as Sigler retreats to the ropes and covers up...and there's the bell!"

Tess: "Knockdown came too late for a clean up, but it stole the round for Kat. And, at 10-8 it evened the fight at 47 after five!"

McCarthy: "Pelican? Heron? Cormorant?"

Tess: "Do you realize you've been naming random birds for three rounds???"

McCarthy: "Cardinal? Osprey? Condor?"

Tess: "Yes, her name was CONDOR..."

McCarthy: "I KNEW I'd get it!"

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth round begins and Dennings is ALL OVER Sigler! Kat hammering away and having no trouble landing now!"

McCarthy: "Sigler still doesn't have her legs back..."

O'Dell: "And Kat taking full advantage! Dennings POUNDING Jamie-Lynn back to the ropes...RIGHT HOOK AND DOWN SHE GOES!"

McCarthy: "Short right behind the left glove! Bounced Sigler off the ropes to her knees..."

O'Dell: "Dennings bouncing to a neutral corner as the referee begins his count. Sigler wraps an arm around the middle rope, uses it to steady herself, gets to her feet at seven. Referee giving the mandatory, looking closely at Jamie-Lynn as he does so. Going to let it continue. Dennings wasting no time getting to work. Lands a solid right that sends Jamie-Lynn stumbling back into the ropes..."

McCarthy: "Stop it, ref..."

O'Dell: "And Dennings letting the hands go! Sigler in a high guard and Kat battering away at her gloves, buffeting her head side to side, SNAPS THE HEAD BACK WITH A RIGHT THAT WOBBLES THE KNEES AND IT'S OVER! REFEREE HAS SEEN ENOUGH AND WAIVES IT OFF!"

McCarthy: "Not a minute too soon..."

O'Dell: "And your winner by TKO6 is Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Kat Dennings, and, Kat, you said Jamie-Lynn was going down, hard or easy..."

Kat(smiling): "And it was HARD. She can fight. And she gave me some trouble. But, sooner or later, I knew I'd get her and...GET HER OUT OF HERE! DON'T YOU GET IN THIS RING..."

O'Dell: "Truck, get a camera on Kendra Wilkinson climbing into the ring..."

McCarthy: "Get the camera OFF her..."

Kat: "GET OUT OF THIS RING, TRAMP..."

O'Dell: "Stay HERE, Mac..."

Tess: "Now, calm down, Kat..."

Kendra: "Yes, calm down, Kat, and tell all your fans how you DUCKED me on pay-per-view..."

Kat: "DUCKED YOU! WE ACCEPTED THAT CHALLENGE..."

Kendra: "And, yet, mysteriously, that fight DIDN'T make the cut. Wonder why?"

Kat: "Maybe because YOU aren't a big enough STAR to get a spot on the card, D-LIST!"

Kendra: "THAT'S IT..."

O'Dell: "And it's ON! Wilkinson and Dennings trading in the middle of the ring! Here come Britney and Jewel to help Tess break it up! MAC, STAY HERE! Wilkinson and Dennings being pulled apart, still trying to get at one another...AND MAC IS IN THE RING AND SHE SPINS KENDRA AROUND AND KNOCKS HER FLAT WITH A RIGHT HAND! A QUICK STAREDOWN AT KENDRA'S KNOCKED OUT BODY AND SHE CLIMBS BACK DOWN! GET OVER HERE, MAC!"

McCarthy(slightly out of breath): "Somebody had to go bail Walmart out..."

O'Dell: "The Front Street corner leading Kat back to the locker room. Wilkinson KFTOed on the canvas...pandemonium! We'll be back..."