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28 April 2013 Charlotte Church vs Allison Mack

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Charlotte Church 03.jpg Allison Mack.jpg

"IFFI Rampant Lionesses at the Asylum" PPV

(Site: The Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on April 28, 2013, 7:14 pm,

BEFORE:

"This is a huge opportunity for me," says Charlotte. "I know my being on the American roster is considered a temporary thing. I'm here because someone else failed. Well, I've got this spot now, and I'm going to use it to make things VERY difficult on anyone thinking of taking it away from me."

"This girl is a lot better than she's given credit for," says Allison. "No, she hasn't won an FCBA fight. But, look at the schedule she's played. Jewel. Scarjo. Gemma. Britney. There haven't been any easy outs for her. Unfortunately for Charlotte, she's not getting one tonight either. No matter what pitch she throws, Mack The Knife IS going to square it up and plant it in the seats."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside where the detritus from the mess at the end of the last fight has been swept away..."

McCarthy: "If you mean Wilkinson, she walked out under her own power. After a few minutes..."

O'Dell: "And that song you hear is 'Crazy Chick', rather appropriate after what we just saw, and here comes the singer of said tune, the gorgeous Charlotte Church!"

McCarthy: "Church is a typical Front Street opponent. No FCBA wins. More cannon fodder for the Dancing Hookers."

O'Dell: "Charlotte representing LCA tonight. On the American roster as a replacement for Eva Mendes, who's on a bit of a vacation..."

McCarthy: "And, the way she's been fighting, the vacation OUGHT to be permanent. She's past it and needs to retire now. It's too late for her to go out on TOP like Mac The Knife did, but she needs to stop embarrassing herself."
You're being awfully quiet, Walmart..."

Tess: "Because, like Jack Buck, I don't believe what I just SAW. That was a MEAN right hand, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Thanks for getting the arena crew to get some ice down here. It's a little sore..."

Tess: "No problem, Mac..."

O'Dell: "Charlotte helped off with the robe to reveal a sky blue and light pink number that shows off a rocking body..."

McCarthy: "She DOES fill that thing out pretty well."

Tess: "And that's high praise coming from you, Mac..."

Oh the shark, babe
Has such teeth, dear

McCarthy: "UNbelievable!"

O'Dell: "And that, of course, is Bobby Darin's version of 'Mack The Knife'..."

McCarthy: "Which is MY song!"

Tess: "I'm curious as to why you haven't sued yet..."

McCarthy: "Because my whimp of an attorney says Weirdo OWNS the song and I don't have a case! He says he won't represent me! But, I've got a mind to sue ANYway and act as my OWN attorney..."

Tess: "And 'Court TV' will sell the rights to that sucker to Comedy Central for about a BILLION dollars..."

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Aaaanndd the Earth returns to its normal axis. Drink up, boys, as Allison climbs into the ring in the familiar black robe with the gleaming silver knife dripping a single drop of blood on it, the words 'Mack The Knife' across the shoulders. She's helped off with it by Jewel and Britney to reveal a blood red bikini..."

McCarthy: "THERE'S a body that's never getting in Playboy..."

Tess: "Actually, I think her picture's already been in it. Remember that pictorial the magazine did on 'The Gauntlet'? Wasn't there one of her knocking you out?"

McCarthy: "WHAT? There better not have...SIRI, GET MY AGENT ON THE PHONE!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Is it a bad thing that I keep hoping I took peyote and none of this is real? I'll have to ask my therapist. Meanwhile, we're about ready to go, so it's time for picks. Tess on the record as favoring Allison. What do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "DID YOU JUST HIT THE 'F-U BUTTON' ON ME YOU WORTHLESS... YOU'D BETTER CALL ME BACK YESTERDAY OR YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHY A CLIENT! SIRI, HANG UP ON HIM!"

O'Dell(sighing): "I'm going to need to start seeing the doctor more than once a week..."

Tess: "Mac, Jenny's asking for your pick..."

McCarthy: "I haven't decided on a new agent yet..."

O'Dell: "I mean in the fight..."

McCarthy: "Oh, THAT. Well, Mack is the typical overrated Dancing Hooker, but, like I said, Church doesn't have an FCBA win. You have to favor that phony Mack, but I wouldn't be shocked if Charlotte knocks her overrated butt OUT."

O'Dell: "Let's find out. There's the bell and Church aggressive early, using the left jab nicely, then follow on right hands. Allison on the defensive, patient, looking for some openings."

McCarthy: "Church has power, so that's what Phony Allison's being careful of. Mack The Fake Knife doesn't figure Charlotte's going to win on points, so she's willing to let Church fight lead."

O'Dell: "Mack now finding the range in counter, backing Church up a step with a nice combination. Charlotte jabs back, but Mack slips it and hooks the body. Allison getting busy now, slowly taking control in there..."

Tess: "This is what Mack does well. She's very balanced, very patient, doesn't get caught up in trading, very good, sound stuff, and she's using it to good effect here."

O'Dell: "Most certainly is. Mack in firm control in the waning seconds, makes up the early stagger to comfortably take the first."

Tess: "10-9 Allison after one."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Into the second now, and Mack back to work. Crowding Charlotte, working body, then going upstairs. Very busy. Very methodical."

Tess: "She's taking charge, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Church too defensive right now. She's letting Allison control tempo, get her work in. She needs to get busy. Fire some shot of her own."

O'Dell: "Easier said than done right now, as Allison's suppressing her offense. Mack flurries, forces Church back, waits for Charlotte to reset, then let's 'em go again. Church being held to single counters here and there...AND SHE LANDS A BIG RIGHT HAND! MACK WOBBLED!"

McCarthy: "That's what I'm saying! She has to take chances! Caught the Phony with a short right hook and now Charlotte's got her hurt late!"

O'Dell: "Church going all in here, looking to channel Jennifer Morrison. Mack backed up, with her guard high, as Charlotte gets off with heavy hands. Allison countering some, not allowing a complete jail break, but Church in total command at the bell, steals it with late power!"

Tess: "And what looked like a 20-18 lead for Mack less than a minute ago, has suddenly become all even at 19!"

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Into the third and Charlotte right back after Allison. Mack willing to give ground and go on the defensive for the moment. Church putting punches together the best she has so far during this bout. Mack working counter, letting Charlotte fight lead again."

McCarthy: "May not trust the legs completely right now..."

Tess: "And may have learned a lesson from the Morrison fight. Being patient right here. Not going to let Church steal this thing."

O'Dell: "Charlotte now looking very comfortable. Using the left hand very well. Getting off in combination. Mack content to counter and take points where she can get them."

McCarthy: "Give Church credit for settling in. She's not out there buzzsawing, throwing everything in for a knockout. She's working hard and outworking Mack."

O'Dell: "Final seconds tick off the clock in the third, and Charlotte Church has the round and the lead."

Tess: "29-28 Church, and her confidence has to be rising, Mac..."

McCarthy: "No question about it."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round underway and it's Church right back to the offensive. Charlotte very busy, backing up Mack and...DOWN GOES CHURCH! RIGHT HOOK FROM ALLISON AND CHURCH FLAT ON HER BACK!"

Tess: "Walked her right into it."

O'Dell: "Mack to a neutral corner. Referee's count at four, five, six, seven. Church up at eight. Takes the mandatory. Referee waives Mack forward, and Allison goes to work on the body..."

Tess: "Church in a high guard, wobbly legged, Allison's going to take the easy target..."

O'Dell: "And she is PUNISHING that gorgeous body. Hammering away at the lats and abs, hooking those ribs, bending Charlotte over, then splitting the gloves with a nasty left uppercut! Church wobbly and hurt against the ropes. Mack patiently cleaning up. Working downstairs mostly, snapping the head to the side with an occasional hook against the high gloves."

Tess: "In no hurry to get a stoppage. Wants to consolidate right now."

O'Dell: "And that's just what she's doing, methodically punishing Church as the final seconds tick off. There's the bell and Charlotte has to be happy to hear it. Big round for Allison!"

Tess: "10-8, Mack, and she's back on the lead, 38-37."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth round begins and the ladies going right after one another, trading bombs in the middle of the ring!!"

McCarthy: "Church wants to show Mack she's not backing down after that knock down..."

Tess: " And Allison wants to follow up on the fourth..."

O'Dell: "And she DOES! Mack ROCKS Church with a right hand! Charlotte staggered, covering up as Allison goes to work..."

Tess: "Right hook again! Church's knees did a shimmy. Did well to stay on her feet!"

O'Dell: "And Mack trying to correct that right now. Allison all OVER Charlotte, hammering away, backing her into the ropes. Church covering up and clinching, trying to buy time."

Tess: "Allison going right back to the body, banging free of the clinches, punishing Charlotte for that high guard."

O'Dell: "Church shoves free, gets off the ropes, seems to have the legs back now. She's giving ground, though, using the jab to try to create space. Fighting very defensively as Mack works in close and goes body again and again..."

Tess: "Charlotte a little spooked, Mac?"

McCarthy: "I think she is, Walmart. Fighting very defensively right now."

O'Dell: "And Allison taking full advantage, piling up the points and piling on the hurt right to the bell for the shutout."

Tess: "And Allison extends the lead to 48-46 through five."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth round begins with Mack stalking Church. Charlotte giving ground, jabbing for space. Mack patient, working forward, cutting the ring, working out of a three-quarter crouch with her gloves high."

McCarthy: "Church needs to stand her ground. She can't win this fight running..."

O'Dell: "Charlotte jabbing, circling back, Mack in pursuit...RIGHT UPPERCUT AND DOWN GOES CHURCH!"

McCarthy: "Forget about it. This is over."

O'Dell: "Church spilled right to her back by that uppercut that saw Mack spring up from that crouch behind it. Allison in a neutral corner. Count at five. Six. Church not moving..."

McCarthy: "Doing her best Wilkinson impression..."

O'Dell: "Nine. TEN! IT'S OVER! And your winner by KO6 is Allison 'Mack The Knife' Mack!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I've got our winner, Allison Mack, and, Allison, Charlotte was pretty game tonight..."

Allison: "VERY. And she can HIT. I kept hearing about her not having an FCBA win and all that. Well, there are a LOT of girls in this division she can beat. Mack The Knife isn't one of them, that's all."