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11 May 2013 Jessica Biel vs Adrianne Palicki

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 8 months ago

Jessica Biel 17.jpg Adrianne Palicki 07.jpg

Posted by simguy on May 11, 2013, 9:40 am

BEFORE: "There's a lot of hype baked into the Biel brand these days," Adrianne smirks in prefight. "She's a good fighter - electrifying at times - but she's very, very beatable. I feel like I'm a player in Hollywood now and I don't have to kowtow to anyone. Look at how I pushed Rachel Nichols out of GI Joe...that's me spreading my wings and starting to take over. Jess Biel is just going to have to accept me as an equal in and out of the ring now. If she doesn't, I'll make her!"

Biel grumpy and frowning at Adrianne's surging confidence, but GI Joe IS a good get for Pallicki. "I hate it, but it's a fact that girls do have to be reminded of their proper station in life," Biel says at podium. "Adrianne's feeling her oats - I get that. She's rangy-strong and starting to get noticed, so she feels like this is her time to shine, but its not. It's STILL my time. It's still ALL ABOUT Jessi Biel. I haven't gone anywhere. I'm still right here, standing in the way of Pallicki and girls like her as the best fighting female celebrity on the planet!"

Burgundy sport-top for Biel; tight black boy-leg shorts; small black gloves; long brown hair in slick low pony. Pallicki in black sport top; tight crimson boy-leg shorts; small black gloves; black hair back in slick low pony.

During R1: Biel bouncing in and out, employing feints, then directing her attack to Pallicki's ribs/waist. Pallicki upright, looking to get the jab on Jess, but Adrianne's flinching early - spooked by Biel's kinetic assault. Leads to a variety of belting single-shot scores for Biel: sweeping rights wide to lats; stiff jabs belly and breasts; hooks off feints, startling Adrianne to chin, putting her on her heels. Pallicki unhurt, but stung at several points...Biel at her springy, ballistic best in a shutout first.

R2: Biel continues her slashing in-out attacks, but Adrianne's getting the jab dialed in...Pallicki gradually bringing Jessica to heel with stiff, strong poke. Midway through, jabs pre-empt Jessi's pounce, leaving her stranded in no-man's land: follow-on right cross from Pallicki CRASHES through the chin...Jessica wanders away spellbound to her right, then FLOPS TO HAUNCHES AND HANDS! Delayed effect puts Biel down...Pallicki grinning, nodding cocky en-route to neutral corner. Resume...Pallicki stalks Jessica along ropes - touching her the long jab; leaning in righty; cleaning up whip-snappy left uppercuts TART against Jessi's belly/ribs underneath. Biel grimacing, sliding to her left, just riding this out...she's a scowling vixen on the stomp-back to her corner.

R3: Helter-skelter action as Adrianne bends into rangy one-twos, intent on finishing: Biel in closed stance, feet wide, hands down as she tries to coax Pallicki to over-reach. Midway through, Jess gets it right - shimming back with weight on right leg - hands at her sides...Pallicki leans into a right hand that lands short - Jessi swiping her left over top Adrianne's outstretched right, clapping temple with authority. PALLICKI'S BUZZED! Adrianne pony-stepping in confusion, covering up earmuff...Jessica edges in close, forehead brushing Pallicki's raised guard while left hook licks Adrianne's ribs. Extra left hook behind right elbow cramps Adrianne up: Jessi flashes the right uppercut, scraping it along Pallicki's guard, then crowds close to pack a shoving right in behind Pallicki's left elbow, buckling her knees. Adrianne cringing forward, keeping elbows in...Biel lashes away at either flank - muscles of her shoulders and back shredding into relief as she belts away strong. Jess giving ground in good order, walking hurtin' Adrianne in, turning at the ropes...Jessica all springy and coiled, beating Pallicki's flanks and back. Bell: Adrianne grimacing in pain, looking shabby; Jessica stomping back to her corner all flashing eyes, gnashing teeth.

R4: Pallicki flat-footed off her stool - hurt but serviceable. Early pounces from Jessica repulsed by disciplined Pallicki jabbing from the pocket - Adrianne keeping right hand tight to cheek throughout the engagements. Jess circling to her right, drops hands to thigh-level, pointing left shoulder at Adrianne...she's baiting Pallicki here, leaning her chin forward, then leaning away with weight on right (back) leg, looking to sweep sneaky left hand counters up off her thigh. Pallicki trying to find Jess with the jab first, then lean in and paste her righty...Biel willing to risk getting tagged for the chance to punch-with and get her left onto Pallicki's head in counter. Battle of nerves won on balance by Biel's reflexes and cute-positioning...she's juuuust out of range with her body lean and footwork, getting Pallicki to reach, catching her the swiping left hand counter, cleaning up with the odd swift right chaser before Pallicki can pull back.

R5: Jess in that hands-low, closed-stance configuration, hopping to her right, feinting to keep Adrianne spooked. Pallicki stalking, reaching for Jessi, looking to bend in and slug Biel helpless. Minute mark, Jess changes direction, hopping to her left, bringing herself into Adrianne's right-hand range...Pallicki loads up, but Biel's got her clocked: Jessi bends torso-left while hopping left, sweeping a murderous overhand right onto Pallicki's face as Adrianne's getting off. DOWN GOES PALLICKI! What a blast - Adrianne's torso goes limp as her legs lock up - she droops forward with her aborted right hand, then splashes down onto her face...and look at Jessi B! Biel BRAZEN, standing hands on hips, grinning hard, nodding aggressively out into the crowd...she just KNOWS it's over! KO5 Jessica Biel with one of the cockiest walk-off KOs in recorded history!

After: Biel's statuesque pose with Adrianne's prone body behind her equivalent to a walk of shame - it's a Kodak-moment that'll haunt Adrianne even as it'll bring Jessica much joy in the days to come. "Girl's gotta know her place!" Biel trumpets in postfight. "Adrianne's place is on her face, at my feet. She may have taken GI Joe from Nichols, but come on: when did anyone ever confuse Nichols with Jessica Biel? Answer: never! I'm one of a kind. I'm a singular talent. I'ma baaad woman. I'm..." On and on in that vain - Jessica thrilled to have laid Adrianne out; anxious to make sure we all understand how enormous the moment is.