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26 May 2013 Gwyneth Paltrow vs Katy Perry

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 7 months ago

Gwyneth Paltrow 02.jpg

"BABES AND BABES AT THE AYSLUM" PPV

Site: Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on May 26, 2013, 10:32 pm

BEFORE:

"Really, I didn't expect to ever be invited back here," says a smiling Gwyneth. "After all the trouble I caused this stable, I figured they'd take Swan's lucky punch and RUN. AND I'd NEVER have believed they'd feed PERRY to me! She's tailor-made! The only easier match up in the building would be that washed up Playmate at ringside! Oh, well. I'm going to enjoy tonight, because, after I humiliate Perry, there's no WAY I'm getting another fight in Philly!"

"Really, Gwynnie," says Katy with a smirk. "You're going to trash talk me? You're about to find out that this isn't a movie, and you aren't wearing a metal suit. But there IS a script. And at the end of it, you end up SUCKING CANVAS.."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside..."

McCarthy: "You know, it's AMAZING how everyone's a tough guy AFTER I retire..."

O'Dell: "Now, calm down, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Oh, I'm CALM. Now she's ripped my boyfriend, called me out, and called me 'washed up'. I'm PERFECTLY calm..."

O'Dell: "Well, let's STAY that way, because the song you hear is Kate Bush's 'This Woman's Work', and here comes the Oscar Winner, the woman People Magazine called the sexiest in the world..."

McCarthy: "See, you're just embarrassing People Magazine by continuing to repeat that in MY presence..."

O'Dell: "Gwyneth into the ring. Helped off with the robe to reveal that deep blue number..."

McCarthy: "Q. Tip."

O'Dell: "And that's 'California Gurls' booming through the arena and here comes 'The Santa Barbara Slugger', Katy Perry!"

Tess: "Katy all business on the way down here. No bouncing around smiling and playing to the crowd like she sometimes does..."

O'Dell: "Wasting no time getting into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve, and we're about ready to go. Tess on record as favoring Katy. Mac, what do YOU think?"

McCarthy: "I think Paltrow is lucky she didn't EYE me on the way down here. Oh, and I also think Perry's going to knock the slobber out of her overrated FACE."

O'Dell: "Our ladies have agreed on three in a row. Truck, see if that's a record. And, in the mean time, here we go. Perry immediately working forward. Wants to close with Paltrow and go to work."

Tess: "Gwyneth in great shape no doubt with those six-pack abs, but she doesn't want to slug with Katy..."

O'Dell: "That's clearly not Paltrow's plan as she circles right away from Perry's right hand. Katy pressuring, looking to cut off the ring. Jabbing with that left, stepping to."

McCarthy: "Paltrow tying her up inside. Like Tess said, doesn't want to slug with Perry."

O'Dell: "Referee breaks. Paltrow circles away to her right. Perry works forward, goes body. Paltrow circles again. Perry pursues...AND DOWN SHE GOES! WALKED RIGHT INTO A RIGHT HAND!"

McCarthy: "The definition of a lucky punch. Did nothing to set that up. Just HAPPENED to be throwing it when Perry blundered jaw first into it."

O'Dell: "Katy flat on her back as Paltrow goes to a neutral corner. Referee's count at four. Five. Six. Seven. Perry to her hands and knees at eight. Nine...It's over! Katy can't beat the count! And the winner by KO1, Gwyneth Paltrow!"

McCarthy: "Check the replay on the right hand. Here's Paltrow circling right. Perry ducks down and hooks the body and steps forward right into the path of a right hand Paltrow's already thrown. Look at the head swivel! Kid did well to get off her back let alone beat the count."

Tess: "Check another replay. This is the owner's box. Look at the guy in the big hat toss back his head and throw up his hands. This isn't the first time Perry's gotten sloppy early in a fight and lost as a result, and her boss is not amused."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Gwyneth Paltrow..."

Gwyneth: "I TOLD you she was tailor-made for me! I was wrong about one thing, though. Even MCCARTHY would have given me a better fight. That's two now, Wiz! You want some more of this?"

Tess: "Gwyneth showing off the washboard abs as she heads back to her corner after a big victory in Philly!"