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26 May 2013 Post Asylum PPV Press Conference

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 7 months ago

Posted by Boxing World Online on May 26, 2013, 10:37 pm,

The Man In The Hat sits, as usual, at the center of the dais. To his left are Pink, Kat Graham, Britney Spears, Serinda Swan, Avril Lavigne, and Jane Levy. To his right sit Brooklyn Decker, Daniela Ruah, Jewel, Neve Campbell, Katy Perry, and Mariska Hargitay.

Man In The Hat: "All right, before we get started..."

Brooklyn Decker(leaping to her feet): "That was a TRAVESTY! We are filing an official protest IMMEDIATELY and DEMANDING that fight be declared a 'no contest'! We are also DEMANDING that referee's license be suspended! He's never refereeing in the FCBA again! That was a FARCE! I beat the HELL out of that girl for three rounds and the first time she lands ONE LUCKY PUNCH he STOPS IT! RIDICULOUS! LAUGHABLE! A MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE! This is NOT going to stand! Do you HEAR ME?"

She stops, then continues, stomping her foot after each word for emphasis.
"NOT. GOING. TO. STAND!"

And with that, Decker spins on her heel and stomps through the curtain into the backstage area.

There's silence for a second and then...

Man In The Hat: "In case you guys are wonderin', Brookie's a little peeved..."

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "Now, before we get to questions, allow me to issue some words of thanks. First, to my good friends at Beever's Babes for sendin' Miley to the Asylum. We've had a long relationship with the folks at that stable and I hope it continues. They've got a great group and we want to showcase that talent in Philly. And, of course, to Odd Man for sendin' Bar and Adriana our way. Odds and Ends is a relatively new stable. But it hasn't taken 'em long to make waves, has it? Lot of girls over there you can make money with. Lot of 'em that ain't easy to beat, too. Could be we got a healthy little rivalry goin'. I like it. Also to Av and Jane for puttin' together a great card, to the indie fighters who agreed to join us, and, of course to HBO and the broadcast crew for a great show. And last but not least, to the FCBA commission, without whose sanction these cards would not be possible. Now, I'll take questions. Cable Boy. Go!."

HBO Reporter: "Are you actually issuing a protest?"

Man In The Hat: "This ain't baseball, son. We ain't dealin' with rules about when you can make a pitchin' change. This is boxin'. There's a fight and somebody WINS. Pretty simple. Tonight, that was Lima. Does Brookie think she could have kept fighting? Of course. And I'm still waitin' for the first losin' fighter who says, 'I'm glad the ref stopped it!' I have no problem with the job the referee did. Lima won. She deserved to win. End of story. As far as tonight's fight goes. I suspect, however, Adriana and Brooke haven't seen the last of one another..."

HBO Reporter: "Follow up. You don't seem overly upset by Brooke's performance..."

Man In The Hat: "I'm not. She fought three excellent rounds, then got caught. It happens. I'll say again, sometimes the other guy makes a play. And Lima made one. As far as Brookie goes, though, she's already Elevated this year. She's one of the biggest stars we have. She's got as much talent as anyone on the roster. She's a factor in two divisions. What I'm sayin' is, you're gonna see plenty more of her. Cable Boy II..."

Showtime Reporter: "I'm guessing you aren't as happy with Katy's work..."

Man In The Hat(looking at Perry with a smile): "Well, at least I didn't have to spend a lot of time WATCHIN' it..."

(Laughter from the reporters and a little smile from Katy)

Man In The Hat: "Look, here's the thing with Katy. She has a physical package that 90 percent of the girls in the FCBA would sell their souls for. She's been physically superior to every fighter she's been in with. The problem is, sometimes she relies on that too much and goes out and gets sloppy. She just needs to let the fight come to her. Sooner or later, her power and athleticism will take over and the other girl's gonna be in a world of hurt. And her fight results bear that out. If she gets out of the first third of the fight in good shape, she wins. Every single time. Katy has championship potential. She just needs to get out of her own way is all. Oh, Lord, it's M.A.A.M!"

Madison Addison Abigail McKenzie: "Madison Addison Abigail McKenzie of 'Fighting Ingenue Magazine'. First let me say that 'Fighting Ingenue' is a big supporter of Front Street's decision to support Pretty Little Punchers and to bring in Kat Graham. We're glad to see Front Street is joining the FCBA youth movement..."

Man In The Hat: "Yeah. I read your editorial, 'Never Trust Any Fighter Over 30'. I take it your question is about Ms. Graham..."

Madison Addison Abigail McKenzie: "Obviously. She was in some trouble early. How concerned WERE you?"

Man In The Hat: "Very. The first time a girl gets blooded always worries you. You wonder how she'll react. Kat reacted like what she has the potential to BE. A champion. She figured the thing might getr stopped, and she wasn't havin' any. She took the girl OUT of there before that could happen. Turned what could have been a step back into a step forward in her development. Look at this! Brunette Magazine is here!"

Brunette Mazagine Reporter: "Talk to me about Serinda Swan's win tonight...seems like she let up on the accelerator late in the fight..."

Man In The Hat: "Serinda fought a VERY smart, very effective fight tonight. She knew that Maggie's a good boxer lookin' ta make a splash. Which makes her very dangerous. So, Swanny kept a lid on things early, didn't allow any crazy jailbreak nonsense, then took over in the middle rounds. As for why she backed off a bit late, before we came out here, we had an x-ray done of that right hand, which, as you may have noticed, she's icing as we sit here. It ain't broke, but it's bruised pretty good. Apparently, Maggie has a hard head..."

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "One more point about Swanny. I know she gets overlooked at times, since we're crowded a light. But, this is a girl I like a lot. A lot. Tess, dear, go ahead."

Tess: "Pink/Cyrus was quite the fight..."

Man In The Hat: "Miley is a crowd pleaser in a lot of ways. Kid has a ton of talent, she's a huge star, and she loves to mix it up. She's goin' places. That being said, Pinkness is a bantam contender. Make no mistake about that. And, she showed it tonight..."

Tess: "Follow up for Pink. It was mentioned tonight that since you're in such great shape and can wear a girl down as a fight goes on, the blueprint for beating you might have been drawn up by Morrison. Come right out and throw the reserves in early and try to take you out of there..."

Pink(smiling): "Let's just say Pinkness WELCOMES that strategy. Come on out and slug with me right off the bell, girls. See where that gets you. Hint: Canvas Nap."

Man In The Hat: "Smackeroo! The limo and dinner await!"

Reporter: "How big was Dani's comeback win?"

Man In The Hat: "Well, Dani was on a bit of a losing streak. And that's somethin' you DON'T want to be on at Front Street. Because you might just look up and see a lot of well-shaped butts pullin' away from you, if you know what I mean. But, it wasn't just the win. As I try to impress upon you media types over and over again, sometimes it's also how you get there. Lot of girls don't get out of that first round, let alone survive two more. And even more of 'em, if they get that far, are all done. Dani was NOT done. And what happened in that fourth round shows you just how special she IS. Just how GOOD she is. Just how DANGEROUS she is."

He pauses for a second, then continues.

Man In The Hat: "You know, people have called Ms. Ruah 'The Next Cat Bell' for a long time. And, of course, that's high praise. It's also based on their similar body types more than anything. But, when it comes to the KIND of fighter Dani can be, I think there's a more apt comparison. Think on it, gang. Dani's rangy. She has a great jab. She's an excellent boxer. And she has a right hand that can end your night at any second. She lands it and you WILL be dreamin' of sugar plum fairies like a kid on Christmas Eve. Remind you of anyone? If you said Wonder Woman, Ms. Adrianne Palicki, you get the prize. Now, before you all go crazy, I'm not sayin' she's as GOOD as Palicki. Yet. But that's the kind of fighter Ms. Ruah is. Very good. And VERY dangerous. Now, it's time for dinner! Tess! Smackey! Limo!"