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8 June 2013 Nicole Kidman vs Reese Witherspoon

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 7 months ago

Nicole Kidman.jpg Reese Witherspoon 05.jpg

Retro Bout Ca. 2004 by Jac Fac

The winners/losers banquet and party was rolling along. Some gals were chowing down on steaks and chilling as others - smarting at being branded 'losers' - were forced to serve wine and hors d'oeuvres to their conquerors. In the first fight of the evening in the 'Ring of Revenge’, Halle Berry was standing over the unconscious body of Sharon Stone whom she’d knocked cold in the third round of a fight the ‘Ebony Empress’ had dominated from the opening bell. Charlize Theron was on her knees, cradling her ‘friend’ Sharon’s battered black and blue face in her lap. Halle put her foot on Sharon’s left breast - exposed when one of Halle’s hard punches had snapped the shoulder strap of her top - and flattened the fleshy mound.
“When she wakes up,” Halle told Theron. “I want you both on your knees at my table,” she said, pointing with her gloved fist to a ringside table where a group of Black women including Queen Latifah, Serena Williams, Barocca and Oprah Winfrey were surrounding an uncomfortable looking Sunny McKay, the blond porn star who was also Charlize’s lover.

Diane Lane had been making no secret of her hatred for 'Downtown' Julie Brown, the tough black woman who’d knocked her out several months earlier in a fight during one of Marg Helgenberger's ‘pity parties.’ Julie was chuckling about Diane’s pique after giving most of her other 'victims' a night off so she could concentrate on Diane's humiliation. Finally, after having heard enough 'bad mouthing' from the 'Under the Tuscan Sun' and 'Unfaithful' star, Julie told Diane, “C’mon, let’s take it into the ring.” Julie had stripped off her party dress and then quickly clobbered Lane and forced her into total submission before she dragged Diane's senseless and buck naked body back to her table and dropped it on the floor.

Others, including Reese Witherspoon, saw Diane’s disheveled body sprawled on the carpet and high-fived Julie. Nicole Kidman, however, wasn’t impressed. She saw Julie as a 'bully' - a bully who picked her fights very carefully. The Aussie star resented having to watch long-time gal-pal Diane being beaten and humiliated by the aging vixen and said so.

“Hey you beanpole asshole, what are you fuming over,” smirked Witherspoon after Nicole had vented. “Yeah you; the Aussie with the big beady blue eyes; I'm talking to you!”

Kidman was in an hellacious mood what with her husband struggling with “issues” and Reese was little better, having just learned she’d been cuckolded by Ryan Phillippe (soon to become the ‘ex-Mr. Reese Witherspoon.’) Both women were pissed and both were primed for battle! Nicole shoved Reese viciously back against the table occupied by Kim Cattrall and several other of Julie's victims, spilling their drinks.

“HEY! You two wanna fight, get in the ring. I'll ref,” growled Kim Cattrall as she wiped spilled wine from her bosom. The leggy star of 'Sex in the City' whipped off her dress, leaving her topless in just a pair of wild blue, bikini panties. Catcalls and yells cascaded down on her as the two combatants followed her to the ring. Nicole stripped down to white bikini panties while Reese got totally naked!

“No introductions needed ladies,” announced Kim to the crowd. “Reese thinks she can beat Nicole and she disagrees.”

“Let’s get it on!” was the rejoinder from the crowd.

Faith Hill, in a front row seat, bit her lower lip nervously. Reese had kicked her bony ass in their encounter a few months ago after a critic said Reese’s singing in ‘Walk the Line’ was superior to Hill’s “bubblegum country” sound. Faith, therefore was backing Kidman all the way. Also cheering for Kidman was another long, lanky 'perennial victim,’, Angie Harmon.

Round One: Kidman uses her longer reach, snapping off solid jabs into the face of the far shorter, but more solidly put together New Orleans native, Witherspoon. “Gonna give you a ‘Katrina’ of your own you little b###h,” snarls Nic as she drives Reese back into the ropes with some great body shots.

“Beanpole asshole loser,” chides Reese as she slips inside of Kidman’s roundhouse punches to drive her own hard body blows to the Aussie’s long, lean, lanky frame. Reese begins to bludgeon Nicole’s body until the withering body attack buckles the big Aussie's long, wiry legs.

“Kill her, Reese!” goes up the cry from her supporters accompanied by a groan from the other ‘beanpoles’ in the room.

Nicole is unmoved by the sentiment and she lands a wicked right to Reese's jaw that sends the short round bouncing on her butt across the canvas. Witherspoon is hurt and stunned but she struggles to get to her feet before Cattrall counts her out. Nicole follows up her advantage, tagging Reese with a sweeping left hook that drives the smaller gal backward into the ropes. Nicole swarms all over Reese, pummeling her head and shoulders as the petite blond earmuffs at the rope. The bell rings and Cattrall quickly wraps up Nicole, pulling her off the quivering Reese.

“You won that round, tall one,” laughs Kim as she escorts the redheaded Aussie to her corner with a quick slap on the ass. “I'll deny I said it, but I can't stand that little shit. So you kick her ass if you can.” Nicole is encouraged.

Round Two: Reese if defiant and comes out swinging with all she has. She has to leap into her punches, but a couple of them manage to reach Nicole's jaw and one hard shot sends the long legged one stumbling backward. But Reese can’t knock Nicole down.

“That all you've got?” teases Nicole. “Here's another one for you!” Nicole rocks the 'Walk the Line' blond with another right to the jaw that drops Reese to all fours. As Witherspoon crawls around looking for her mouthpiece, the place is in a pandemonium. Many can’t believe Nicole is capable of this at all since she’d always been considered a coward or worse.

As soon as Reese gets back on her feet, Kidman clobbers her with a left-right combination to the face! Reese's glamorous features are swelling badly as Nicole begins hammering the shorter gal at will as the round winds down.

“Gotcha don't I?” taunts Nicole.

But Witherspoon is defiant if nothing else and mounts an 'ALAMO' attack with Nicole starring in the role of Santa Ana! Reese fires some combinations, one or two of which should have gutted Nicole - but the fire is gone from the little blondes punches and Nicole weathers the brief uprising. Then Nicole drops Reese for the third - and final - time with a with a sweet overhand right cross followed by a long, looping left to the jaw. Reese's muscular little legs unhinge in the corner and she drops to her knees, then topples forward; her face on the canvas and her butt in the air!

The cheering is deafening as Kim raises Nicole's gloved right fist. Then Kim helps Nicole strip Reese and bind her ankles with her own panties. After Nicole has changed into her 'Moulin Rouge' outfit, the victorious Kidman is granted the honor of dragging Reese around the ring by the ankles while the crowd applauds her effort.

Singing, drinking and shouting are the order of the night as Kidman finishes her ‘victory drag’, then picks up Reese’s limp body and tosses it on top of Nicole’s table. Faith Hill joins her, gives Nicole a kiss, then drops to her knees to service Nicole under the table while Kidman is served dinner - the food spread out using Reese's naked body as the dinner plate.

After dinner, Cattrall brings Witherspoon around with smelling salts and, after slipping a robe around her naked body, holds her up with one arm around her waist and the other hand on the back of Reese’s head as she forces Reese to kiss Nicole on the lips.

“You're the best Nic,” Reese grudgingly announces with the other 'beanpoles' looking on and laughing at her discomfort. Then they all burst into guffaws when Nicole reaches up under Reese's robe and pinches her ass - because she can!

“See you upstairs later then,” Nicole grins. “I'm in that kinda mood…you