Retro Bout Ca. 2004 by Jac Fac

The scene is set for the fight. The backdrop is Shannen's continual 'dissing' of Lela at a watering hole in LA. Even after Lela beat Shannen in three pool matches the former ‘90210’ star couldn't stop her taunting and insults about Lela's acting ability - or lack thereof!

The LA Forum has a packed house and in Shannen's corner is Tori Spelling as her second while Lela has Valerie Bertinelli whom she’d beaten earlier in the month in a spirited match. When Lela flips off her robe she reveals her solid legs and a strong physique in the same brown bikini panties she’d worn in 'Waiting to Exhale'. For her part, Shannen has chosen a tiny black thong. Lela wins the oooh and aahh contest from the male audience hands down. The referee is venerable Sue Anne Langdon!

Round One - Doherty is confident from the outset and scores with a good body combination. Lela shakes this off though and returns the favor with a wicked shot to Shannen's midriff which sends the Memphis born gal backpedaling. 'You're gonna see plenty of those' snarls Lela through bared teeth as she then proceeds to snap Shannen's head back with a vicious left jab. More body shots follow as Shannen is already absorbing plenty of pain. Shannen regains her composure and delivers a jackhammer right cross straight to Lela's jaw that sends the L.A. born Rochon back on her heels.

“I can hit too you know,” says Shannen who wades in and connects with a great left-right body combo as Lela finds her opponent suddenly quite formidable. Doherty brawls with Lela as they exchange punches in the middle of the ring. The dislike is truly intense. The bell rings and Langdon has to pull them apart. The first round is scored even.

Round Two - Caution is thrown to the winds by both fighters. Lela is back slamming Shannen with more body shots as Doherty again is hurting from those shots. Shannen drops her arms to protect that body and Lela immediately fires a wicked jaw shot which drives Shannen against the ropes. Lela hammers the beleaguered Doherty with unanswered combinations and Langdon forces Shannen to take a standing 8 count. Doherty protests but all in vain. Lela is smiling broadly at the crestfallen Shannen. Back to the middle of the ring they go; Lela giving better than she's getting. Suddenly, Lela floors Doherty with a left hook taught to her by Lola Falana who, years earlier, wiped out Joey Heatherton with that same punch! Doherty lands hard on her ass as her legs shoot up and splay out in a wide ‘V”. Pride alone brings Shannen back to her feet as this shot has taken a huge toll on her stamina and ego.

“Hey, tough Irish girl,” taunts Lela. “You're a non-event with me.”

The bell rings with Lela throwing her arms up in the air as she struts to her corner. Tori Spelling is begging Shannen to counterpunch and stop trying to trade punches with the stronger/faster Rochon.

Round Three - Doherty is sliding along the ropes trying to lure Lela into a mistake. Lela isn't having any of that. Rochon taunts Doherty mightily and suggests she might even 'take Shannen's man away from her'. This inflames Shannen as she tries 'swapping shots' with Lela along the ropes. It's ALL Lela as she hammers Shannen with solid bombs to the head that drop the hapless TV star once more. As Doherty writhes in pain, Rochon thrusts both her arms up and grins at her prey.

“Stay down, stay down!” screams Tori but Shannen is determined and she rises and stumbles towards Lela who again slams her hard, then watches grinning as Doherty's legs quiver for all they're worth. Suddenly, Shannen tilts backwards and falls hard on her back! The crowd is in pandemonium as Lela Rochon has won another fight. Lela’s corner gal, Valerie Bertinelli, puts Lela's robe over her shoulders and kisses her.

“I'm not dragging her worthless ass around the ring,” Lela sneers. “I didn't drag you either now, did I?”

“No you didn't boss,” says Valerie.

All of Lela's pals - including Angela Bassett and Whitney Houston - are in the ring kissing her as they strut around Shannen Doherty's fallen, unconscious body. Finally Tori Spelling has to drag Shannen out of the ring.

NOTE: Sharon Stone was in attendance and decided SHE wants a piece of Lela next!