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19 July 2013 Kaley Cuoco vs Jennifer Lawrence

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 5 months ago

Kaley Cuoco 04.jpg Jennifer Lawrence 04.jpg

Posted by simguy on July 19, 2013, 9:26 am

BEFORE: Tension between the fighters: girls can't agree on relative levels of celebrity status. "I'm not just another tv actress," Kaley insists at podium, "I'm the biggest star working in television today. That means something; that's different. I'm a former, multi-time FCBA champion and Jennifer Lawrence has to acknowledge that. Who's Jen Lawrence again? She's a movie starlet who's been fed hand-picked, broke-down, washed up old movie stars, and she hasn't proved anything in the ring yet. I'm BY FAR the best fighter she's ever been in with, and I'm going to wax her fanny! Jen Lawrence doesn't get to come in here and be the boss - no way. Not on my watch."

Lawrence oozing confidence in rebuttal, brushing off Kaley's criticism by taking a few moments to position her Oscar on the podium. "What Kaley Cuoco is, is my entre to the elite at lightweight," Jennifer announces, hands gripping either side of the podium like a woman who means what she says. "That's it. Kaley's my stepping stone. Is she a good fighter? Yes she is: that's why she's been singled out by my guys for destruction. Kaley. Will. Be. Beaten. She's quick, she's explosive, she's beaten a whole lot of good fighters in the ring, but the cold hard truth of this fight is that I'm too violent for her. I'll beat her numb, I'll break her spirit. She's had a good run, but all good things come to an end. Who am I? I'm the end of the road for Kaley Cuoco."

Black bikini for Kaley C; high pony with frisky bangs; electric blue gloves. Jen in electric blue bikini with tuggable bottoms boasting a bit of hip; white gloves; blonde hair in high pony with messy gym-rat bangs.

Girls elect to ignore the ref as he's droning on about rules and expectations during stare-down:
Kaley: "Do you want me to stop you to the body, or should I just claim your chin? Also what round do you want to go out in?"

Jen: "Funny. You must be a professional comedienne. You know what?"

Kaley: "What?"

Jen: "I'ma beat your arms so hard, you're going to need someone to feed you for a week."

Kaley: (mouth opens and closes, eyes go crystalline...she's ready to hurt Jen now).

During R1: Quick-strike Kaley gets to Jen early - Cuoco feinting, then jumping in that sudden lead left uppercut...Lawrence clipped clean to chin, sent reeling back on her heels. Kaley moves in to finish: weight on left (lead) leg; right (back) ankle up off canvas; right hand high/palm out; left hand dangling, whip-batting hooks up into Jen's midsection/ribs CHUP! CHUP! CHUP! Lawrence sponging in earmuff, trusting her body...by the minute mark she's swappin' hooks with Kaley, clubbing Cuoco about the head and shoulders while Kaley's dippin' and rippin' underneath. Cuoco legs out, luring Jen back to midring...classic springy Kaley over the final minute - feinting Jen from outside, showing her the up-jab from hip, darting sudden lead right hands off the shoulder from closed stance.

R2: Similar wide-ranging negotiations as Kaley's circling outside, picking her spots to pounce in off feints. Jen keeping dukes up, trusting her body to absorb anything downstairs: she just doesn't want to give up chin to Kaley's circus punches. Lawrence steadily whittling down the ring - jabbing Kaley's upperchest; pounding Kaley's ribs via the right round punch; dipping left shoulder/hoisting left hooks up into Kaley's midsection. Cuoco not enjoying the punishment...she's scooting out of range, trying not to linger overly long inside...Lawrence walking her girl down with a little smirk of supremacy through 2.

R3: Kaley continues to initiate - jumping in with sneaky lead rights, or whipping lead hooks up off her thigh - always bouncing-out quick after attempting. Jen stalking, maybe being a bit too patient: Kaley able to potshot-and-go, retaining initiative. Down the stretch, Cuoco dips inside/straightens up with her shoulder nudging Jen's chest...Kaley hooking off the bump, chopping thick, palm-up left hands in under Jen's right elbow. Lawrence anxious to answer, tries the stubby right hand, but Kaley rolls-with, answers back that slick counter right uppercut...Lawrence picked up onto her toes, put wobbly butt by a cracking shot...grinning Kaley trot-stepping out to her right, circling and admiring her handiwork.

R4: Jen jabs Kaley to ropes, squares on her: pate-to-pate in-fighting evolves as Cuoco digs in at apron. Girls stooping forward in strong stances, taking turns cuffing one another's tummies CHUP! CHUP! Girls moving heads side to side in little bobbing shifts, setting up on either opposing shoulder; strong shouldered blondes reaching in to writhe-arms for position, pulling the rival's wrists down, then clouting her about the ears. Lawrence gradually getting the better of it...she's keying on Kaley's full biceps, clubbing away with thumbside-up, flat-knuckle wallops. JLaw picking Kaley up the short right uppercut inside; pushing off with the extended left elbow; hooking the breadbasket. Cuoco grumpy, outworked at bell...Jen will take those terms all night.

R5: More fighting on Jen's terms once she cuts off the ring, jabs Kaley to ropes. Cuoco cute and effective in the pocket - dipping side to side, finding angles for chopping hooks/jerking uppercuts, but Jen just boring in, putting mitts on meat. More punishment for Kaley's arms as Jen beats lats/biceps/pecs with thudding brutality. Hooks pack in thick behind Kaley's right elbow, or clout across Kaley's paunch - Cuoco wincing at either touch. Kaley getting cutie-pie uppercuts - right hands off the right leg; left hands off the left, but Jen munching 'em, rolling that brawny left shoulder/extended left elbow to keep Kaley pinned down, then feeding Cuoco extra doses of punishment to bell.

R6: Kaley shying away in her crouch, hands grouped loose at her chest as she pivots counter-clockwise. Jen smells weakness, walking Kaley down big-girl...Lawrence looking to start clamping down and JEN GOES DOWN! Sudden bait-and-switch lead left uppercut catches Jennifer walking in...Lawrence crashing to her back with ring-rattling force...Kaley cackling, eyes dancing as she jogs to neutral corner. POOR JENNIFER! Lawrence desperately hurt, sniveling as she gets to all fours - flops onto her face - struggles back up - staggers face first into ropes - rights herself, then slides to her left along ropes all glassy eyed and confused AND THE REF WAVES IT OFF! Lawrence swaying on the spot but blubbering in protest - it's TKO6 Kaley Cuoco!

After: Cuoco taunting a still bleary-eyed Oscar winner in the immediate aftermath...Jennifer Lawrence's march to glory momentarily stymied as a veteran former champ shows us her bona-fides. "Caught her with my 'Durance-smasher'," Kaley grins, referencing a similar shocking victory she once had, surprising a very strong Erica Durance to chin. "She's a little Kentucky bull in the ring all right, but I'm strong too - I was never intimidated by her. She worked my body, but I was getting into her ribs too...I think her legs were tingling a bit when I caught her. Quickness = power guys - you hit girls with punches they don't see, and they go. Now that Jennifer Lawrence has seen a great fighter up close, she'll know how much work she still has to do. I'm nobody's stepping stone, baby. Ask Jen once her head clears."