“Never Bet What You Don’t Want to Lose”

Posted by Archer 5/28/2005

The PPV was over. In the BSE dressing rooms, Kaley Cuoco, Katie Holmes and Lindsay Lohan had changed into street clothes and left. Natalie Portman was in jeans and a blouse, but she seemed to be delaying her departure as though she were expecting something. Britney Spears and Amy Davidson lingered to find out what was up.

They soon found out.

The dressing room door suddenly opened and in came Sarah Michelle Gellar with a large tote bag slung over her shoulder. Behind her were Kelly Hu and Jessica Alba, who looked around rather uncertainly.

“What are you doing here Gellar?” Britney demanded.

“Collecting on a little side bet Natty and I had going for this fight. Oh! I guess you neglected to tell anyone about this, didn’t you. Natalie? Won’t Mariska and Aristide be surprised,” Sarah smirked.

Natalie looked pale, but she retorted: “As if Ultimate knows about it. What the idea of the bodyguards—you think I need to be held down?”

“Just a precaution,” Sarah replied. “You might have tried to back out.”

“Will somebody PLEASE tell me what is going on?” Amy Davidson cried.

Kelly Hu answered her: “It seems our Sarah and your Natalie had a secret side bet going: the the winner of their fight gets to shave the loser’s hair off.”

As Britney and Amy’s jaws dropped, Sarah dug into her tote bag and came out with shears and electric clippers. Britney and Amy then stared at Natalie who now looked very pale.

“I thought I would win,” Natalie whispered, “I never thought—“

“I won’t let you do this!” Britney cried angrily. “”It is degrading, humiliating—barbaric!”

“My, my Britney, you do have a way with words,” Sarah replied coolly. “I will only say this is something Natalie agreed to do. I didn’t force force it on her. She fully expected to be doing this to ME! Would you be so indignant if we were in MY dressing room?”

Britney started to continue her protest, but Natalie grasped her wrist: “She’s right, Britney. I would have done it to her. Let’s just get it over with.”

“Now that’s the spirit!” Sarah said cheerfully. “Let me get you set up in front of that big mirrored dressed table. Kelly, Jessica—you can pull up some chairs and one of you can run the camcorder.”

“NO! Natalie  cried, her eyes now blazing. “Pictures weren’t part of the deal. Neither was an audience. I want EVERYONE ELSE out of here until it’s over!”

Sarah looked annoyed, but Kelly Hu said: “She right, Sarah. Why don’t we just go out in the hall and wait.”

Britney and Amy looked beseechingly at Natalie, but she nodded: “Go. I will get through this.”

So the BSE girls went out with the Fighting Academy representatives. (As they did, Jessica Alba whispered to Britney Spears: “Sorry about turning down your offer of special training. The boss put his foot down. Thanks for trying.” Britney shrugged: “I only wanted to help.”)

Obe they wereew along, Sarah sat the stone-faced Natalie up on a stool in front of the big makeup mirror. She went worked to work with a surprising amount of skill. She used the shears to get Natalie’s long hair down to a not-bad short bob. She paused.

“Now,” Sarah gloated, “for the FUN part of the show.”

The electric hair cutter buzzed to life. Sarah suddenly had an inspiration. Starting with the nape of Natalie’s neck, Sarah worked the clipped up the back of her head, over the crown all the way to the front.  It created a neat groove right through the center of Natalie’s dark hair. Tears began to roll down Natalie’s cheeks as she saw the ruin of her beautiful hair.

“How does it feel to know that soon everyone will see how I have humiliated you—broke you—took away your pride—“

Natalie bent forward, her hands to her face. Sarah leaned forward and rested her chin just above the groove she had created. She was enjoying looking at the two of them in the mirror.

“NO!” Natalie suddenly shot upwards on the stool. The crown of her head connected with Sarah’s chin with a resounding CRACKKKK! Sarah caught completely by surprise went out like a light. She crashed backwards onto a coffee table that collapsed noisily.

Britney, Amy, Kelly and Jessica just outside in the hall were caught by surprise, too. They tried to get back in only to find the quick-moving Natalie had locked it from the inside. The four of them began trying to kick their way through, but it was a strong door. It finally did give way and they stumbled into the room—only to stop dead in their tracks with astonishment.

Natalie had taken control of the electric clippers and was just finishing cutting off all her own hair. Sarah was just sitting there in the floor rubbing her chin and looked bewildered.

“There! I hope you are satisfied!” Natalie snarled as she finished the job and threw the electric clippers at Sarah. “You can’t break me by cutting my hair off! I am more than my hair! I will not be broken by you or anyone else! NOW GET OF HERE!”

Kelly and Jessica had Sarah on her feet and collected the tote bag. Sarah looked like wanted to have the last word, but Kelly Hu said:

“You collected on your bet, Sarah. Let’s just go now.”

Sarah nodded, but shot Natalie a glare: “You always were a showboater Portman!”

“And you were always a despicable excuse for a human being, Gellar!” Natalie snarled back.

“Have a nice evening,” Jessica Alba said coolly as she and Kelly half-pulled, half-led Sarah out the battered door.

Britney and Amy went to Natalie’s side. She was now glaring at her reflecting in the moirror, rubbing her hands over the sad remnants of her once beautiful  hair.

“I will NOT be broken by this! I will become STRONGER and I WILL MAKE SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR PAY!”

Britney and Amy shuddered at the way their friend said this, but hugged her supportively., It was all she could do now.

Reposted by Archer 9/25/13