BBU & ACB present "The Ashes 2013" - Day Two

Posted by Vassago on October 12, 2013, 3:46 pm

With the series now out of the visitors' reach, the ACB coaching staff supporting Sarah Murdoch shrinks down to Erika Heynatz while both Georgie Thompson and Sarah Cummings are still trying to get all the details about Elle MacPherson and Elizabeth Hurley pounding each other in the locker room. Charlie Webster takes over ringside; back upstairs Kylie Minogue warns Denise van Outen the Urn won't be passed over without taking the hosts to the cleaners in the last two fights.  

The Wembley Arena crowd still chants Rochelle's name but the focus switches to Lucy Pargeter soon; the raven-haired actress will have her hands full of Sarah Murdoch according to the bets even though both women haven't fought this year and might display severe ring rustiness. "That won't be the case with Sarah, she's as tough as they come and but for Elle, Erika and Kim, she'd be right up there soaking up all the accolades!", Kylie targets Nicola McLean romping repeat from Day 1 as Denise doesn't seem much bothered by Lucy' chances and there's more to it than just the hated hair color, "Lucy's that kind of type I'd like to punch myself but well, for the BBU's sake, let's hope she makes it competitive!"

Sarah Murdoch wearing a silver bikini top, black boy-leg trunks and yellow gloves. Lucy Pargeter wearing a lacy black one-piece swimsuit and red gloves. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the welterweight division.

Round 1:
Lucy's biggest claim to fame is a two-time punchout of Suranne Jones but Sarah is a different kettle of fish who simply squares up to her and starts snapping her head back with powerful jabbing; Pargeter's caught out by this fast approach and gets slammed on the cheeks a couple of times too many before she can cover up as Murdoch unloads more vicious shots, slices the mitts apart and bounces off the nose; Lucy nearly stumbles back already and as she opens up for a left hook, Sarah beats her with a right jab on the nose and staggers in the middle of the ring, works the single hand thereafter with Lucy's eyes getting bigger but she just can't break the close range with the blonde pummelling her chest moments later and laying more leather into her solar plexus! Pargeter wobbles back again, dekes to the side at the very last second but Murdoch's onslaught is halted briefly as she whacks the raven-haired actress on the nose with another overhand and Lucy moans in pain and still fails to land anything on the rampant Aussie. Erika Heynatz keeps cheering for Sarah to finish the cumbersome looking English girl, she's destroyed her last year herself in a title fight no less and perhaps Sarah wants to improve on that; she's pounded Lucy back to the ropes and keeps smashing her midriff inside the final minute, Pargeter overwhelmed to the extreme and just soaking up a pillar to post beating in the opening round which is exactly what Kylie Minogue predicted.

Round 2:
Lucy looks absolutely stunned by what happened in that first round and she's nursing a couple of shiners under her left eye already. She tries to lanuch a proper attack straight after the bell but it only fuels Sarah's response and the precision of her shots leaves the brunette gasping for air early, heavy uppercuts punish Lucy's breasts and strand her in the middle of the ring again as Murdoch switched high and buries a left hook on the temple.. Pargeter loses her balance and drops her arms, enables the blonde to go after the rack again and this time Sarah drives the English actress back to the ropes much quicker, drills her tummy and makes her moan, crowd remains somewhat silent despite the overall success and offer little support to their favorite... Sarah keeps hammering away at the midriff and leaves Lucy all covered up until the final minute, wicked pace continues and finally she leands the leather on the temples again as Lucy tries to stand up and fight back from behind the guard, gets rocked from side to side, exposed on the cleavage again and at the bell Murdoch does her best to punch Pargeter out of her swimsuit and the raven-haired vixen looks like she wants to get out of here already!

Round 3:
Some concern about Lucy's jugs during the break, Sarah really enjoyed punching them in close range and that's not what the Emmerdale star came her for but she's told to hang in there by Geri Halliwell and the fight resumes with Murdoch closing her foe down easily and keeping up the pressure. Lucy lands some overhand shots and grazes the blonde's face before falling into more rack assault and Sarah thuds the brunette's impressive assets with visible delight, Lucy tries to respond and spikes her on the nose, snaps the head back to crowd's increasing reaction but that's a false dawn for any Pargeter fans as Murdoch leans on her and goes around the elbows, pummels against the ribcage and backs Lucy towards the ropes again... a clinching effort from the brunette goes awry with Sarah catching her on the jaw and sending on the ropes again, overhand left/right combo on the eye follows and Pargeter can't keep her voice down as she winces in pain... Murdoch shatters her mitts apart and bounces off the nose with no resistance whatsoever... more jabs bruise Lucy's face and the arms can't stay high enough... brutal display from the blonde who sags Pargeter on her knees and gives her more facial misery as she tears the skin under her left eye and signs off with another uppercut on the jaw right at the bell... how in the world is Lucy still standing not even the BBU TV team knows...

Round 4:
Lucy's really affected by the ammount of leather she's taken in just three rounds but Sarah gives her no respite and pummels on the chest seconds into the fourth, dwarfs her footwork and makes a minced meat of the guard as she splits the gloves apart again and buries more uppercuts on the jaw... LUCY'S HAD ENOUGH... and jack-knifes face-first to the canvas, hardly a surprise with the blonde just punishing her all the way through... slow count by the ref however Lucy's not all that convinced about suffering more pain, she's up at eight but gasping for air and her face is very swollen already, that deep gash under the left eye doesn't look pretty at all but she's send back into Sarah's striking range who rocks her head back & forth without much hesitation... more slaps on the swollen face and the mitts provide no protection anymore with Sarah pounding the raven-haired vixen to the ropes and just drilling her midriff... no luck with the jugs assault this time but punching the ribs proves equally successful as Lucy's left moaning and unable to even lock a clinch... Murdoch screams with every shot landing on the brunette's flesh.. Geri's given up hopes here but refuses to throw the towel, Erika Heynatz finds time for a good laugh as Murdoch buries Pargeter into the ropes and whacks her on the stomach, clips her jaw again with a fierce uppercut right on the bell... Lucy sags back on the ropes and barely holds back the tears, blonde gives her a long look and she's visibly delighted by the English girl's bruised face and struts back to her corner... Lucy slumps onto her knees and doesn't even make the effort to crawl back to her stool, shakes her head repeatedly upon Geri's urgent screams and just refuses to continue having taken all the punishment she could endure on the night... TKO4 Sarah Murdoch submission style!!!

AFTER: "One should never trust an Emmerdale brunette to do a proper job for you!", Denise van Outen is angry over Lucy's alleged lack of fighting spirit but Kylie is quick to point out that the otherwise proud actress showed exceptional punch resistance and Sarah's one of the most underrated fighters across the world, "If she was like ten years younger, she's rule the BBU with an iron first in Erika Heynatz style! Lucy lasted four full rounds which surprised me as I thought she'd be knocked out well inside the second! Allthough she never really troubled Sarah, she's got a set of boobs worthy of future exposure!"

The visitors win their seventh fight of the Ashes and both Sarah and Erika give each other a good pat on the back even though the overall score is out of the reach. As they enjoy the sight of Lucy needing assistance on her way to the locker room, the whole crowd gears up for the Grande Finale with two of the most hated rivals about to settle their feud and - in Cheryl Cole's case - make amends for a terrible beatdown suffered a couple of years ago.

(...) This just in from Olivia Godfrey before the break, apparently Lucy Pargeter's cleavage values attracted some interest on twitter and perhaps a new career for the buxom raven-haired Emmerdale star is not out of the question after all: "I don't know if some gals just enjoyed Sarah punching Lucy's boobs or what, but she received all kind of challenges on the official BBU twitter account... we'll report more on this later as the hashtag #PlasticWhore takes over for now and you know what that means.. how's your sis feeling, Kylie? Ready to lose her panties to Chezza? Back to you, Denise!"

Final result: Sarah Murdoch def. Lucy Pargeter TKO4.