BBU & ACB present "The Ashes 2013" - Day Two - MAIN EVENT

Posted by Vassago on October 12, 2013, 3:49 pm

Nobody inside the Wembley Arena needs any reminder that these two women simply hate each other's guts and would do anything to leave their foe in a pile of blood on the canvas. The feud dates back all the way to the X Factor days where both accused each other of being a "bytch" and quite frankly even the biggest music industry supporters have lost track of who exactly started the bad mouthing. Cheryl Cole struck the first blow as she defeated Dannii Minogue backstage before quitting X Factor but has since then suffered a terrible beatdown on the previous Ashes where Dannii wrecked her inside the opening round and followed up by forcing the Geordie brunette to remove her panties and burn them in the Urn! The sight of Cheryl's burning underwear remains one of the most remembered images in the BBU history and both women have agreed into a similar post-fight actions regardless of the outcome of the whole event and while the visitors are forced to pass over the Urn to the Brits, Dannii confirms in her pre-fight interview with Sarah Cummings that "Cole's panties will burn again tonight!" 

However the Geordie brunette has the word "revenge" written all over her face and if looks could kill, she'd roast Minogue on the spot and the entire BBU entourage prays for the 30 year old to make up for the disaster two years ago and add the proverbial icing on the cake tonight! "Cheryl's right up there with Michelle Keegan in the looks department. It's the best BBU has to offer and damn you, Chezza if you lose this! We can't stand some 40 something Aussie plastic whore beating the crap out of Girls Aloud's finest!", Denise hits the patriotic tone but earns a freezing look from Kylie in response: "I hope that's the last time you call my sis a Plastic Whore! Dannii made Cheryl pay for this two years ago and I'm this close to scratching your eyes out right now! Heck, let's go ringside as I see Liz Hurley is back on scene with a nasty little black eye and look at Yvonne! She's back too and giving orders to Kimberly Davies! (...) I hear that Georgie Thompson has some news but more on that later since Cheryl is already punching Dannii's tits during the introductions.. what a cheap slut! Wait for the bell, you filthy plastic whore..."

Dannii Minogue wearing a bright yellow bikini and black gloves. Cheryl Cole wearing a silver basque top with red stripes, black micro knickers and red gloves. The all new rose tattoo exposed to the limit on her derriere and she's really the best BBU can offer on the night considering Michelle Keegan's absence! The Main Event is scheduled for ten rounds in the flyweight division.

Round 1:
Both girls pour into each other straight from the bell and nobody expected anything else from these two, Cole pummels between the arms and bounces off Dannii's nose much to Kylie's shock but the younger sister finds her way with a massive left jab on the chin and snaps Cheryl's head back follows up with more overhands and keeps drilling the Geordie's face; Chezza wobbles early and has to jump to the side in avoidance, mounts a counter on the chest and uppercuts Minogue's rack but eats more vicious leather over the top as Dannii leaps towards her and bounces off the chest, Cheryl loses her balance, sends a wayward hook too quickly as she loses her temper and Minogue blasts a right hook on the jaw again, makes Cheryl's head snap awkwardly to the side... right hook on the eye and the English vixen just couldn't raise her arms in time... Cole bounces off the ropes and makes some worrying noise already; Dannii slices her mitts and bounces off the face again, beats the younger singer with more efforts downstairs and pounds away at the stomach... Cheryl's wincing continues with Dannii all over her and bursting the guard with another uppercut.... clean on the jaw and Chezza's wobbling again, left hook on the eye, right on the nose... COLE CRASHES DOWN ONTO HER SIDE and we pick up where we've left off two years ago... Collective joy in the ACB corner as Dannii makes obscene gestures towards the fallen brunette but Cheryl's too proud to accept another humiliation like that from the most hated rival out there... she's up at six and throwing furious leather after the command, she tags Dannii's chin and reels her back but loses the footwork battle and cuts the air with one swing too many, bends forward and eats another right hook on the eye that staggers her on the spot with Minogue pounding away at her jugs thereafter and sending back on the ropes... ref jumps in between the two hellcats right at the bell as neither of them paid much attention to the clock and looked happy enough to just keep on going and Chezza squares up to her nemesis and tries to bite her in the neck, barely avoids a swinging response and Kylie's furious in the booth as the Plastic Whore was allowed to survive the opening round.. "C'mon, sis, tear her to shreds now! Make her cry in the ring..."

Round 2:
The ACB coaching staff remains silent during the interval and not even Yvonne Strahovski has the guts to tell Dannii anything about her performance, she's right on the money again early in the second, punching Chezza's tummy and searching for more uppercuts on the rack... Cole opens up from the top and swings around the head but is made look second best against the older brunette and gets nailed on the navel just before the minute mark and fails to spot another uppercut combo that give her chin a rough test... Cole's head snaps back & forth and before she can switch her position, Dannii tags her on the eye and keeps pouring through the guard, vicious jabs leave Cheryl's face swollen in no time and she winces in pain again, breaks down under the onslaught and eats more leather as Dannii swings on the temples and whacks Chezza from both flanks... "Hear those sluts singing in your ears..", Kylie's urges her sister to finish the pride of Newcastle on the spot and more hooks follow as Cheryl's moans turn into a frantic squeal before she gets nailed on the chin again in the middle of a one-sided punchfest AND CRASHES ONTO HER KNEES right at Minogue's feet... Posh & Geri lose their temper but even Liz Hurley has given up hope by now and can only stare at Kimberly Davies in the opposite corner... extremely long wait for the count saves Cole from epic downfall and she's up at eight, more like eighteen that was according to Kylie and we're still a full minute inside the clock... Dannii pours in with more jabs, now just pummelling Chezza's face non-stop, Geordie's worst nightmare raises it's head one more time as her head gets snapped around and just reels the Newcastle native onto the ropes and not giving anything back... "Eat that, Plastic Whore!", Dannii's in rampant mode and just pounding away in fury, she's got Cole trapped for good and unable to respond.. but there's no towel from Hurley and the destruction continues until Danni lands buries another uppercut on the chin with Cheryl mumbling her departure and SHE JACK-KNIFES at the Aussie's feet again, this time in no shape to even make an effort to get up and the supremacy is restored... KO2 Dannii Minogue in bulldozing fashion!!!

AFTER: "So much for the Plastic Whore! Way to go, sis!", Kylie leads the applause with the Ashes reaching it's conclusion in another extremely brutal way as Dannii Minogue signals for the Urn to be carried onto the ring and members of both organizations join the trophy ceremonies moments later. Cheryl's still down on her face and tries to regain her whereabouts courtesy of Victoria Beckham but she won't like what's being prepared for her next... and Dannii waits couple of minutes before making sure that the fallen Geordie knows exactly what's cooking... "Yep, one more time, whore... lose your panties or else I'll scratch them off your fat ass!!!" Everyone pays respect to the AWUBA featherweight legend even though Geri Halliwell looks particulary annoyed but she's got no other choice and finally there's a weak response from the battered Chezza who gets up still trembling and sporting few nasty lumps on her otherwise pretty face...

Dannii steps up to her and removes hair from her eyes to get a better look and Cheryl's lips are shaking in fear as she's endured another epic punchout at the hands of Minogue and just wants to pay her dues and get the heck out of here. "How quickly can someone turn Chezza's confidence into shreds?", Denise van Outen asks Kylie and there's little doubt the Geordie singer will keep having nightmares about the older brunette but for now she has her gloves removed and sure enough, she's removing her panties and really gives everyone a full view of her rose tattoo... "Drop them in the Urn, bytch!... anyone's got a light...", Kimberly sets the Urn on fire and Cheryl Cole's knickers officially turn to ashes in a matter of seconds as this were really a micro version on display... Cheryl's head drops on her shoulder as Geri wraps a towel around her derriere and spares more humiliation but Dannii wants more and grabs the Geordie brunette by the hair, turns around presses against the turnbuckle... she whispers something to the aching Brit's ear but even the ACB coaches finally want to finish the ceremonies and as a sobbing Chezza drops onto her stool, Kimberly Davies and Yvonne Strahovski take the Urn in their hands and hand it over to Elizabeth Hurley and Geri Halliwell on the BBU behalf... The trophy is back home as the event concludes... it's 9-8 for the hosts and with everyone in the ring posing for the closing photos we head upstairs to the studio and invite you all to the next edition of The Ashes coming next year where the might of ACB will try to take the Urn back to Melbourne where it supposedly belongs...

Final result: Dannii Minogue def. Cheryl Cole KO2.