ODDS AND BABES AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by simguy & The Wiz on October 20, 2013, 9:22 pm

BEFORE:

"Well, I don't exactly have the best of FCBA records," says Sarah with a smile. "And I know nobody's giving me a chance tonight. But, I'm better than people think. And, tonight, I just might surprise everyone."

"Yeah, she's lost some fights," says Pink with a nod. "But Morrison lost some, too. She's coming in here with a plan, you know? She's going to show up. And she's going to fight hard. And so am I."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Dreaming Of You' by The Coral and here comes Sarah Chalke..."

Tess: "Sarah representing Beever's Babes..."

McCarthy: "And ALSO representing the typical Dancing Hooker opponent, a girl with ZERO FCBA wins!"

O'Dell: "Sarah into the ring, helped off with the robe to reveal a red bikini that shows off a well-toned figure..."

McCarthy: "Not a PLAYMATE body, though..."

Cassie: "Mostly because she isn't filled with nearly enough silicone..."

McCarthy: "What are you SUGGESTING, Scabbo?"

Cassie: "I'm SAYING that the government is thisclose to declaring everything above your waist a Superfund Site and everything below it a Heavy Traffic Zone..."

McCarthy: "You LITTLE..."

O'Dell: "Aaaannnddd that's 'Trouble' you hear booming through the arena, and that can only mean the singer of said song, 'The Queen Of Front Street', Pink, is on her way to the ring..."

McCarthy: "I'd rather be Queen of a Superfund Site..."

O'Dell: "Pink getting the normal warm reception from the home crowd. Climbs into the ring, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that black bikini with the white skulls on it she favors, and the ladies are about ready. Tess on record as favoring Pink, what do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Well, as I've said before, Pink is the typical overrated Dancing Hooker who ducked me for YEARS, but Chalke has ZERO FCBA wins, so you have to favor the Hooker."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess..."

McCarthy: "I SWEAR, all we need is a parrot and a cracker..."

O'Dell: "All our ladies in agreement. Let's see if they're right. There's the bell for round one...Chalke quickly to the left jab. Sarah circling behind it, working to keep Pink off..."

McCarthy: "One advantage Sarah has here is her length. She has reach on Pink and should have the advantage if she can work at range..."

O'Dell: "And that's exactly what Sarah's doing right now. Pink bobbing and weaving. Working forward, going body a bit, but Sarah slips away and gets back to range..."

Cassie: "Chalke very busy right now. Throwing a lot of leather. Mixing rights with the lefts. Boxing Pink very well. Not a lot of power landing, but she's scoring..."

O'Dell: "Pink not really pressuring a lot. Content to slip a jab and hook the body on occasion. Mostly letting Chalke fight her fight right now."

Tess: "Pink sometimes more aggressive early, but I remember several fights where she's used a first round like it appears she's doing now, kind of getting an idea what her opponent wants to do before unwrapping the offense..."

McCarthy: "You ARE learning, Walmart. I remember a few of those as well. Not a strategy I encourage, because you never want to give away a point, but Pink's not the only fighter who employs it."

O'Dell: "Final seconds tick off in the first, and Chalke still working that jab, still busy, still scoring, and she's boxed her way to an early lead."

Cassie: "10-9, Sarah after one."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round underway and Chalke right back to the long left. Pink working past it now, hooking the body, busy in close. Chalke tying up. Shoving off. Looking to get space, but Pink has seen that script and she's all about a rewrite..."

McCarthy: "Chalke missing too much with the left right now. Pink using head and hand movement to dodge it and work past. Sarah needs to find range, because she doesn't want to work in here."

O'Dell: "Pink, however, thoroughly enjoying the close stuff. Banging leather off body in tight, mugging and mauling in there as Sarah tries, unsuccessfully, to create space."

Cassie: "Pink working her way up on occasion, but mostly content to thump body right now. Building up the points just like Sarah did last round."

O'Dell: "And that's just what she's doing as the final seconds tick off. Chalke with no answers right now, as Pink pounds the ribs right to the bell."

Tess: "All even at 19 after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round begins with Pink again working her way past Chalke's jab, getting in close and banging away..."

McCarthy: "This is why Pink ducked ME for years. She tried this with me, I'd have knocked her silly..."

O'Dell: "Chalke again tying up and shoving off, but Pink right back at her, not giving Sarah any space. Keeping the foot on the pedal. Pressuring steadily. Not giving Sarah room or time to breathe."

Cassie: "You know, Chalke's fought a lot at lightweight, and you'd think she might have the strength advantage against a bantam, but it's not the case. Pink powering out of her ties, shoving her way free."

O'Dell: "And dictating terms again this round. Pressuring as the final seconds tick away. Concentrating on the body, working upstairs on occasion, and in total control at the bell."

Tess: "29-28 in favor of Pink through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth begins much like the third ended, with Pink crowding Sarah Chalke, working past her jab, walking through right hands to get in close and work the body."

McCarthy: "Sarah's definitely in 'punch for respect' territory. She needs to get Pink's attention if she has any hope of keeping her off and fighting at range."

Tess: "Are you surprised at all that Pink's working inside so much, Mac? She's fought at lot at middle distances in previous fights..."

McCarthy: "Not really. Chalke is a very rangy bantam, so this game plan makes a lot of sense. Chalke has four inches on Pink, so why stay out on the end of her punches?"

O'Dell: "And that's exactly what Pink ISN'T doing. She's continuing to work past Sarah's defenses, get in tight, and go to work with both hands, again, mainly to the body. Chalke continues to tie up and retreat looking for space, but Pink not going to allow her to have any."

Cassie: "Chalke doing a good job with the feet to stay off the ropes, because she DEFINITELY doesn't want to be THERE..."

O'Dell: "Sarah backs and circles, staying away from that kind of trouble, but Pink having her way, in total control from the opening bell for the third round in a row. Final seconds tick away, and that's the end of the fourth, and Pink extends her lead."

Tess: "39-37 now, but it seems like a lot more than two points the way things are going."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Into the fifth now and Pink right back to the pressure. Chalke responding back now and the two fighters digging away at body in close. Sarah tying up, shoving Pink off, landing a pair of lefts before the singer closes and they're back to work in close quarters."

McCarthy: "Chalke a little adjustment here. Not trying to keep Pink off, instead working hard inside with her."

O'Dell: "Chalke tying Pink up around the head, hooking body with the other hand. Sarah very busy in there now, scoring well in the close exchanges."

Cassie: "Sarah outworking Pink right now. Give Chalke credit. Those last three rounds could have been disheartening, but she's still competing hard."

O'Dell: "And giving as good as she's getting this round. Very busy, willing to exchange in close. Both girls getting plenty of work done to the body right to the bell. Close round, but I think Chalke gets it."

McCarthy: "She does."

Tess: "And that makes it 48-47 through five. Sarah's not out of this thing."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth round begins with more pressure from Pink. The singer banging body and now going upstairs, backing Chalke up now, forcing Sarah to clinch, and now it's Pink shoving off and going back to work."

McCarthy: "Another little adjustment at play here. Pink more aggressive inside this round after Sarah was able to win the points in the fifth."

O'Dell: "No question that Pinkness is turning up the heat in a big way. Much more work up top this round, a lot busier, forcing Sarah backward more this round than she has in the other five combined..."

Tess: "Pink a VERY physical bantam. One of the most physical in the FCBA, and you're seeing that now. She's outmuscling Chalke, along with out hitting and out working her."

O'Dell: "Sarah remains game. Giving ground grudgingly, executing a fighting retreat, but Pink back in full control, working her way forward methodically, hooking ribs then landing a straight right to the head. Chalke still competing, but having her defenses breached again and again as the final seconds of the sixth round tick away. There's the bell and a no doubter for Pink."

Cassie: "58-56 for Pink now with four to go."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Into the seventh and Pink turning up the heat just a little more. Working past Sarah's defenses easily now, getting in close and going to work on Chalke's body. Sarah grimly firing back, but clearly taking the worst of it."

McCarthy: "Got to wonder how much more of this Sarah's going to be able to take before she breaks down. Pink getting in a lot of body work."

O'Dell: "No question, and, like in round six, she's working upstairs more often, backing Sarah up, forcing her to retreat and circle to avoid getting trapped on the ropes."

Cassie: "That's one of the things Sarah's done well tonight. And it's not the only one. She's adjusted. She's worked hard. This isn't bad stuff from Chalke at all. She's just in there with Top 20 bantam is all."

O'Dell: "And Pink looking every bit of that in this round. In total control as she has been for the majority of the fight. Scoring well with both hands, dictating terms, and forcing Sarah into a fighting retreat right to the bell. Another good round for Pink."

Tess: "68-65 now with three to go."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "Into the eighth now, and Sarah Chalke beating the over/under, wouldn't you say, Mac?"

McCarthy: "This girl is no lightweight. She was outgunned up there. But, she's showing she can compete at this weight."

O'Dell: "And she's competing hard. Tying up Pink when then singer gets inside, digging body with her free hand, landing a good right hand as Pink shoves free. The Front Streeter right back at Sarah, going body and Chalke responding in kind, wrapping around Pink's head with the left arm and hooking body with the right."

Tess: "This isn't bad stuff at ALL from Chalke. She's working hard, not backing down."

O'Dell: "And managing to be effective in close quarters, which isn't where she wants to fight. She's not letting Pink romp in there, using that length to tie up and slow down the singer, and working hard to do some scoring of her own. Both girls digging away right to the bell. Another close one, but I'm going Chalke, ladies..."

McCarthy: "Agreed. Good round for Sarah."

Cassie: "77-75 with two to go."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "Ninth underway and Pink immediately to the pressure. Sarah tying her up inside, Pink punching free, hooking the ribs with both hands, backing Chalke up with a right uppercut. Sarah quickly ties up again..."

Cassie: "LEFT UPPERCUT!"

O'Dell: "And it staggers Chalke! Pink wobbles Sarah's knees and goes to work!"

Cassie: "Pink fights right handed, so people forget she's a lefty and has more power in the left hand..."

Tess: "Just like another right handed Philly fighter whose power was in the left hand, Joe Frazier..."

O'Dell: "Chalke driven immediately to the ropes and Pink banging away with both hands looking for the finisher! Sarah covering up, high, tight guard. Pink determined to bring it down with some vicious body work. Chalke not going to cooperate, this side of a bit of a crouch with tight elbows. Referee looking closely, but Sarah doing just enough to keep him at bay..."

McCarthy: "This is by far Chalke's best FCBA work. She's game and gritty, won't give it up. I'm impressed."

O'Dell: "There's a good right hook from Pink! Wobbles Chalke again! But Sarah won't go down! Flurries back and takes a hard right hand that snapped her head back and sent sweat flying! Pink cleaning up in a big way, but there's the bell and Sarah's still standing!"

Tess: "Pink's round, obviously, so it's 87-84 going to the tenth."

ROUND TEN:

O'Dell: "Into the tenth and final and Pink wasting no time going right at Chalke, banging away and forcing Sarah backward. Chalke firming, though, seems to have the legs back. Pink again using that physicality to dictate terms, though, driving Sarah slowly backward as Chalke conducts another fighting retreat."

McCarthy: "Again, give Sarah credit. She's never looked like winning this fight, but she's competed. Hasn't allowed herself to get bullied. Hasn't given Pink anything."

O'Dell: "Pink not putting this thing on cruise control in the last round. Working just as hard as she has the entire fight. Not loading up for a finisher, but using constant pressure and a high work rate to keep Sarah defensive and force her backward."

Cassie: "Showing a little respect. Giving Chalke props for how hard she's fought. Not going to coast."

O'Dell: "And neither is Sarah. She's still fighting hard in a lost cause here in the final thirty seconds. Sarah hooks the body. Pink fires back with a good combination. Sarah answers with a left hook. Pink a hard right and that's the bell!"

Tess: "And Pink not the 'huggy' type, but there's a nice touch-em-up between the two fighters..."

McCarthy: "Now, THAT'S ok. All this hugging makes me want to HURL..."

O'Dell: "Not any doubt about the decision. Being announced now. 97-93 for your winner, 'The Queen Of Front Street', PINK!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Cassie Scerbo!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Pink, and, Pinkness, surprised by how hard she fought?"

Pink(smiling and shaking her head): "Nah. She's no quitter. She's been in tough her whole career and never backed away from anyone. I knew she'd fight hard. And she's not bad, either. Lot of girls she can beat at this weight. But, you know the story. Pinkness ain't one of 'em."