ODDS AND BABES AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by simguy & The Wiz on October 20, 2013, 9:27 pm

BEFORE:

"It's time for me to make my Asylum debut," says Meghan with a devastating smile. "Maybe I wouldn't have chosen to make it against a former bantamweight champion, but girls like me have to take fights where they can get them. Besides, I have nothing to lose tonight, and that's exactly how I'm going to fight."

"I know exactly what this is about for her," says Grace without a hint of a smile. "She wants to be the next big exotic. So, it's about making a splash. And she's going to go all in to do it. I get it. But she picked the wrong girl. Because the only splash tonight is going to be Meghan going down on her back."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "We're back at ringside and that's 'Faster Ride' by Cartel you hear and here comes the star of 'Suits', the lovely Meghan Markle!"

McCarthy: "Where does Weirdo come UP with these tomato cans? Another actress no one's heard of making her Asylum debut..."

Cassie: "You DO realize she's on a hit TV show, right?"

McCarthy: "Hit? I've never even HEARD of it! Don't tell me! It's some CABLE show..."

Cassie: "Says the woman who had her OWN cable show...which drew nowhere NEAR the ratings Meghan's gets..."

McCarthy: "I'm BIGGER than cable now! Unlike SOME people who have to do SYFY movies. It's network TV for me now. Little show you might have heard of called 'The View'!"

Cassie: "Truck, send Mac a new headset. Her head just expanded to the point where it broke the old one in half..."

McCarthy: "SHUT IT, SCABBO!"

Tess: "Cassie, having you here makes my job SO much easier..."

McCarthy: "DOUBLE SHUT IT, WALMART!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Drink up boys, and the truck is telling me the official rules call for DOUBLE shots for that one. Meghan into the ring, helped off with the robe to reveal a deep pink number the boys certainly seem to like...and that's The Ventures and 'Hawaii Five-O', and here comes the former bantamweight champion, 'The Korean Krusher', Grace Park..."

McCarthy: "And the fact that Park actually WON the title shows how badly the division slipped after I retired..."

Cassie: "Truck, another headset..."

McCarthy: "You're going to need another HEAD..."

O'Dell: "Grace into the ring, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that medium blue number she likes..."

McCarthy: "She doesn't wear white because, if she did, she'd look like a Q-tip..."

O'Dell(sighing): "And, the ladies are about ready. Tess on the record as picking Grace. Mac, what do you think?"

McCarthy: "Oh, no! I'm not going next so Scabbo can say 'I agree with Tess'!"

O'Dell: "It's like teaching kindergarten! Ok, Cassie, what do you think?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Mac?"

McCarthy: "I don't agree with EITHER of them!"

O'Dell: "So, you're picking Meghan?"

McCarthy: "Of COURSE not. Park's overrated like all the Dancing Hookers, but this Meghan Market..."

Tess: "Markle..."

McCarthy: "WhatEVER, has never even won an FCBA fight! I'm picking Park!"

Cassie: "Then, you AGREE with us..."

McCarthy: "NO, I DON'T!"

Tess: "Um, yes you do..."

McCarthy: "I DO NOT!"

O'Dell: "I'm going to take just a second here, fans, to make sure this entire Asylum gig isn't a bad mushroom trip from 2005. No? It's all really happening? Ok, then, there's the bell for the first. Park to work with that rangy left jab. Grace, of course, a very tall bantam and that reach is a problem for a lot of the girls in the division..."

Tess: "Not as much for Meghan, though, she's fairly tall for the weight herself. 5'7" in bare feet."

O'Dell: "Grace working the jab, dropping the odd right. Markle using her own left hand well, scoring with it nicely."

McCarthy: "Kid's got good hands and quick feet. She's moving very well, making Park work to find."

O'Dell: "And Grace DOES find her with that flurry! Good right hand in there shook Markle up! Park ANOTHER right and Megan backed up. Grace dialing in and ROCKING Markle with another right hand! Megan backed into the ropes, covering up. Park banging away looking for the off switch!"

Cassie: "Meghan looks about ready to go..."

O'Dell: "But there's the bell! Markle survives the first, but she's plenty unsteady on the way back to her corner."

Tess: "No question whose round that was. 10-9 Grace after one."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round begins with Park upping the pressure. Working forward behind the left hand. Backing Markle up. Meghan still game in there. Seems to have shaken off the buzz from the last round. Moving well, but being pre-empted offensively by Park's work rate..."

Cassie: "That's what Grace is known for, that conditioning and high work rate. Add that to her length and athleticism and you can see why she won the bantamweight championship..."

McCarthy: "Easy, stomach. Don't turn over now. Easy, girl..."

O'Dell: "Markle giving ground, staying mainly on the defensive, but fighting back defiantly in spots. This girl has plenty of compete in her, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Give her credit for that, at least. And there are some tools here. Given the right management, this girl might go places. Get somebody like Weirdo, and she'll go NOwhere, just like the rest of his Dancing Hookers."

O'Dell: "Park firmly in charge as we head into the final 30 seconds. Markle flurrying back on occasion, but it's Grace who's calling the match right now, pressuring Meghan, forcing her to cover up, and scoring with both hands to the bell. Another no-doubter."

Tess: "Which puts Grace up 20-18 through two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round begins with Park again pressuring. Working the left hand, coming forward, Meghan not retreating now, instead firing back, making Park cover up."

McCarthy: "Standing her ground might not be a bad idea here. She's been going backward for two rounds and that hasn't worked."

O'Dell: "Park aggressive as always, working hard, landing with both hands, but Markle responding in kind. Refusing to retreat. Good two-way action right now."

Cassie: "Meghan putting punches together pretty well. Working very hard in there."

O'Dell: "She is, indeed. This is good, crowd-pleasing stuff. Lots of action. Lots of leather finding the mark..."

Tess: "And a little of, 'you think THAT hurt, try THIS...'"

O'Dell: "Just a little. Markle a nice flurry as we head down the stretch. Park responds with good right hand and Megan lands a left-right at the bell! Exciting round, but I think Markle is on the scoreboard..."

McCarthy: "She is. She got the better of the scoring in that one."

Tess: "Which makes it 29-28 Grace through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round begins with a nice flurry from Park. That one backed Markle up!"

Cassie: "Grace right back at her, banging home punches in combination. Looks like she's not having that spirited resistance Meghan showed last round."

O'Dell: "Grace upping the pressure, working forward, forcing Meghan backward again as she did earlier in the fight."

Tess: "Landing that jab a lot. Really got the range on it. Working the right cross off it very well, and using that to force Meghan to the defensive."

O'Dell: "Markle covering up more and more as the round goes on. Can't get any offense going. Can't hold ground. Park in total command here..."

Cassie: "Tough for a girl with only one FCBA fight to go in there against a bantamweight champion. Park has a load of weapons and lots of experience, and right now, Markle has no answers."

O'Dell: "No, she does not. Park dominating into the final seconds, and there's the bell. It's a shutout fourth for Grace Park."

McCarthy: "Who now leads 39-37."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth round starts with a nasty barrage from Park that got Meghan's attention! There was a nice right hand in there and Park quickly following up, turning up the heat and going to work. Markle covering up, backing up, not hurt exactly, but maybe a little spooked..."

Cassie: "No question about it. And Grace very busy, not giving her a chance to get her feet set or get off."

O'Dell: "Park another good right hand, a four-punch flurry with ANOTHER good right in there. Markle backed toward the ropes, looking to tie up now, but Grace having none of it, punching free and ROCKING MEGHAN WITH A LEFT HOOK!"

Tess: "Markle's knees wobbled. She's in trouble!"

O'Dell: "Backed against the ropes in a high guard as Park goes to work. Megan nailed AGAIN, this time with the right hand that splits the guard. Markle shipping a lot of shell right now and proving to be plenty sturdy at the moment. Park firing away. Meghan doing just enough to prevent the stoppage, holding on, trying to run clock. Final seconds tick away and there's the bell! Shutout round for Park, but Markle hangs on!"

McCarthy: "49-46 through five."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Second half of the fight begins with ANOTHER sharp combination from Park! Grace zeroing in on Markle now, and really taking the fight to her!"

Cassie: "This is one of the things Uncle Wiz likes best about Park, the killer instinct. When she has a girl on the run, she knows how to finish."

O'Dell: "Park backing Markle up with a nasty three-punch combination. Meghan a bit rattled...AND NOW SHE'S WOBBLED! Straight right hand from Grace and Markle's knees did a shimmy!"

Cassie: "Like I said, killer instinct. You can see why Grace is a top contender and former champion..."

McCarthy: "I just threw up in my mouth a little..."

Cassie: "Which is preferable to your normal Sunday night, when you throw up in the gutter. A lot."

McCarthy: "You LITTLE..."

O'Dell: "Park bearing down on Markle now. Backing her into the ropes and going to work. Referee looking in as Grace surgically picks this girl apart, splitting the high guard with the left and banging a quick right hook into the briefly exposed cheek. Markle wobbly, hanging on desperately, jabbing back in spots, but taking a terrific beating with her back against the ropes..."

Tess: "Referee may want to think about stopping this..."

McCarthy: "Markle's still defending herself and still fighting back some. Making his decision tough..."

O'Dell: "Park clinical. Nothing rushed. Setting up punch after punch. Beating the heck out of Meghan, who, somehow, is shipping all this and remaining on her feet! Final seconds tick away, and there's the bell! A big, shutout round for Grace, but, again, Markle's still standng."

Tess: "59-55 with four to go."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Seventh round underway and Markle immediately to the offensive! Meghan going after Grace with both hands, forcing Park to cover up against a blizzard of leather!"

McCarthy: "Desperation stuff from Markle, but I like it. What do you have to lose?"

O'Dell: "Meghan like a buzz saw, firing away...AND PARK NAILS HER WITH A RIGHT HAND! Meghan wobbled and now Grace taking over!"

Cassie: "Uh oh..."

O'Dell: "Park rocks Markle with a left hook! Meghan staggered, but stays on her feet. Grace pouring forward behind. A barrage of leather, backs Markle to the ropes, now drives her into the corner above us and goes to work. Markle with the guard high and Park ripping punches into her exposed body. Meghan trying to crouch, but Grace stands her up with an uppercut between the gloves. Park banging punches off Markle's gloves, splits them with a right hand that snaps Meghan's head back..."

McCarthy: "What are you watching up there, ref? Get IN there!"

O'Dell: "Park not slowing her offensive a bit, pounding away at Markle, hooking the ribs with the right, bangs the lats with the left, you can hear the leather slamming into Meghan's body from where we're sitting..."

Tess: "This is an absolutely savage beating Park is meting out right now..."

Cassie: "Vicious."

O'Dell: "Referee looking closely as the sustained beatdown continues. Markle trapped in the corner, can't work free, reduced to holding on and covering up as Grace hammers away. Nasty hook to the midsection bunches Markle up, left uppercut straightens her...AND THERE'S THE OVERHAND RIGHT AND DOWN GOES MEGHAN! Markle spilling along the ropes, face down, parallel to the ropes as Park goes to a neutral corner and the count begins..."

McCarthy: "He should stop it now with no count..."

O'Dell: "Four. Five. Six. Seven. Going to be a moot point, Mac. Markle not moving. Nine. Ten! It's over! And your winner by KO7 is 'The Korean Krusher', Grace Park!"


AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I'm with our winner, Grace Park, and, Grace, that last round...was a message being sent?"

Grace: "Look, I don't have a problem with her. But, I fought for a long time to get to the top of the list of exotics around here, and I'm not going to have these girls trying to come in and take it from me. You do that, there's a price to be paid. Nothing personal. It's just business."