ODDS AND BABES AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by simguy & The Wiz on October 20, 2013, 9:32 pm

BEFORE:

"I know what everybody's thinking," says a hard-eyed Amanda. "We've seen this script before. A Front Street fly who needs a big win fighting Christina Ricci. And we all remember how it comes out. Well, I'm the girl who's going to flip the script on Christina. Watch and see."

"Ok, here's the thing," says a smiling Christina. "I'm under no illusions that Amanda is Jamie Lynn. Spears was broken when I got her. Seyfried isn't. But, broken or not, she's still isn't good enough. And she's still going to end up where Spears did. On the canvas."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Fight number five about to get underway and the sounds of ABBA's 'Mama Mia' fill the arena, and that can only mean that 'The Assassin', Amanda Seyfried, is on her way to the ring..."

McCarthy: "Or that Walmart is in her own personal hell..."

Tess(chuckling): "Definitely one of those two..."

O'Dell: "Seyfried into the ring, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that yellow bikini she favors..."

Cassie: "And the fans appreciate..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'The Underdog' by Spoon, one of the favorite groups of the lady coming down to the ring now, the former flyweight champion, Christina Ricci!"

McCarthy: "Ricci's already eliminated one Front Street flyweight, and I have no doubt she's going to do it again tonight..."

Tess: "Are you suggesting that if Amanda loses tonight..."

McCarthy: "Let me spell it out for you, Walmart. Weirdo is flavor of the month, as I've told you a hundred times. He's already dumped The Original Dancing Hooker, and he has a new fighter coming over from Lookout!, poor girl, whoever SHE is. Someone else has to go. Seyfried's had her chances. When she loses tonight, she'll be out the door!"

O'Dell: "Christina, of course, representing Odds and Ends boxing. She's into the ring. Helped off with the robe by the Odds and Ends corner to reveal a black number that does her body good. The ladies about ready. Let's get our picks. Or, should I say, 'pick', because Tess has already chosen Amanda and Mac has just indicated she favors Christina. Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess."

McCarthy: "UNREAL..."

O'Dell: "And there's the bell for the first, and these two right go right at one another, exchanging heavy shot right off the bell!"

McCarthy: "They're both aggressive, straight ahead fighters, Jenny, so this is no surprise."

O'Dell: "Seyfried very busy, letting both hands go. Christina a little slicker, dipping and slipping, countering off Seyfried misses. Amanda scoring plenty, though, finding the range. Ricci rallying back every time Seyfried lands something solid..."

Cassie: "This is good stuff from both fighters. A lot of leather finding the mark. Definitely crowd-pleasing stuff."

O'Dell: "Certainly is, Cassie, and neither lady slowing down as we come down the stretch, if anything, they're upping the work rate..."

McCarthy: "Classic move. Fight like heck the last 30 seconds of a close round and try to steal it..."

O'Dell: "And that's what both ladies are doing right to the bell! Excellent, action-packed first round. Seyfried's, but not by much..."

Tess: "And, if the judges saw it like we did, Amanda has the 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round begins with another heated exchange! Good punches landed by both girls in that one, and, just like in our last fight, neither one backing up a step!"

Tess: "You've got to like how Seyfried is coming after Christina here. Think she's sending a message, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Absolutely, Walmart. And the message is, 'I'm not Jamie Lynn Spears.'"

O'Dell: "Christina a NICE left-right...and Seyfried LIGHTS HER UP with a three-punch combination! Ricci lands a solid right hand in response, and Amanda sends sweat flying with a left hook!"

Cassie: "The crowd isn't the only group enjoying this. This is FUN!"

O'Dell: "Christina again a little slicker, looking to counter some off misses. Amanda more aggressive, very busy with both hands. Getting plenty behind everything she's throwing. And they're both doing plenty of throwing right to the bell! Second round in the books and another close one for Seyfried..."

Tess: "20-18 for Amanda. Good start for Seyfried."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Back to action in the third and our two flyweights are back at one another, sending out a barrage of heavy shell in all directions..."

Cassie: "Nothing sloppy about it, though, Jenny. Good footwork, both fighters getting in good position before letting the hands go. Just a lot of effective aggression."

O'Dell: "Ricci continuing to be the slicker of the two, showing plenty of head and shoulder movement, creating some misses that lead to good counters. Seyfried still locating very well, however, and landing lots of leather..."

McCarthy: "Interestingly, both girls mostly head hunting. Neither investing much in the body. Clearly both thinking the over/under on this one might be on the low side..."

O'Dell: "Ricci a SOLID right hand! Seyfried flurries right back and Christina a good left hook as we again head down the stretch with both girls turning on the afterburners. Leather flying right to the bell and it's another close one, but Christina and her counters might have had the better of it."

Tess: "29-28 Seyfried, but with three rounds this close, the judges could be seeing this much differently."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Back to work in the fourth and the action hasn't diminished for one second of this one. Ricci and Seyfried right back at one another, exchanging heavy shell. Neither backing up a step. Ricci a SOLID left hand...AND SEYFRIED DROP HER WITH A RIGHT HOOK!"

Cassie: "Timed it right over the left hand. Put Christina onto her glutes!"

O'Dell: "Seyfried to a neutral corner. Count at four. Five. Six. And Ricci to her feet at seven. Takes the mandatory, and here comes Amanda! Seyfried all over Ricci, driving her back into the ropes and going to work. Body stuff now to bring down that high guard, left hook wobbles Ricci again!"

McCarthy: "Christina in deep trouble here!"

O'Dell: "Seyfried ranging in, looking for the 'off' switch. Ricci hanging on, tying up, trying to run clock. Amanda punching free, NAILS Ricci with a straight right! Referee looking in. Christina ties up again. Referee breaks them. Seyfried a left hook...AND THERE'S THE BELL!"

McCarthy: "Good, crafty veteran stuff from Ricci. Did just enough to prevent the stoppage."

Tess: "But she didn't prevent the 10-8 round, which has Amanda up 39-36 on our cards."

ROUND FIVE

O'Dell: "Fifth round underway and Seyfried quickly to work consolidating her gains. Amanda right at Christina, banging away, backing Ricci up, forcing her onto the defensive..."

McCarthy: "Christina not all the way back yet, and Seyfried taking full advantage."

O'Dell: "Nothing hurried or out of control. Amanda setting up her punches, doing some body work, staying on Ricci, not letting her get any kind of offense going..."

Cassie: "More good stuff from Seyfried. Making sure Christina doesn't respond to that knockdown. Suppressing her with volume."

O'Dell: "And effective volume at that. Ricci firing back only in spots as Seyfried continues to fight lead. Ricci's been forced to give ground the entire round, and Amanda has her backing up right to the final bell. Another excellent round for Seyfried."

Tess: "49-45 Amanda at the half way point. Ricci's in a hole."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth round underway and Seyfried right back at Christina with a hard right hand and Ricci responding with a good flurry of her own. Christina seems to have shaken the knockdown off, and we're back to the same terms as the first few rounds, both ladies very aggressive, very busy, lots of leather landing."

McCarthy: "Ricci again working some counters. Trying to make Seyfried miss and take advantage. Working to a point, but Amanda's landing more than she's missing."

O'Dell: "As usual, Christina at a size disadvantage, but not at a power disadvantage. She's giving as good as she gets as the two busty flys mix it up. There's some body work going on, but it's mostly upstairs now as Amanda tries to keep the run going and Christina works to break Seyfried's momentum."

Cassie: "No surprise, but this is gritty stuff from Ricci. She's determined to regain the initiative in this thing."

O'Dell: "And she's working plenty hard to do it, because she's HAVING to work plenty hard to do it. Down the stretch we come with both ladies landing leather. Final seconds tick off and there's the bell. Excellent, action-packed round. Ricci. But not by much."

Tess: "58-55 with four to go. Important round for Ricci."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Seventh round begins with a blistering exchange! Both girls landed solid in that one and Ricci rocks Seyfried with a follow up right hand! Amanda buzzed a little and Christina looking to follow up..."

Cassie: "Best punch of the fight for Ricci and she's looking to make something big out of this..."

O'Dell: "Christina backing Amanda up for the first time...and now Seyfried stops Christina cold with a right hook! Ricci did a wobble and now it's Seyfried coming forward and Christina giving ground..."

McCarthy: "Ricci got a little too aggressive right there. Got caught pressing."

O'Dell: "But Ricci firms up quickly and lands another solid right hand that got Amanda's attention! Christina now back to fighting lead and Seyfried being forced to the defensive. Amanda lands a solid counter and Christina a good left hook. They're going AT it now as we wind down to the bell. Amanda rocks Ricci with a right hand and Christina rings Seyfried's bell with a right of her own just as the timekeeper rings the actual bell ending a wild seventh!"

Tess: "Ricci's round, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Close one, but, yes."

Cassie: "67-65 with three to go. And, however this ends up, these two have put on a show!"

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "Eighth of a scheduled ten underway in a competive, hard-hitting bout and the ladies are right back at one another. Seyfried lands a nice left hook and Ricci flurries back with a good combination..."

McCarthy: "With all these close rounds, these last three may very well decide the fight and both girls know it. They're going hard and not going to leave anything in the tank."

O'Dell: "Amanda a hard left hook...AND DOWN GOES SEYFRIED! RICCI A RIGHT HAND COUNTER KNOCKS AMANDA FLAT TO HER BACK!"

Cassie: "That punch was like a lightning strike!"

O'Dell: "And it did about that much damage! Ricci to a neutral corner. Seyfried still on her back at three. Four. Five. Six. Rolls to hands and knees at seven. Eight. Nine...She can't get to her feet! Ten! It's over! And your winner by KO8 is Christina Ricci!"

McCarthy: "And we've just seen the last of Amanda Seyfried as a Dancing Hooker! Book it. She's gone!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I'm with our winner, Christina Ricci, and, Christina, huge comeback win for you tonight..."

Christina: "She got me in a little hole, but I was never worried. I knew I'd get her. Here's the thing. Some of these girls, they aren't bad or anything, but they aren't champions. That's the difference between them and me. In the end, champions come out on top. And that's just what I did."