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30 November 2013 Leelee Sobieski vs Cat Bell

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 1 month ago

Catherine Bell 11.jpg

"Five Witches and a Queen at the Asylum" PPV

(Site: Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on November 30, 2013, 11:20 pm

BEFORE:

"I remember the last time," says a hard-eyed Leelee. "She could barely stand when it ended and she got the one-point win. And, that was MY fault. I didn't get enough done. Lesson learned."

"It's 1-1 career between Leelee and I," says a smiling Cat. "Tonight, we'll have the rubber match. And my money is on the Hall of Famer."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "We're back at ringside and that's 'Uprising' by Muse and here comes 'The Polish Princess', Leelee Sobieski!"

Tess: "As always, things at Asylum go according to boxing protocol, and, as Cat Bell won the last fight between these two, she gets the honors of coming out last..."

O'Dell: "Sobieski down the aisle with a nod for our colleague J-Mac..."

Tess: "Leelee and Torv are the only REAL fighters IN Weirdo's stable..."

O'Dell: "The blonde into the ring, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal the black number she usually wears..."

McCarthy: "What the heck is THAT song?"

O'Dell: "That would be 'Seven Nation Army' by the White Stripes, one of the favored musical artists of the lady heading down the aisle as we speak, the great Cat Bell!"

Cassie: "Bell, of course, representing The Academy, but she's not exactly on good terms with management these days..."

McCarthy: "I note the cameras aren't panning the crowd to find other stable members in attendance. Mostly because there aren't any..."

O'Dell: "Bell into the ring and helped off with the robe by The Academy corner crew to reveal a silver number that shows off another excellent 40+ body. And, the ladies are about ready, so let's get some picks. Tess favors Leelee, what about you, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Bell's still got it. She proved that against Theron. But Sobieski's tough and smart. She's going to win this thing."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "And, here we go. Leelee right to work with that big left hand. Popping that heavy jab home. Bell staying defensive, slick, keeping the hands up, looking to counter. Sobieski not giving her much of a chance, suppressing with the left, hooking off it with the right."

McCarthy: "Veteran stuff from Bell here. Not going to burn a lot of energy early. Going to let Leelee fight lead."

O'Dell: "And that fits in with Sobieski's plans quite nicely. Leelee advancing behind the left hand. Bell sliding right, away from Leelee's power, popping back in counter on occasion, but not very busy. Leelee on the other hand is using that big sledgehammer left to excellent effect. Scoring and controlling..."

McCarthy: "Go ahead and say it one of you two! You know you want to!"

Cassie(whistling)

O'Dell: "Final 30 seconds now, and Sobieski running up the score. Landing more and more frequently with the left hand. Scoring with the right in follow. Bell still on the defensive, countering, but only able to land single shot stuff. Can't put punches together. And there's the bell ending the first, and it's a good round for Leelee."

Tess: "Considering their last fight came down to a single point, that 10-9 lead may be important."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round begins the way the first ended, with Sobieski on the offensive..."

Cassie: "Second verse, same as the first..."

McCarthy: "What ARE you talking about, Scabbo?"

Cassie: "I'm surprised you don't remember that. It's 'Henry VIII', that's from your era..."

McCarthy: "I was NOT alive in the 1500s!"

Cassie: "She thinks Maryann Webster is a person, but she knows when Henry VIII lived off the top of her head..."

McCarthy: "I happen to be a big Anne Boleyn fan!"

O'Dell: "Can we get back to BOXING, please, and stop talking about Herman's Hermits and people who've been dead for 500 years?"

McCarthy: "I was talking about Henry VIII not Herman or Kermit. But I LOVE Kermit on 'The Muppet Show'. I've always wanted to be a guest host on that series...hey, why haven't I ever been a guest host on that series???"

Tess: "Because it was cancelled in 1981!"

McCarthy: "Oh. Well THAT'S a good reason..."

O'Dell: "For the fans at home, yes, I do go home after these, go down to the basement, sit in the dark, and get BLIND DRUNK. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Sobieski still fighting lead. Bell remains content to answer in counter, showing a lot of veteran cageyness on defense..."

Cassie: "Leelee working very hard. She's not forcing anything, but she's going after Bell and scoring well with both hands, especially with the big left jab...."

O'Dell: "We've talked enough about that one-point loss the last time these two fought, but it's clearly on Sobieski's mind. She's taking nothing for granted, keeping her foot on the pedal, scoring at every opportunity as Bell looks to be conserving energy early. Leelee not concerned about that, remaining on the offensive right to the bell, and she's won her second consecutive round."

Tess: "And now leads it 20-18."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Into the third now and it's still an aggressive Leelee Sobieski. Leelee very busy with that heavy jab and a GOOD right hand counter by Bell! Cat's best punch of the fight. Sobieski shakes it off and goes back to work and ANOTHER good counter from Bell..."

McCarthy: "This is what Bell's been looking to set up. Spent the first two rounds probing, looking to see where the openings were. Now she's got it figured and she's picking her spots...and there's ANOTHER good right hand counter. That one stung Sobieski!"

O'Dell: "Sure did! And Bell quickly takes advantage with a nice flurry. Backed Leelee up and threw her onto the defensive for the first time. Cat fighting lead for a few seconds, then allows Leelee to take over again. Sobieski back to the left hand and ANOTHER right hand counter..."

Cassie: "And this does a couple of things for Bell. Obviously, she's scoring and hurting Leelee, but the other thing doing this in counter does is make your opponent tentative. How eager is she to commit to something when you're landing power shots in response..."

O'Dell: "And that's exactly what's Bell's continuing to do. Picking her spots, but, when she finds the openings, she's landing heavy leather. Sobieski's been buzzed more than once this round, and those power shots have slowed her offense down and allowed Bell to take command of the ring. Final seconds ticking off in this one, and there's the bell. And Cat has her first round of the night."

Tess: "29-28 through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Back to action in the fourth and Leelee back to work. Going right back to that big left hand...and NAILS Bell with a right hand follow. Sobieski not showing any hesitancy now as she's aggressively at Bell with both hands, landing another heavy right hand..."

McCarthy: "There are two ways to deal with getting hurt like Leelee did last round. You can get careful and get taken out of your game, or you can get after her. And Sobieski's getting after her!"

O'Dell: "She absolutely is. Bell firing back in counter, but Sobieski suppressing her with heavy fire from both hands. She ROCKS bell with a right hand that backs her up a step! Sobieski coming forward behind the left, backing Bell up again with another good right!"

Cassie: "Leelee thinking big right now, and she should be! She has Bell hurt, not with one punch, but with a barrage of punches she's landed this round."

O'Dell: "And she's pouring in the heavy shot! Bell wobbly, driven back into the ropes and Leelee now going all in, hammering at the brunette, who's covering up and hanging on. Sobieski head hunting now, looking for the 'Off' switch. Cat wobbled again with a right hand. Referee looking closely. Right hand Leelee and Bell's knees did a shimmy! Left hook Sobieski and Bell wobbles again...and there's the bell! Cat survives it somehow and is unsteady on the way back to the corner."

Tess: "No doubt who won that round. 39-37 Sobieski after four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "The fifth round begins with more aggression from Leelee. Sobieski after Bell, advancing behind that big left hand. Cat giving ground, looking to counter...AND LEELEE DROPS HER WITH A STRAIGHT RIGHT!"

McCarthy: "Timed it off the left, dropped Cat to her right side and Bell is in trouble!"

O'Dell: "Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Bell to her feet at eight. Referee gives her the mandatory...and he's going to let it continue. Sobieski right to work, backing Cat into the ropes and letting the hands go. Bell firing right back now and here we go!"

Cassie: "Leelee going all in, wants the stoppage, and Bell's not going to punk! She's battling back like the Hall of Famer she is!"

O'Dell: "And it's an absolute SHELLING contest. Both fighters loading up the big guns and firing them all. Cat fighting off the ropes and back to the middle of the ring, but the heavy exchanges continue! This is Leelee trying to impose will and Cat not having any. Fans on their feet as we go down the stretch, neither woman slowing down, both emptying the magazines! Final seconds tick off and there's the bell!"

Tess: "Nice rally from Cat, but it's still Leelee's round 10-8, and Sobieski now in command 49-45."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth round begins with Sobieski AGAIN on the attack..."

McCarthy: "With a lead like she has, some fighters might dial this back and box some, but, lesson learned from Leelee, she's staying on the offensive..."

O'Dell: "And she's zeroing in with that right hand, backing Bell up with it. Cat stubbornly firing back, but Sobieski keeps driving forward, STICKING that left and using the power right to shake Bell. Cat GOOD right hand...AND SOBIESKI STAGGERS HER WITH A RIGHT OF HER OWN! Bell wobbled again and Leelee battering her back to the ropes..."

Cassie: "Sobieski on a mission here, Jenny. She doesn't want this going to the cards no matter what the score is..."

O'Dell: "And the blonde is all OVER Bell! Sends sweat flying with a right hand, sends bell wobbling along the ropes with a left hook, splits the gloves again with an uppercut. Bell leaning back in the ropes, covering up. Sobieski a spits the gloves with a straight right that snaps Cat's head back! Bell's legs do a shimmy...AND IT'S OVER! Referee has seen enough and he bundles Cat to safety! Your winner by TKO6 is 'The Polish Princess', Leelee Sobieski!"

Tess: "And, odd as it may sound to hear it, they're celebrating at The Academy..."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and a special guest interviewer, Jenny McCarthy!"

McCarthy: "Thank you, Jenny, and I have our winner, Leelee 'No Excuses' Sobieski, and Leelee, you didn't mess around in there tonight..."

Leelee: "She's a Hall of Famer, Mac. She's still plenty dangerous. The book says to box her. Take her into deep water and beat her on the cards. Know what? The book is FULL of it. That's what we did last time and it cost us. Today, we were going for this thing from the opening bell. It wasn't getting to any cards. If she could get me out of there, then raise her hand. If not, she was mine."

McCarthy: "What's next for Leelee Sobieski?"

Leelee(smiling): "Not my call. But wish Gena good luck in that title fight. And remind her I'm still around."