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31 December 2013 Intro Seasons Beatings at the Ayslum PPV

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years ago

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on December 31, 2013, 10:52 am

O'Dell: "You are looking LIVE at the sold out Asylum Arena in Philadelphia, and, tonight, we've got guests from three FCBA stables, Kear's Kats, Lookout! Atlantic, and Odds and Ends, joining us. I'm Jenny O'Dell, joined as always by Tractorpull's Tess Valmore, Bazz bad girl Cassie Scerbo, and hey, look at this, despite the efforts of Kate Beckinsale, The Loose Cannon of The FCBA, The Straw That Stirs The Drink, Jenny 'Mac The Knife' McCarthy!"

McCarthy: "Beckinsale is an overrated windbag who couldn't hold my microphone's JOCKSTRAP! I'm the star of this show, and even The Weirdo KNOWS it!"

Tess: "Wait...rewind that..."

Cassie: "Tess, hand me that trash can. I think I'm going to be sick..."

McCarthy: "Shut UP, Scabbo!"

O'Dell: "We've got some interesting fights here tonight, Mac..."

McCarthy: "We certainly do, since one of Front Street's two REAL fighters, Anna Torv, will be in action against Bar Refa'eli..."

Tess: "We also have the beautiful Brooklyn Decker vs. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Ke$ha battling Gisele Bundchen..."

McCarthy: "Bunch of models who can't fight and a singer who looks like her last shower was when Ben Franklin was president..."

Tess: "Ben Franklin was NOT..."

Cassie: "Aaannndd let's not forget, three of the FCBA's Top 20 bantams are in action, with Grace Park against Alice Eve, Neve Campbell battling Jewel Staite, and Allison 'Mack The Knife' Mack climbing into the ring against Jamie-Lynn Sigler!"

McCarthy: "I don't see a Top 20 bantam in THAT group anywhere. The division sure has slipped since I retired..."

Cassie: "But, its average IQ went up about 30 points, so there's that..."

McCarthy: "You LITTLE..."

O'Dell: "Calm down, Mac, and let's get ready for our traditional final card of the year! 'Season's Beatings At The Asylum' is NEXT!"