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31 December 2013 Ke$ha vs Gisele Bundchen

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years ago

Kesha 03.jpg Gisele Bundchen 03.jpg

SEASON'S BEATINGS AT THE ASYLUM PPV

(Site: The Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on December 31, 2013, 10:55 am,

BEFORE:

"Why am I here," says Gisele with a shake of the head. "That's what you want to ask. Why am I, the hottest, most famous supermodel in the world wasting my time fighting some no-talent singer? Well, I will tell you. I'm tired of girls like Lima, Decker, Upton, and Swanepoel getting great fights while I, their superior, am forced to stand on the sidelines! I took Decker and Swanepoel the distance, and since? They have all ducked me! All of them. For 21 months I have challenged them, and they avoid me! So, today, I'm going to get their attention! I'm going to beat up Ke$ha right under Decker's nose! Then, Decker will have to fight me, and, when I beat her, the others will have to accept my challenges, and I'll step over all of them to claim my rightful place as the FCBA's top supermodel!"

"Did you understand any of that?" asks Ke$ha with a mischevious smile. "I mean, that got awfully complicated! Fortunately, for Big K, this is going to be really simple. Ke$ha'S going to hit Gisele with the big left hand. And Gisele's going to fall down go BOOM!"

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Come On' by Blackcowboy and here comes the Brazilian Bombshell, Gisele Bundchen!"

McCarthy: "Bundchen is a typical Dancing Hooker opponent. Seven fights. One win. And the win was against Paulina Porizkova, who was about 75 at the time!"

(Dead air)

O'Dell: "Oh. I was waiting for a remark from Cassie or Tess..."

Cassie: "Too..."

Tess: "...easy!"

McCarthy: "I'm in the Christmas spirit, but don't push it, you two!"

O'Dell: "Bundchen into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a sea foam green number that the crowd appreciates..."

McCarthy: "Not bad. But there are 40 girls at The Mansion with better bodies..."

Cassie: "...through chemistry..."

McCarthy: "Scabbo, I'm warning you for the last time, you little ELF..."

O'Dell: "Calm down, Mac and feast your ears on 'Tik-Tok', the theme song and first of eleven Top Ten hits for the lady coming down to ringside right now, 'Six Feet of Sexy', Ke$ha!"

(Dead air)

O'Dell: "Sorry, again, fans. I was waiting for Mac to make a remark about Ke$ha's hygiene..."

McCarthy: "Like I said, Christmas spirit."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Britney to reveal that navy blue number she likes, and we're just about ready. Let's get some picks, ladies. Tess likes Ke$ha. What do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Well, this kid is raw and poorly trained, but she has physical skills. If I had her at Sceej, she'd become a champion. That'll never happen at Front Street, but, despite the poor training, she's good enough to beat Bundchen."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess."

O'Dell: "And, here we go. Giselle quickly forward, but Ke$ha immediately to the big right jab, stopping Bundchen's advance and holding her at bay..."

Cassie: "Ke$ha is tall and has long arms, and, like a lot of girls like that, she prefers to fight at range, and she's learning how to use that right jab to keep her opponents there."

O'Dell: "Bundchen wants to close distance a bit, but Ke$ha not having it...AND A LEFT HOOK ROCKS GISELE!"

Tess: "Ke$ha really timed it! Snapped out the jab, Gisele leaned her head right to avoid it, and Ke$ha blasted the hook into it!"

O'Dell: "And Big K wasting no time going after Bundchen, backing her into the ropes with a barrage of punches. Gisele grabbing and holding, making Ke$ha wrestle free..."

McCarthy: "Gisele just wants to survive now, and if she can frustrate Ke$ha, which she's doing, as well as run clock, so much the better."

O'Dell: "Ke$ha shoving Gisele away, gets a couple of punches off, but Bundchen ties up again. Ke$ha again shoves her off, but Gisele wrestling and grabbing, holding her opponent's arms, ignoring the referee's orders to break. Final seconds tick off, and Gisele survives the first."

Cassie: "It was Ke$ha bell-to-bell, but it only says 10-9 on the scorecards."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round begins with Ke$ha now aggressively after Gisele. The singer backing the model up with that sledgehammer jab. Gisele a fighting retreat, refusing to give ground willingly, but being forced backward by a determined Ke$ha."

McCarthy: "Bundchen needs to find a way to manage distance. She does not want to be on the end of Ke$ha's punches."

O'Dell: "And that's where she finds herself at the moment. The singer moving forward, range-finding with that right hand...OVERHAND LEFT AND DOWN GOES BUNDCHEN!"

Cassie: "Just BLASTED her with that big left! Drove her head onto her left shoulder and Gisele rag dolled to the canvas!"

O'Dell: "Bundchen on her back, hands above her head, unmoving as the count reaches four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's over, just 45 seconds into the second round, and your winner by KO2 is 'Six Feet Of Sexy', Ke$ha!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Ke$ha, and, Big K, do you have an appointment or something?"

Ke$ha: "I told everybody coming in, Tess, that this would be really simple. Big left hand. Gisele in la la land. Hey, that's not bad. I might have to use that in a song."

Tess: "So, what's next for Ke$ha?"

Ke$ha: "Whomever they put in front of me, I'll fight. Have Hammer Of Thor, will travel, you know?"