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31 December 2013 Meghan Markle vs Dichen Lachman

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years ago

Meghan Markle.jpg Dichen Lachman 02.jpg

CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK

Posted by simguy on December 31, 2013, 6:10 pm

BEFORE: It's axiomatic in the FCBA that "pretty girls get chances". Still, it's also axiomatic that "pretty girls take what they want", and Meghan Markle knows there's a certain natural tension between those two rules. "I know I have to beat girls to get spots," Meghan admits in prefight. "I don't want to be just another Laura Vandervoort or Troian Bellisario - getting fights because I look awesome on the scales. In my heart, I know I'm the type of girl who beats Dichen Lachman every time. And when you're beating Dichen and looking great, that's how you get noticed, how you get ahead in this sport. She's not getting in my way. I'm a little bulldozer where she's concerned!"

Dichen anxious to shine, knowing that Meghan represents a great opportunity to position going into 2014. "Meghan put the polish to Troian - but Bellisario and Markle are two peas in a sub-par pod," Dichen shrugs derisively. "We saw the real deal against Jen Morrison. We saw the Meggy Marks who blows her wad in the first round, then quits when she doesn't get her way. At least she got to Morrison a little bit - that won't happen against me. I won't stand for Meghan's scrubbing crap in this fight - it's gonna be me touching her, controlling her, all night long. She's still going to quit, but it's going to be because of the punishment I inflict, not because she exhausted herself trying to take me out."

Meghan in white cashmere crochet bikini (tawdry); shiny black hair in reckless tangles; white gloves. Dichen with blonde hair back in smooth low pony; hot pink bikini against golden-brown skin; black gloves.

During R1: Midring - Dichen slide-stepping to her right, dragging that front (left) foot, right hand shoulder-high, left at waist. Meghan keyed up, eyes wide, fists at tits as she's looking to step in and scrub. Dichen leaning in to pour rangy right hands in over Meghan's left shoulder, shooting for jawline; lapping a low slung, big wind-up left hook against Meghan's tummy, then puh-pumpin' the jab to jug as Meghan's looking to answer. Markle snarling, whirling thumbside-up lefts and rights to Dichen's ribs, but walking through jabs to do it, and eating flailing right/lefts in toe to toe receipts. Crowd pleasing stuff - two willowy-limbed beauties hitting each other hard, each making herself available to what the other's doing, in spots. Midway through, Dichen slams a right to Meghan's left ear that sends a tremor down Markle's sleek thighs...brunette stumbles to her right, spilling out of orbit, staring at a sweeping left hook that juuust grazes Meghan's parted lips. Ropes...Dichen hard-eyed, setting up behind a probing jab: she's touching at Meghan's raised guard, pawing at her, then leaning in to feed her that rangy right cross. Markle cowering behind her mitts does a good job blocking the shots, but it's Dichen getting off in orderly fashion, just laying a pasting on Meghan to bell.

R2: Meghan having better luck, being disruptive, being first. She's belting away side to side on Dichen's slender ribs, forcing blonde retreats: Meghan gambling in pursuit, throwing hard right hands to head, lunging in with hooks. Lachman leggy, using the ring, but she's on her heels - usually leaning away from Meghan's head-hunting shots, but taking a thumping dose to flanks as Markle's able to walk Dichen down and stay on her. Down the stretch, Dichen able to punch for respect, walking Meghan into a sticky left uppercut to chin; trading right crosses to chin; spanking away to jug with lanky, slap-chopping action to bell.

R3: Meghan with good hounding pursuit again - lathering to ribs when she's close; lunging at Dichen's head when blonde girl's disengaging. Dichen taking the punishment well, but she's cranky about it, frowning, giving ground...she can't get into rhythm, can't set her stance and punch hard at Meghan in receipt.

R4: Dichen commits, standing in the pocket, leaning in and jamming that limber right cross to Meghan's jaw/ear over the left shoulder - blonde girl doubling and tripling that shot whenever Meghan stumbles in receipt. Markle able to take it well for the most part, and answer with vigor: more swabbing mileage applied the problem of Dichen's sleek, golden-brown ribcage. Meghan swishing away side to side at times - hair in her eyes, thumbs pointing up as she drubs away on Dichen...blonde girl covering up more often now, seemingly wilting under Markle's relentless onslaught.

R5: All Dichen all the time as Meghan can't get position. Lachman organized in wide stance, jamming the lead right in over Meghan's left shoulder; cleaning up tummy with that swinging, lanky left hook; pivoting counter-clockwise around the lead (left) foot, turning Meghan, jabbing her jugs to keep her docile. Meghan covering up earmuff, turning waiting for spots, but she's getting turned-and-touched, if not hurt through 5.

R6: Best two way slugging of the fight as women fight hard for initiative. Dichen hammering that right hand in over Meg's left shoulder, scoring well, doubling up on it. Markle bludgeoned, but continuing to press, clouting away ribs-and-tits on Dichen before blonde girl can pivot-out. Down the stretch, Dichen pulls out all the stops - chopping in the right to jaw OVER Meg's shoulder; sliding the right uppercut to chin UNDER Meghan's left shoulder; slapping Meghan off balance with limber, wide left hook clean-up clouts to face. Bell: fierce, hard look Dichen to Meghan...Lachman really trying to impose her will, physically and psychologically through 6.

R7: Meghan gets to Dichen early with that swishing body-scrub...blonde girl crying out, cringing, reaching to tie up around Markle's neck/shoulders. Meghan won't have it - driving forward in the clinch, hands free and pumpin' to Dichen's flat tummy...overheated furball of girl hits ropes - Meghan on top and working. Dichen finally able to tie up Markle's arms for ref's break, but blonde girl's stricken, hurt...Meghan the aggressor, pushing against the ref's hand as he's creating room; rushing back in on Dichen as Lachman sags on ropes. It's Meghan in her element - teeth bared, hair in her eyes, fists swirling in tight, side to side arcs, thumbs pointed up as mitts bounce off Dichen's head/guard/lats. Every once in a while, Meghan will break rhythm to concentrate on cutting left hooks in under Dichen's elbows - chopping at slender blonde girl with palm-up delivery. Hardhearted stuff - Dichen's eyes spill tears at bell, buoying Meghan's spirits when she sees the tracks shining on delicate blonde cheekbones.

R8: Dichen still shabby with hurt - she doesn't sidestep in time to evade Meghan's rush. Markle overwhelming her blonde, beating Dichen clubbing lefts and rights about head/shoulders/lats as Lachman covers up, staggers to ropes. Dichen in distress, cringing face-in-gloves, sitting into ropes as Markle bounces fists off hated blonde torso. Meghan huffing and puffing as she pours it on - occasionally riding her left hand on Dichen's right shoulder while strapping helpless blonde girl thudding wide rights to flank. Dichen groaning, ashen-faced, emerging from her cocoon to tie up under Meghan's arms: Markle slapping away at Dichen's hips/flanks until ref's breaks. Down the stretch, Meghan exhausted, arm-wearing...Dichen able to organize in the pocket, taking body shots in her elbows, then answer back jerking little left or right uppercuts from the ropes.

R9: Meghan pours it on, gambling that her energy reserves will outlast Dichen's ability to absorb. It's Markle-on-Lachman scrubbing action all along the ropes...poor Dichen cringing behind her mitts, stumble-sliding to her right, occasionally turning her right shoulder into ropes take Meghan's clobbering right hands in the back. Lachman weepy, but still managing clinches, her mouth open on Meghan's shoulder until ref can reef 'em apart. Markle able to keep it up bell to bell - not hurting Dichen now, but throwing a blanket over her nonetheless.

R10: More Meghan volume as she hounds Dichen to ropes, works her over. Markle clearly exhausted, mouth wide open, but SO determined! She's lathering away on Dichen, belting her a constant beat of thumbside-up lefts and rights. Not much left on Meghan's punches, but Dichen's distraught, ass-kicked, basically just cowering against ropes, letting fists bounce off her tight flanks or protected noggin, then tying up. Down the stretch, Meghan's just slapping ineffectively...Dichen able to fit her tormentress for a series of lanky left hooks to chin off the right plant-leg, but it's too little too late. Comes back the UD10 for Meghan Markle.

AFter: Dichen somber, downcast as Meghan's hand is raised: exotic blonde was even after 6, and appeared to be pulling away, when Markle stepped on the gas pedal. "I just worked her ass non-stop," a weary Markle grins in postfight. "You know, she's got that rangy, awkward look, always trying to get outside your left shoulder, but whatever...I just took whatever she had to offer and hit her back with more and better. She's tuffer than Troi obviously, but basically she's the same girl: once I got into her ribcage good and deep, she didn't want to fight. That's how I get girls beat, guys: I'm on 'em all night, stealing their legs, making 'em quit. They go back to their corners, and they don't stop vibrating from my pounding until it's time to start again!"