Posted by Simguy on 5/2/2008, 7:16 am.

Before:  Celebrity fight weekend at The Atlantic Resort (Bahamas) pits Billie Piper against Rachel Stevens in La Conquista and beach boxing.. Billie taking the weekend as preparation for a long anticipated US invasion: she’s hyped in Britain as the “UK Elisha Cuthbert” for her compact, busty build. Stevens a little outsized but she’s had more experience with the gloves: “Billie’s dreams are going to take a fearful knock against me,” Stevens predicts in British fighting tabloids, Billie in pastel bandeau with pale mauve/green/blue florals on white background; blonde hair up in messy beach pile; white gloves. Rachel in sturdy navy bikini with bra strap top—but wearing straps down to give a bandeau look; dirty blonde hair pulled back in makeshift beach twist; white gloves. Girls fight on private Atlantic contest beach; hotel guests only; no ring.

During R1: Rachel aggressive, testing ingénue blonde with an overhand right—ducking down and staying low on follow-through as Billie’s right swishes over top: Rachel pops down and staying low on follow-through as Billie’s right swishes over top: Rache pops out of the crouch, lips Billie a tidy left hook to chops. Piper shifts feet, but stands her ground—two good knocks absorbed without visible effect. Robust exchanges as Rache stays a medium range—punching then crouching to slip receipt—hesitation timing helping her score. Piper stronger however: clubbing blows that Rache even in her shoulders, move the popstar off her stance: Stevens generally fighting in retreat as Billie walks her down, Late big by Rachel to win the round: she edges in close, shrugs a pair of beefy, compact left hooks across Billie’s bulging bandeau. Snarling Piper back with bludgeoning hail of lefts and rights—battering Rachel about her head and chest: Stevens crosses her arms high as she’s backing out in alarm. Round to Billie—emphatic.

R2,3: Billie proving her advantages—she’s a little taller, a little heavier, deeper chested=--she’s taking the fight to Rachel. Girls just creep-stepping in on hot sand, crouching  down, pawing for each other with jabs—very supple-waisted stuff as girls bend/lean in and out, Piper enthusiastically punching at Rachel—beating Stevens consistently about her chest and pecs, both biceps, ribs and waist, Uppercuts from Billie are shirt and to the point—picking Rachel’s chin up and startling the S-Clubber. Nothing fancy—it’s Billie marching on Rachel, backing her up, giving her a good sunkissed trouncing minute after minute after minute. No stools during the breaks—ref just parts the girls: Rachel standing hands on hips, head back as her trainer jets water into her mouth; Billie stalking a patch if sand, swinging her arms out loose, rolling her head—glancing periodically at Rachel.

R4,5: Rachel firms—more competitive rounds develop as both girls get off. First three rounds saw the girls fight with some distance between them—rotating their torsos, pawing jabs and being supple: these rounds more blunt—girls closing to bump guards and heads before clubbing each other, Set position is guard-on-guard—girls sensing each other—then one or the other will bat away strong right/lefts, buffeting her foe about the ears or flanks, Billie scooping at Rachel paunch from the side, really pounding at beef: no question Piper’s landing the heavier, louder leather. Piper loves to double up: she’ll beat Rachel two roundhouse rights in the flank, shunting Stevens to her right with a grimace; she’ll hook Rachel’s breasts twice, backing Rachel up. Stevens plucky and competitive, giving up ground only grudgingly and after trading punches for it—but Billie’s just the stronger lass. Piper breezy, smiling after 5: Rachel scowling, looking down into sand as she walks about during the breaks, thinking through what to do.

R6: Similar stuff—that guards-on rubbing ready position—then Billie POURS it to Rachel with renewed vigor. Stevens cramping up, retreating in pain as Piper commits 100% to body: big, beefy whacks taking Rachel in her waist, bashing the air out of her. Moving forward again, Billie’s supremely effective—stepping into robust haymakers, clobbering at Rachel’s curvy biceps and tanned flanks: Stevens staggering under the weight of Billie’s shot. Rachel unraveling, unable to hold her ground: it’s all Piper in thudding, hamhanded fashion—she’s simply slamming away, helping herself to tummy, tits and chin. Down the stretch, Billie bounces a frisky lead right off Steven’s face—stunning her; follows up with a pair of thumping hooks in Rachel’s breasts, knocking the frazzled beauty backwards to a seat on the sand. Billie swish-stepping past all smiles: Rachel blinking, clearly rocked as she sits in wonder at Billie’s thump. During the break, white-jacketed hotel officials congregate about Stevens, asking her if she wants to go on: Billie a few feet away, hands on hips, listening in, joking with nearly onlookers that “Rachel’s had it.”

R7: Billie pounds out her 6^th straight, looking at constructing a Beating of the Year candidate as Rachel can’t hold her ground. Stevens sullen, covering up/crouching forward as Piper’s healthy mitts bounce off torso with meaty spanks: we’ve seen this movie before, Piper rarely threatened—eyes bright, face intent as she goes at her girl with hard, unhurried punches, Billie taking the time to really dig her punches in behind Rachel’s elbows or stuff’em thick to paunch or jug: Piper popping her hips and really getting into Rachel, not just slapping at her, Stevens proves durable; most of the round sees her wandering about face-in-gloves, absorbing Piper’s clout—but Rache keeps her feet throughout the drubbing. Stevens shopworn, but again, telling officials she’s good to continue.

R8: Rachel firms, punching-with and catching Billie as Piper’s output drops, Mouth on shoulder—girls pressing in tight, feeling the others' intentions, then trying to beat her to the punch with sudden flurries. Lots of pushing and walking each other around—Stevens’ backside trembling with the effort of bodying Piper back, but Rachel finally able to get Billie to backpedal some. Girls cram away punches out of the lock up, squirming to fit leather to tummy. Down the stretch, Rachel bumps the left shoulder, then catches Billie a clipped right uppercut in close: Piper brushed upright, eyes blinking—she’s stunned! Rachel leans in, carrying a short-chopping right to Billie’s jaw; shifty torso-right to pull the left hook onto Billie’s breasts, then stakes all on a pouring right to chin as Billie’s tottering backward. PIPER GOES DOWN! Billie buffeted to her back in the sand—she sits up in amazement, shaking her head as Rachel swish-steps past all hands-on-hips and seething. Piper beats the count, but she’s stooped over behind her mitts: Rachel salts away the round with thick, straight-armed, batting rights and lefts bounced hard off Billie’s available hips. Break: Piper blinking back tears, flustered to find some fight in Rachel after all.

R9: Billie proves a trooper—shaking off the knockdown and storming out for the ninth to get right back inside with Rachel. Hardhearted jamming and wedging of leather into jiggling little bodies—girls in there mouth on shoulder and struggling for punching room underneath It’s all Billie--Rachel groaning as her glutes fail and she’s forced to back uo: Piper’s stocky legs digging in, pushing forward as she digs mitts to meat. Thick, swatting blows across Rachel’s paunch soften her up: Billie working up-torso to flatten breasts/batter biceps and kick-back the face. Right uppercut late from Billie straightens Rachel in swoon: fat left/right on the gut doubles Rachel up—she backs away while hugging her body/bending forward, sinking to one knee in agony. Billie raises her mitts, smiles as small crowd claps in appreciation.

R10: All Billie: Rachel too proud, too sturdy to go down, but she absorbs a fearful shelling for no reason as this fight’s all wrapped up for Piper. Billie going about her duty methodically, cheerfully--lustily sweeping fat right hands to Rachel’s waist and grinning as Stevens staggers under the stroke, Billie hopping after her stumbling prey—constantly closing on Rachel and cleaning up: Piper just looking to get close, slug compact and batter her opponent numb. Bell to bell Billie—fight ends to the sight of Piper throwing hooks at Rachel’s chest as Stevens tries desperately to hold her guard in place. Comes back UD10 wide, Billie Piper.

After: Good showing for Piper—she came in favoured and except for one hiccup in the 8^th, thoroughly dominated her fellow Brit-pop rival. For Rachel: more aches, pains, lumps and bruises, She leaves the beach still haunted by that “lost battle” against Hayden Panettiere and the punch-that-might-have-been. How different would things have been for Rachel if Hayden had stayed down after that booming right hand? On the other hand, Piper well positioned to jump from the Bahamas to North American, with offers already on the table and the rudiments of a career falling into place.

Reposted by Archer 2/23/13.