Posted by Simguy on 5/29/2008, 6:11 pm.

Before Zeta Jones under siege; Hurley hardpressed against Cat Deeley: young Britain finally showing spirit enough to challenge their long-reigning oppressor. “It has been far too long,” Cat says of the Zeta Jones/Hurley aristocracy in Britain. “I love that we’re challenging these women here in the New World—there’s a music to that, a rightness. UK fighting has been so stagnant under the weight of these hideous old bags: it’s good to see the young talent finally shining through. America is the perfect place for Hurley to be soundly thrashed—perfect!” Liz fighting for the first time in the U.S. since retiring from Tech Unlimited—she’s got news for Cat Deeley. ”I’m far from the damaged goods that Jones is,” Liz reports. “My body still shames these up starts, and U can still fight 10 hard rounds. Cat’s in for heartbreak: she’s expecting the old grey mare, but she’s the one getting ridden in this bout.” Deeley long and shapely in a teal S-curve one-piece that covers about as much flesh as a bikini; white gloves; white go-go look boxing boots. Liz equally leggy in a green fighting bikini from her signature line; yellow gloves; yellow boxing boots to midcalf.

During R1: Liz in southpaw stance (right foot forward, right jabs); Cat showing orthodox (left foot forward, left jabs). Counterclockwise rotation--girls steppin’ tall—Liz consistently keeping her right foot outside Cat’s left. Minute mark: Liz with a shoulder-feint, brings the hesitation straight left up the middle, startling Cat. Lanky right hook, Liz—followed by a pair of slinging lefts—heavy clouting blows to Cat’s chin, sending her wide eyed and reeling. Ropes: Deeley covers up earmuff, shook: Liz steps in with the right hand extended, then leaning forward to stop the left hand wide to right ear. Smarting blow—Cat takes it well: blonde answers back a jagged left uppercut/tidy right cross to back Liz off, Hurley eyes narrowed--pins Cat down with furtive right jabs, then nails her the straight left—splitting Cat’s mitts, punching her face back tart. Back and forth like that—Liz attacking warily that ropes: Cat absorbing punishment, but proving durable, scrabbling back in spots.

R2: Girls rotating gently counter-clockwise: once again Liz’s footwork seems more educated than Cat’s. Neither lass rushing: Liz penetrating with sudden straight lefts, dipping down to her right on follow through and weaving her torso as she recovers her stance. Cat crisp punching, bit missing a high percentage: blonde showing a classy left hand, demonstrating jabs, hooks, and uppercuts with it. Hurley sneakier, cuter, more sinuous: straight lefts and wide slapping left hands and are finding Cat’s face with alarming consistency through 2.

R3: Cat pumps quality jabs, suppresses Liz’s activity to take the initiative. Midway through, nice adjustment from Cat sees her shift to the left, open her stance a little, dip the left shoulder to rip a hard left uppercut to Liz’s chin, followed by the whistling right. Hurley chin-checked, staggers to her left before stabilizing, Cat baring her teeth, fetching Hurley willowy, batting left hooks in her flank: Hurley wincing, issues fight’s first clinches, Ref’s break: Cat’s hungrier fir battle, pushing forward and banging torso with rights and lefts. Liz sliding back, bending and leaning, weaving and bobbing: when she hits ropes, she ducks low, edges her shoulder into Cat’s tummy to nudge her off. Deeley foiled somewhat by Hurley slithering torso-moves: blonde busy with hooks-off-the-jab, just not landing much as Liz relaxes in the pocket.

R4: Series of hard, pinpoint potshots sees Liz score repeatedly to Cat Deeley’s face. Hurley baiting Cat midring, getting her to extend, then nailing her that sneaky left hand straight off the shoulder. Deeley just not seeing the southpaw angles well—constantly facing into harm, seemingly shocked when Liz pounds face. Hurley landing the left, then circling away—she’s just placing a shot, moving, luring Cat in, then scoring all over again in slow, thoughtful engagements all around the ring.

R5: Cat aggressive early, legs lively and fresh: sheer pressure puts Liz to ropes, forcing her to duck low and get cute with her shoulder. Middle minute—Liz starts to take the play away—running Cat onto irregular lead left hands and swiping right hook chasers: Deeley repeatedly caught looking, clearly uncomfortable with a lefty. Hurley punching with a pleasing elasticity—elbows in close to her body as she swipes and jots her licks. Down the stretch, Cat visibly breaking down: Liz drops a slick left hand off her shoulder onto Cat’s face—doubles it to punch the mouthpiece off Deeley’s teeth, Cat staggers back on her heels: Liz walks her down all lanky and superior—right hand dangling at her side, left at her tummy. Cat hits ropes in astonishment: Liz strides in, bends down and to the right, pulling a whipping left hand over the top to smash Cat’s head back. Deeley bounced off the ropes—dropping to hands and knees: clapping blast brings a smile to Liz’s cruel lips as she struts away all leggy.

R6,7,8: Cat plucky, brave, but deteriorating. She’s not shut out of any round, but Liz is clearly taking it to the blonde, hurting her at will, placing hard left hands to head and body. Hurley in and out as she pleases: her legs are in control while Deeley’s look a little rubbery. Brunette feinting/dropping cute lead lefts; doubling up elastic lefts with that elbow-in hatchet chop delivery; bending inn to sling wider lefts to jaw or tummy. Hurley not neglecting the right hand—jabbing Cat’s face puffy; hooking Cat’s chin off smart left hands; ripping uppercuts to set up vicious left hands as Liz leans in close off the Deeley left shoulder. Deeley frequently punched out of her stance, staggering and rallying—she’s headhunting, but rarely finding her elusive quarry. Hurley smirking at each bell, seeking out Cat’s demoralized eyes: Liz imposing herself physically and psychologically on a disheveled Cat through 8.

R9: Crowd moans in sympathy as Liz leans in, nails Cat that doubled-up lead left hand midway through. Deeley ragdolled at ropes, eyes blinking: Liz eases in close, jerks a shorty right hand uppercut to chin; shifts weight to left (back) foot to pull the right hook across, catching Cat with plenty of elbow on follow through,. Deeley rocked, earmuffing up: Liz leans in on right foot, dragging a sumptuous left hand thick and whippy to Cat’s straining midsection. Fleshy plop of the bodyshot beats a blurt of hurt past. Cat’s lips: she’s butt in ropes, suffering now. Deeley’s strong legs hold her up to the bell: Liz loose and relaxed, easing weight to either foot as she lathers her into stupor.

R10: Liz landing so clean to Cat’s face: blonde beauty tragically beaten tonight, all puffed up and sore. Hurley able to land off feints, jarring Cat’s head—then Liz dipping and slipping, falling off to the side, sinuously sidestepping her foe. Cat turning—very game, occasionally finding Liz with the short left uppercut/right hand combo that had Hurley hurt early. No magic-in-a-bottle for Cat though: Liz riding out the punches, scoring much cleaner, more startling blows of her own to greedily take the 1oth, and the duke. UD10 Hurley—9 rounds to 1.

After: Cat Deeley heartbroken: widely expected to unseat Liz—tall blonde handed a very comprehensive beating, surviving only because if her long, strong legs. Hurley preening: precision undiminished—beautiful, effective performance sets the bar pretty high fir Catherine Zeta Jones later in the evening.

Reposted by Archer 3/10/14.