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31 August 2014 Pamela Anderson vs Grace Park

Page history last edited by Vassago 9 years, 4 months ago

"BAZZ AND BUNNIES AT THE ASYLUM"

Posted by The Grand Wizard on August 31, 2014, 9:38 pm

BEFORE:

"I do most of my fighting on the carpets these days," says Pam with a smile that still produces at least a million watts. "But, I like to keep my hand in in the ring, and when I heard Front Street was doing a PLAYBOY card, I just HAD to come."

"She's always had the physical tools," says Grace with a nod. "If she'd concentrated on boxing, who knows? She'd probably have been a champion. She's still in shape. She can still hit. She's still dangerous. And she'd love to make a splash tonight. She picked the wrong girl to try that against, though. The wrong girl."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Save Me' by Peter Cetera, and, as that song was the theme from 'Baywatch'..."

McCarthy: "That wasn't the theme from 'Baywatch'! The 'Baywatch' theme was from that Survivor guy..."

Tess: "Actually, that song, 'I'm Always Here' by Jimi Jamison, was the theme for the syndicated version. The ORIGINAL NBC theme is the song you're hearing right now..."

O'Dell: "And, if we're done with 'Obscure Stuff About TV Themes', let's take a look at the lady coming down to the ring, the iconic Pamela Anderson!"

Cassie: "Pam, of course, is the most famous living Playmate..."

McCarthy: "Tess, take my pulse, because, apparently I'm DEAD and nobody told me..."

O'Dell(sighing): "Anderson into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a red bikini and a body that looks mighty fine for a woman in her 40s..."

McCarthy: "Just as overrated NOW as it was THEN..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'Hawaii Five-O' by The Ventures, and here comes the star of that series, 'The Korean Krusher', Grace Park..."

McCarthy: "Can SOMEbody...if you're out there in the audience, feel free to reach out to us electronically and explain if you can...why I, the Greatest Fighting Playmate of All Time, and the Playmate of the Freakin' Century, am sitting ringside at a PLAYBOY card, and in the ring is a girl who isn't fit to carry my spit bucket, while, coming down to ringside is a girl who wouldn't be curvy enough for Playboy if you put her in a FUNHOUSE MIRROR...DON'T YOU EYE ME, PARK! I'LL SLAP THE UGLY RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE..."

O'Dell: "Now, calm DOWN, Mac! I'd much rather stay on the air than subject boxing fans to Zombie Werepanther vs. Undead SquidShark..."

McCarthy: "That..."

O'Dell: "Starring Tara Reid..."

McCarthy: "With HER record, Reid should get nowhere NEAR the FCBA, and that INCLUDES having one of her movies replace FCBA programming..."

Cassie: "Mac?"

McCarthy: "What, Scabbo?"

Cassie: "Why aren't YOU in that movie?"

O'Dell: "Oh, for..."

McCarthy: "Wait...I was up for a part in THAT! SIRI, CALL MY AGENT!"

Tess: "Have I mentioned how much I LOVE having you on the broadcasts, Cassandra Lynn?"

Cassie: "Once or twice..."

O'Dell: "Have I mentioned that I've suggested to HBO that I do the broadcasts like Cosell did? Solo?"

Cassie: "Did they mention that UNCLE WIZ picks the announcers?"

O'Dell: "They might have. Park into the ring, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that medium blue bikini she likes, and we're about ready to go. Let's get some picks, ladies. Tess like Grace. Mac?"

McCarthy: "This is a FARCE, two girls I could stop without breaking a sweat. I predict J-Mac by KO against either of them. Against BOTH of them back to back!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess."

O'Dell: "And, though I thought it would NEVER come, there's the bell. And Anderson off the stool and right after Park! Pam winging away, wants to slug, and Grace not having any. Park in full retreat here in the face of Hurricane Pam!"

Tess: "Not a bad strategy by Anderson. She's looking for something big right away. No point in trying to box with Park."

O'Dell: "And she is absolutely NOT trying. Pam coming forward, crowing Grace, swinging heavy leather. Park giving ground, trying to jab for some space, but Anderson not going to give her any, walking forward in a high guard and swinging away."

McCarthy: "Ridiculous! A REAL fighter would stand her ground instead of RUNNING like Park is!"

Cassie: "Grace isn't dumb. She knows Pam's best chance to win is to land something big. No sense giving her a better chance to do that."

O'Dell: "That appears to be Park's thinking. Grace backing, circling, jabbing some, stabilizing her front a bit as the round goes on. Grace trying to use that long left poke to slow Pam. Doing it some here in the final seconds, but Anderson still throwing BOMBS right to the bell. Excellent first round for Pam!"

Tess: "Not sure how long she can keep that up, but that WAS an excellent round, and Pam up 10-9 early."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round begins with Pam again aggressively after Grace. Park now banging out the left jab, getting space with it, slowing Pam's advance, picking her up on the way in with the right. Anderson still advancing, but now taking heavy shell as she does so."

Cassie: "This is what Grace wants right now. She likes to work inside, which isn't common for a tall girl, but she can be very effective at range with all that reach and the high work rate, and that's what you're seeing now."

O'Dell: "Grace in rhythm, picking Pam up again and again as Anderson tries to close, tries to get in position to land some of the big right hands she was winging in the first. Not happening for her this round. Too much fire from Grace. Park very accurate and very busy..."

McCarthy: "And she needs every one of those punches to add up, because she has ZERO power..."

Tess: "Not true, Mac. Park's stopped girls like Vaugier, McAdams, and Valance..."

Cassie: "AND McCarthy..."

McCarthy: "That was a lucky punch and SHUT UP, SCABBO!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Grace really getting it going as the round winds down. Anderson taking a shelling. Pam covering up more and more as the round goes on. Can't get anything going, not even able to get much forward movement now. Park just sniping away from distance right to the bell, and she's on the board."

Tess: "19-19 after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round underway and Park right back to work. Grace has the range with that long left jab and she's using it to pepper Pam, control her, work her into positions where Grace can use the right hand."

Cassie: "A lot of activity from Grace, as usual. The usually high work rate increasing even more in the third."

O'Dell: "Constant shelling from Park now backing Pam up for the first time. Anderson being almost completely suppressed now, as Park forces her to cover up again and again. Grace backing Pam toward the ropes. Anderson trying to hold canvas, but can't do it..."

McCarthy: "If I were in there, it would be a different story. Q-tip girl wouldn't be backing ME up!"

O'Dell: "Anderson against the ropes now, firing back some in counter as we head down the stretch, but Grace is landing three for every one Pam throws. Anderson now trying to get space and can't do it. Park all over her at the ropes. The blonde firing back strongly in the final seconds and a huge exchange at the bell! Spirited resistance from Pam at the end, but a great round for Grace."

Tess: "And Park now in the lead 29-28 after three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round begins with Anderson charging forward and almost tackling Grace, forcing Park up against the ropes almost immediately and going to work inside. Grace banging back and we have some serious body work going on. Pam clinching, wrestling with Park along the ropes, banging body when she gets a hand free..."

McCarthy: "This is the way to handle the human toothpick! Get physical with her!"

O'Dell: "And that's what Anderson is doing. It's sloppy grab, hold, and wrestle stuff. Referee getting in there and breaking, Park managing to get off the ropes, but Pam grabbing quickly, clinching, banging body. Park trying to punch free, but Anderson keeps tangling her up, wrestling her backward."

Cassie: "As I said earlier, Grace likes to fight inside, but she's having trouble getting her arms free to punch right now. Pam said pre-fight that she still does a lot of wrestling on the carpets, and she's doing plenty of it in the ring at the moment."

O'Dell: "Park shoving Pam off, landing a right hand, but Anderson ties up, hooks the body, forces Grace back a couple of steps. Referee breaks, but Pam right back to the clinch. Final seconds rolling off the clock in the fourth, and there's the bell. Very sloppy stuff on both sides, but Pam's round."

Tess: "And we're now even at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth round starts and Park NAILS Anderson with a sharp combination! Pam trying to close, but Grace not having any. Park using a back slide step to create the distance and ranging in with the left hand, stopping Pam in her tracks with follow up rights. Anderson now in that high guard, trying to get forward to tie up, but Park creating distance with the feet and punishing Pam as she tries to move in."

Cassie: "This is good stuff from Grace. She's getting some serious work done on Anderson. Scuffing her up some."

O'Dell: "That she is. Park again controlling the Playmate with that long left jab, setting her up for solid rights, snapping Pam's head back with a good right hand right there. Anderson still game, still working to close, but she's having little success doing so and paying a price for trying it."

Tess: "Give Pam credit. She's still pretty sturdy. She's shipping a lot of shell and still coming forward."

McCarthy: "Again, that's because Park is a TWIG who can't punch!"

O'Dell: "Final 30 seconds of the fifth and Park now backing Pam up again. Grace with that high work rate often wears girls down near the end of rounds and that may be what's happening now. Pam backed to the ropes, taking heavy fire, again responding now with some sharp counters in spots. And there's the bell. All Grace all the time in the fifth."

Tess: "48-47 at the halfway point."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth begins with Anderson again looking to close. Park touching her up from range, slowing the pursuit, using the back slide step to maintain the distances she wants. Anderson aggressive. Still has her legs under her in the sixth of a scheduled ten despite the high work rate from Grace."

Tess: "Anderson is certainly still in shape and has plenty of compete in her. She's had trouble with Park's skill and length, but that's true of a lot of bantams."

O'Dell: "Pam determinedly working forward, wants to close and bang. Grace maintaining distance, doesn't want anymore of the wrestling match we saw in the fourth. Anderson stopped with a flurry. Park slides back and left. Pam forward AND DOWN SHE GOES! Straight right from Grace right on the button and Anderson is down on her back!"

McCarthy: "Ridiculous! Park couldn't hurt ME if she hit me with her stool!"

O'Dell: "Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Six. Pam unmoving. Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's over! And your winner by KO6 is 'The Korean Krusher', Grace Park!"

Cassie: "Check the replay on this. Grace with that back slide step, Pam steps forward and BAM! Perfectly timed right hand. Snaps the head back and down goes Anderson. Great punch from Park."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Grace Park, and, Grace, things got pretty physical in there..."

Grace: "She's still strong and in great shape. She wanted to wrestle around and brawl in there, because she knew she couldn't box with me. I just had to make sure I kept her off and got my work done."

Tess: "What's next for you?"

Grace(smiling): "You know, I wouldn't turn down a chance to get the belts back. Just sayin'."