If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

31 October 2014 Cat Bell vs Nicola McLean

Page history last edited by Archer844 9 years, 2 months ago

Catherine Bell 14.jpeg Nicola McLean 02.jpg

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on October 31, 2014, 10:04 am

Cat Bell (Brunette, 46yo, 5'10”) vs. Nicola McLean (Blond, 32yo, 5'10”) JMD fight:
Words: simgrrl; result: Lookout

Before: Fourteen! What's in a number? Well, this number describes, more/less accurately, not just the age difference between Cat “close to 50” Bell and Nicola McLean, but also the difference in their bust measurements. Bell, (35D) and McLean (32GG) both know there's “experience” on Bell's side of the ledger, but there's no denying McLean is a huge favourite of fans who prefer their fighters busty. She's also pretty good, having compiled an impressive record in 12 fights (10 wins, w/9 KOs!). “When that big boobed blond hit's 'em, they stay hit,” one British boxing scribe who hasa seen the brawling “glamour model” from Metropolitan London in action. English odds makers agree, having opened Nicola as a 10:1 favourite with the odds against Bell rapidly climbing until they stopped taking bets altogether!
Many forget that Cat Bell was also born in London....a lifetime ago. Now she's “all American” and while that helps sell tickets here in the U. S. of A., it won't help her inside the ring. Still, there are things in Bell's favour in this fight. She's fought far more difficult opponents; she's only had one fight this year, last month - but it was against the always tough Gena Lee Nolin, so Cat should be fit. Bell has fought more in 2013 than in 2011 and 2012 combined, so she's been increasing her workload. And while the door has probably been closed, locked, and barred on her chances of winning another title (at least until the promotion approves a “senior” title) she's stayed active by facing some of the top welters around.

McLean, by comparison, has fought primarily in England where the competition is at least a rung lower than in North America. That said, the girls she fought were the top tier of talent available and she's knocked out nine of the twelve she's faced, so she obviously packs a wallop with either hand. Some of the more notable women who have fallen to McLean are less than household names this side of the 'pond' but they're mostly big, strong, and sturdy. Women like Wunmi Mosaku, Sabrina Washington, Michelle Ryan, Ricki-Lee Coulter and Jumeela Jamil would be competitive in any welter field.
* * *
Erika Heynitz (38 yo) was the reigning welter champ when she beat McLean and she's one of the toughest big women in Australia - a country with a rep for turning out good welterweight women for decades. Tamsin Egerton (26 yo) claims McLean's only other loss. Tamsin established herself as a powerhouse in Great Britain where she boxes and wrestles between film and TV commitments.

Heynitz, when asked about Bell's chances, shrugged, “When I fought Nicola they made a big thing about my age but it didn't hurt me any. I stopped her in the sixth round. I expect Bell has to end the fight sooner, rather than later, but anything can happen in a ring - especially with two big, strong, hard-punching, women. I like Bell for her experience. Nicola tends to get a little rattled in front of big crowds sometimes. It's rather different than posing for a cameraman in a quiet photo shoot!”

* * *
Cat was uncharacteristically understated, perhaps due to the fact that in her few TV appearances, interviewers were more interested in asking her about Charlize Theron's fight with the hugely popular singer, Katy Perry, than Bell and McLean - who is far from 'known' in the US. What little Cat said tended to be bland and non-inflammatory; always a good thing to be when you're facing someone who is not only as big as you are, but half your age! “She looks like a handful in the videos I've see,” Cat said. “I'm hoping Gena Lee Nolin will have been a good tune-up prepping for Nicola who has a similar body type, but is younger and far less experienced than Gena Lee.”
* * *
Cat Bell in recent years has resorted more and more to 'outre' ring attire. Some say it's because, as she's nearing fifty y/o, she's been required to show 'skin' to keep the promoters happy - and stay employed! Whatever, tonight she's in a leopard print thong bikini. Short dark brown hair, red gloves and black shoes complete Cat's ensemble.

McLean on the other hand, has never been shy about putting her 32GG assets front and center in her career as a tabloid model. Her abbreviated costume this evening leaves little to the imagination and - judging by Bell's wide-eyed, mouth-agape, expression - it's pretty clear Cat had no idea what she was in for in that department! Nicola's wearing a slingshot. All in all, a highly provocative get up...and one likely to be put under a strain in the battle to come.
* * *
The referee is struggling with his composure giving the last minute instructions to the fighters, Nicola leaning in trying to hear over the roar of the crowd who are vocal in their approval of the costumes of both women. But it's not the referee McLean is paying attention so much as Cat Bell...or more specifically, Cat's breasts, which are bulging in the tiny little triangles that look to be at any second about to lose their battle with her pulchritude. Finally, Nicola thrusts forward, driving her gigantically enhanced hooters into Cat's. Bell's proud beauties rammed upward, Bell reeled back, red-faced. McLean giggling like a schoolgirl. Bell angrily threw herself at Nicola, slamming tits first into the blonde's projecting prow. McLean stumbled back, but came back at Bell with fists raised but the ref jumped in to keep them apart. He reminded them, “You're here to fight, but wait for the bell. And give me a chance to get out of the way...” adding with a stern glare at Ms McLean's awesomely heaving cleavage, “....before you kill me with those things.” He sent both women to their corners as fans ringside hooted and shouted advice to both women how best to deal with her opponent's obvious assets. (Most of it unfit for a family newspaper...but read it on-line at our web site.)

In the opposite corner, McLean's seconds (Frankie's publicist Mylene Klass and trainer-of-record in California, Kelly Rowland (who owns wins over Anna Torv, Elisabeth Rohm and Aly Michalka) exchanged snickering hi-fives as Nicola came bouncing back all jiggly and giggly. Clearly, upsetting Bell had been merely the opening salvo in their fight strategy - using Ms McLean's 'big guns' for the first shot.

* * *
During R1: There may not have been smoke coming from Cat Bell's ears when the bell rang, but you wouldn't have known it from the outraged expression on her face as she charged out of corner to attacked McLean with both fists! Nicola ducked, dodged - and sometimes cowered - behind her raised gloves and tucked in elbows, as she bravely weathered the storm of leather unleashed by 'wild' Cat Bell. After almost a minute of non-stop punching, Cat stopped and backed off; chest heaving impressively, face flushed. Nicola slowly rose her head up from behind her gloves, looked at Cat and grinned. She nodded as if to say, 'good', then marched up to Bell and snapped a crisp, straight jab into the brunette's face. Cat blinked like a women who'd just awakened from a dream, then took a quick step to her right just in time to avoid being pole-axed by an overhand right labeled for her chin!

The second minute of the round saw Nicola McLean repay Cat in full for her fusillade of fists in the first minute. Unlike Bell who had been head-hunting with a vengeance; Ms McLean availed herself of generous helpings of Cat's body. Nicola hammering hard punches into Cat's paunch, then when she tried to protect her tormented tummy, McLean raised her sights to pound puppies. By the end of the second minute of the opening round, both womens heavy breasts were sloshing, bouncing, jiggling and jumpin'. Nicola, particularly, seemed to delight in smacking Cat's 'pride and joys' around with fists, open palms and the occasional elbow when an opportunity presented itself in a clinch or along the ropes. Eventually, the blonde also ran out of gas and the momentum shifted once again. With Nicola huffing and puffing, Cat was able to take advantage of the reduction in Nicola's punch rate to settle herself and begin to pick the busty British Bombshell apart with her jab. Time and again, Cat snapped Nicola's head back with several jabs, then rocked her back on her heels with a big right hand. Nicola fought the final thirty seconds of the first round with her butt stuffed between the ropes in Bell's corner as the brunette thumped her up one side and down the other. At the bell, Cat raised both arms and stepped back - almost like she was expecting Nicola to collapse at her feet. McLean was far from finished, as she revealed when she blinked back the tears filling her eyes, swiped the back of her glove across her face, then stepped forward and slapped Cat, forehand, backhand! Bell recoiled in shock, then Nicola spat her mouthpiece in Cat's face and screamed, “You bleedin' b###h!! You're really in for it, you cow!” She was winding up to throw a punch (long after the bell) but the referee arrived in time to grab Bell in his arms and pull her away, saving Cat from possible harm - and Nicola from almost certain disqualification.

At ringside, Charlize Theron seen on her feet, screaming at Nicola, “SLUG HER DAMMIT! PUNCH HER LIGHTS OUT!” (Apparently, Theron still isn't over the pain from that unfortunate “Bell Betrayal” in the Wizard's Crusade.)

The first round goes to Bell (wide) on points, thanks to her harder, more effective punching. But McLean gets the 'style points' (wide).

Both corners scramble to retrieve their fighters; Stone roughly jostling Nicola aside after she climbs through the ropes to get to Bell. Rowland several steps ahead of Klass, on reaching Nicola, gives her a slap on the butt and tells her, “Just like we scripted it. Way to go girlfriend!” Both fighters teary eyed, both using supporting their breasts with crossed arms as they stumble somewhat dazed to their stools... the crowd on their feet giving both women a standing ovation! What a show! And this is just the first of ten scheduled rounds!

* * *
R2: Both women on their feet eager to brawl at the bell. Cat looking decidedly uncomfortable knowing that within seconds her “girls” will be under assault again. Across the ring, Klass and Rowland have given McLean last minute instructions. A few fans boo Bell when she stands before the bell, and she turns to give them “the finger” - or what passes for it when you're wearing boxing gloves.

Bell, having learned from the first round, fights more under control this round, walking in behind her strong left jab; right cocked at her cheek. Nicola likewise dialing it back, circling left, pawing her left or pushing it open palm in Cat's face to distract her. Cat slapping the left hand aside, but whenever Bell's vision is momentarily blocked, Nicola unleashes a powerful right; tucking it up under Cat's left breast; digging it into her left flank; pounding her 46 year old paunch. Nicola seems to have a thing for Bell's belly button and Cat's not liking all the attention Nicola's shower her aging body. Bell fighting under control, showing the technique that made her a Hall of Famer and won so many fights against blondes with names like Charlize Theron, Jeri Ryan and Jennifer O'Dell. She's patient; stringing together combinations to force McLean to caution. But Nicola's “aggressively cautious” not giving Bell time to get set by staying in constant motion; always circling left (Bell's right). When Bell throws her right, Nicola counters with the left hook to the body, more often than not, Cat's right breast. By the end of the first minute, Bell's right breast has a bright pink glow thanks to Nicola's left hook, and her right has come in for it's share of attention as well. Cat, never a JMD competitor in her youth, is picking up the subtlety of the art form nicely, however; using straight lefts and rights to pancake Nicola's huge breasts and McLean's scowl shows Cat's been effective - although Bell's landing fewer punches to Nicola's breasts than McLean is to hers!

The final minute, McLean shows a flash of the 'power' her publicity machine has been boasting about! Cat lands a sweeping right to the side of Nicola's head, rocking her. As Cat reloads, Nicola steps inside and ROCKS CAT with a right! Pretty punch starts with a hooking motion - toward Cat's left breast. But the last second, Nicola shortens it up and drives it into the left side of Bell's jaw! Bell windmills her arms as she stutter-steps back to the ropes; grabs the top strand with both arms outside it; and struggles to stay upright. Nicola's eyes widen at the sight of Cat's lush, vulnerable, unprotected body. She bores in and lets both hands fly POP! CRACK! THWAP! WAP! SPLAT! PIK! PAK! PEK! PEK! PEK

The blonde Brit punches upward, starting at the waistband of Cat's thong, ending with impressive 'speed bag' action - criss-crossing Cat's jumpin' juggs with both fists. Bell's knees buckle as she flails forward off the ropes, arms wrapping around McLean's neck, numbly hanging on. Thanks to their big bosoms, there's still punching room between their bodies; room which McLean puts to good use...ripping into Cat's soft middle with lefts and rights. Bell twists her hips, turning sideways to pull McLean into a side headlock, then hip throwing her sideways into the corner. When the referee arrives to break them apart, Bell has Nicola pinned with her back on the turnbuckles belly to belly!

The ref pulls Bell away and sends her wobbling to the middle of the ring; then checks over Nicola's gloves before he waves them together. Nicola leaps in with a lead right that catches Bell high on the head and sends her reeling back again. Nicola with a left hook to that right breast...a right to the head.... BELL'S IN TROUBLE! And there's the bell! Bell is saved by the bell! Cat Bell barely survives the second round!

This time the referee's on top of things and there's no post-bell slapping or other antics. The women are separated and sent to their corners without issue. Of course, Stone in Bell's corner and Kelly Rowland in McLean's corner, can't resist exchanging shots as they each turn to glare at the other. Stone seems upset with Rowland encouraging her girl's “blatant abuse” of Cat's cleavage while Rowland's barking at the referee, “You gave Bell extra time by checking Nicola's gloves. What was that all about?”

Stone breaking an ammonia cap under Cat's nose. Berry icing the back of Cat's neck with one hand, holding an ice pack to her battered right breast with the other. Bell slumping on her stool, sweat pouring off her body, her chest heaving. Despite all the hype about how she's fought her way back into shape, Bell looks a long way from it - and this is only the second round! Nicola McLean, on the other hand, appears fresher now than after the first round. McLean dominated the closing minute here, turning what had looked to be a tossup into a 10-9 round with that closing rush to the wire.

* * *

R3: Once again, Bell's corner struggling, having to work overtime trying to put her 'back together' before the bell; Cat's nipples finally are modestly shielded, so they no longer excite and arouse the ringside fans. Nicola's standing before the bell looking unruffled and unconcerned. At the bell, Cat takes a deep breath, then steps forward, carefully; her gloves high. McLean bounces (literally) out of her corner and jiggles left, popping a straight left in Cat's face. Interestingly, McLean's jab seems to be getting better each round while Bell....she looks like a woman who's aging before out eyes!

Bell more defensive after her late stumbles in the previous round, Nicola on the other hand, looking like she wants to put an end to Cat's night as soon as possible. McLean throwing that big right hand whenever she sees an opening, or thinks she has one. Bell buffeted and rocked several times, but never to the point of looking like she's in imminent peril. Wily veteran showing the fans how to clutch & grab; hold & hit; stick & move (and other tactics calling for an ampersand). If not a clinic, Cat's at least putting on a show! Nicola growing frustrated...she's doing all the work with nothing to show for it. (do they give points for 'shuck & jive'?) Midway, Nicola comes boring in, their breasts bumping and jostling, Cat's taking the brunt of the impact; coming off second best.

Nicola backs off and waves for Cat to 'come on in' but Bell shakes her head and continues to fight backing up, drawing McLean forward into her 'kill zone'. Nicola refuses to be baited, instead staying at arm's length, picking her spots to pot-shot Cat's right breast every time Bell extends her right to punch. It's a good tactic on many levels. Nicola's left hook is potent, capable of ending a fight with a single blow. And the hurt she's inflicting makes Bell more reluctant to expose that already throbbing part of her body - and Bell's right is her best weapon; the less she throws it, the better for McLean! Cat keeps popping McLean with the jab, but it's landing high on the forehead, neck or shoulder. It's effective for gauging distance, but it's not going to keep Nicola at bay for long. And with her left constantly in McLean's face, Bell is always exposing her left breast to the underneath right hand; a weapon Nicola has used time and again to send opponents to dreamland. She nearly put Bell down with it in the second and she almost does it again here!

BELL'S HURT! With McLean circling left, Bell stops moving left, and steps right; turning into a sweeping left aimed at a spot between Nicola's eyes - while at the same time, Nicola fires a right! The two fists pass within inches of one another; Nicola's below Cat's. McLean's lands on target an instant before Bell - as Cat's slips past Nicola's right ear. Bell's chin is driven down and to the side, her knees buckle and she nearly goes down. By a miracle of luck, balance, or God-given reflex, she manages to stagger backward to the ropes and stay on her feet!

McLean bores in again, pounding Bell's belly button (a frequent target in her fights). Bell is rocked and knocked from one foot to the other as she earmuffs against the ropes. Nicola, forehead on Bell's chest, bludgeons away with both hands to the body; stealing Cat's breath with every, bone rattling, blow. Once again, Bell is forced to clinch up high, giving up her aging torso. McLean, finding plenty of room to punch with their bodies separated by their prodigious puppies, lands uppercut after uppercut to the soft underbelly of her aging opponent. And Nicola doesn't neglect Cat's juggs either....the only thing between her fists and Cat's chin!

Ringside patrons treated to a symphony of meat beating as Nicola pounds Cat's body from waist to clavicle! Bell cramping up, hanging on, desperately reduced to throwing an occasional elbow against McLean's ear, neck or the side of her jaw! Not enough to draw a warning, but not enough to get relief either. So she's reduced to just hanging on and hoping. In her ringside seat, Theron sees what's happening and screams at McLean, “BACK OFF AND FINISH HER. DON'T LET HER HANG ONTO YOU!”

But Nicola can't hear her over the roar of the crowd, and she's too far from her own corner for them to help; so she continues to punch and pound Cat's body....until she has to stop punching. She's getting arm weary and is reduced to making short, jabbing, blows to the body and little else. The respite from the body attack lets Bell catch her breath and regroup. As seconds tick off the clock, Cat is able to regain some of her momentum, and actually manages to fight her way off the ropes and escape to center ring. Cat takes the initiative for the final thirty or forty-five seconds of the round and does enough to keep the score close after what looked for a minute like it would be a huge round for McLean. It still is Nicola McLean's round, but by a closer margin than it should have been.

At the bell, a disappointed Nicola McLean heads back to her stool, as Bell heaves a sigh of relief and trudges slowly to her corner, glancing down at her bruised and battered breasts and wondering whether it's worth all the time and effort.

Between the rounds, Kelly Rowland again goes to officials to complain about the referee and is again told to suck it up and get back to her fighter. Rowland's not pleased. The referee on the other hand, seemed heartbroken by the decision. Clearly, JMD wasn't the kind of thing he envisioned when he signed up to referee 'boxing' matches. Judging by the faces of the fans at ringside, however, anyone else who didn't appreciate 'the art form' must have been down the street in a pub or elsewhere!

* * *

R4: Rowland told Nicola before she got off her stool, ”This will be our round. Bell's about all in; she's gonna fade soon. Keep working the body; don't go head-hunting. We put a few more rounds on her chassis and she'll probably collapse from exhaustion.” Across the ring, her late flurry had improved Cat's spirits and she looked, if not eager, at least willing to resume batting the busty British bombshell.

Nicola right back to doing what had been working for her all along; circling left, punching Cat's right breast with the left hooks to the body and slap/punch the right breast whenever there's an opening. She was going to wait for Bell to drop her guard and KO her, just like so many of her previous opponents. And up to this point, the plan was working perfectly - except the part about the KO...though she'd come close twice! Nicola was working their plan to near perfection. She circled left, keeping her own left high and in Cat's face, her right cocked ready to throw at a moment's notice. Cat kept moving away from Nicola's left hook, her right elbow drifting lower each round to protect her bruised and throbbing right breast from McLean's brutal left hook. McLean patient, enjoying pounding Bell's boobs. If she could, she'd keep at it all night. Nicola had admitted to interviewers that she “enjoys the moments when I realize an opponent can't keep me from taking whatever I want.” Certainly, adding Bell's name to her 'victim' list wouldn't be as prestigious now as it would have been 5 or 10 years ago, but she's still a Hall of Fame fighter and beating her is still something to be savored. So Nicola patiently kept to her plan, digging the left in under Cat's right elbow, listening to her sweet grunt every time it slammed into her side, or pancaked one of the 'natural' breasts Bell liked to boast about being “untouched by some hack plastic surgeon.” But Nicola was proud of her boobs too, “the best money can buy” she boasted, proudly flaunting her frontage for the cameras.

Two minutes into the round Nicola was still waiting for the 'magic moment' - that time when everything comes together and she can see what's about to happen in her mind's eye.

Then she saw the opening she'd been waiting for! The last few times Cat had thrown the jab, an instant before, Bell tucked her right elbow to her right breast to protect it from McLean's counter hook. This time when Cat's right elbow flinched, Nicola leaned in with everything she had behind a straight right! BAM! Legs buckling under her, the woman crumpled to her knees, then rolled onto her side.

Arms raised, Cat Bell pranced away, looking back over her shoulder at Nicola's shattered body writhing in pain on the canvas. It hadn't been the left jab Cat was preparing to throw, it had been a left hook that came whistling in over Nicola's right shoulder to crash into her jaw and short-circuit her body like flipping a light switch. As Cat leaned on the ropes, she heard a voice in the audience wailing and bemoaning her fate. She knew without looking it was her former “close friend” Charlize; seeing her expectations of another chance to watch Cat Bell brought low frustrated by a fickle boxing God.

But then Nicola rolled over and got to all fours, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs.

Cat thought. “Why don't you just stay down?”

Nicola got to one knee as the referee tolled “SEVEN” then rose at “NINE”. He wiped her gloves on his shirt and waved for Cat 'come and get her'.

Cat did!

The final minute of the round was all Cat Bell! McLean was on rubbery legs, her eyes unfocused, but she was upright and still dangerous. Cat took her time, using two and three punch combinations to slowly cut the big blonde down to size. She worked the body, taking the wind out of Nicola's lungs. She hammered her sides, wanting to land a kidney punch that could end McLean's night in a single blow. But she couldn't find the right combination, but she kept hammering away; never giving Nicola a chance to recover; never giving her a second's respite from the pain. Cat opened a cut over McLean's left eye, the blood running down and blinding her. That made it easier to get her right hand in, but Nicola would clinch and hang on long after the referee ordered a break. Cat never found the combination to unlock McLean's defenses, but at the end of the round, Nicola McLean was no longer the big, bad, blond, who'd begun the fight.

The bell might have signaled the end of the round, but Cat knew that it was tolling the beginning of the end for the British Bombshell. And as soon as she got back to her stool, Halle Berry leaned over and whispered in her ear, “You look like a different woman out there this round.” Cat looked at her in disbelief, then saw the grin on her face. “Besides,” Halle said, nodding at three members of their stable sitting ringside, “Theron's having a fit. She had her heart set on seeing you go down in flames and you're winning. It's killing her, the poor girl.”

Sharon Stone quickly got Cat's attention back to the fight, reminding her, “There's still the small matter of actually winning this fight, you know. That big broad's beaten you like a drum for three and a half rounds. So far, you've only won half of one round.”

In the other corner, Mylene Klass and Kelly Rowland were frantically trying to figure out what to do about Nicola. She was dazed and groggy and neither had much experience dealing with head injuries. In England, they'd hired a real trainer for fights, but this trip was done 'on the cheap' and they hadn't planned on Nicola getting hit hard enough by Cat Bell to have any concern. Mylene poured cold water over Nicola's head while Kelly held a bag of ice to her neck.

* * *

R5: Nicola was up before the bell, but she didn't look fully recovered. Fortunately, Cat was delayed by a spot trouble with the bottom of her string bikini, the tie at her right hip had loosened and when she stood up, she nearly flashed the crowd. Happily, Sharon quickly re-tied the string, then gave her a slap on the butt to send her off. The added several seconds gave Nicola a little more time to recover. Cat sauntered carefully toward Nicola, testing the strength of Stone's knot, walked up to Nicola and popped her with two quick jabs, taking a surprisingly hard left hook to her right breast as punishment for her casual approach. Two more Bell jabs received another left hook from Nicola, but this time Cat blocked it - and turned into a sweet left hook of her own; burying her glove in Nicola's bulging bosom! McLean's face went pale as she staggered back toward her corner. Cat stepped in, dropping an overhand right over Nicola's left shoulder. The blondes knees gave way and she sat down hard, her huge breasts bouncing so high they almost slapped her in the face! The referee jumped in and pushed Cat away, then started to count over the Brit who was struggling to get to her feet. Bell waited patiently. There were over two minutes left in the round, plenty of time.

Nicola was up, shaky, but upright, before the count reached nine. Cat rolled her neck and shrugged her shoulders, then went to work. She moved in quickly, before Nicola could get set, and drove the still stunned blonde back onto the ropes with a forearm across the chest. Then Cat set up in front of her, and slowly started the beatdown. Hook the right breast; cross to the left breast; straight left; straight right; uppercut the right breast; uppercut the left breast; uppercut the right again! Nicola was reeling along the ropes, unable to get her back off them. Cat kept bludgeoning McLean's 'double G' chest, pounding her puppies. Cat could have kept it up for another minute, but in Nicola's corner, Mylene Klass had seen enough and threw in the towel! The referee jumped in and waved his arms, awarding the fight to Cat Bell by a TKO5!

* * *

Nicola's body swooned into Cat's arms and Bell didn't wait to take advantage. She stacked McLean up in the corner and lifted her left foot up on the middle rope, leaning into Nicola and pulling her blank, empty, face down into her sweaty cleavage. Wrapping her arms around Nicola's head, Cat trapped her in a front breast smother. Not the most effective, perhaps, but in Nicola's condition Cat knew it couldn't take very long. Bell closed her eyes and let her mind drift as she felt Nicola's breath on her sweat-slick breasts.

Suddenly, someone was screaming at her and pulling at her arms; but Cat just hung on tight, keeping Nicola trapped deep in her bosom. SMACK! Someone hit Cat on the back of her head, shocking her out of her trance-like state. Looking over her right shoulder, she saw Kelly Rowland was wrestling with Halle Berry! Off to her left, Mylene Klass and Sharon Stone were nose to bosom (the taller Stone yelling down at Klass who kept barking straight ahead at Sharon's chest). Cat wondered who would win those fights, then realized she didn't care! Her focus was, as it should be, on JMDing Nicola McLean with her own generously endowed chest! Let that Theron deal with that disappointment!

Just then, Cat was grabbed around the waist and by the hair, feeling herself being dragged back. She clung even tighter to Nicola's head, but McLean's weight was too much to hold onto and as she was pulled off balance, Nicola slid down Cat's front to crashed onto the mat on her face and chest. Cat angrily whirled around to find herself face-to-face with the referee.

“I know this wasn't listed as no JMD bout, Bell,” he huffed angrily. “...despite what it degenerated into. Now get to your corner and behave yourself while I sort out the other 'ladies'.”

Cat, her bosom heaving from exertion, stumbled to her corner and flopped on her stool. She sat and watched as Sharon Stone wrestled Mylene Klass over onto her back and mounted her 'schoolgirl' style. Cat glanced left expecting to see Halle in a similar mount on Kelly Rowland, but to her surprise, Kelly was belly-to-belly atop Halle, their legs entwined with Kelly grunting and arching her back, slowly grapevining Halle Berry's legs farther and wider apart. When Cat saw the moist spot on the crotch of Halle's panties, she muttered a curse and pushed herself up to her feet. Shaking her head, Cat walked over behind Kelly, grabbed her by the back of her shorts and her hair and dragged her forward off of Halle. Berry grabbed a handful of Kelly's shirt as Cat pulled and after a tug-of-war, Cat Bell prevailed, dragging Kelly Rowland off of Halle, but leaving a large part of the front of Kelly's tee-shirt behind.

“You interfering b###h!” Kelly screamed, scrambling up and turning on Cat with a wild open handed SLAP! Cat staggered from the unexpected impact, then doubled over when Rowland kicked her in the stomach. Cat fell on her butt, her head hitting the mat hard, stunning her. With Cat down and dazed, Kelly turned back to Halle who was getting to her feet, still holding the front of Kelly's shirt. Kelly charged, tackling Halle around the chest and bowling the forty-something year old Ebony beauty over like a spare ten pin. Kelly kicked Halle in the ribs, rolling her onto her side, then kneed her in the back, putting her onto her belly. Cat was sitting up watching the Halle-Kelly mash-up with cool dispassion, not really caring who came out on top; mildly supporting her stablemate, though she'd always wondered where Halle's true allegiance lay.

While Cat was considering whether to jump in or not, Sharon Stone came running past and dove on Kelly. Looking back, Cat saw Mylene Klass was spread-eagled on her back; half out of the ring, an arm and a leg dangling off the ring apron. Turning back, Cat saw Stone holding two handfuls of Kelly's hair as she dragged the singer around the ring. Kelly was screaming, cursing and threatening all manner of vile retribution “...when I get my hands on you.”

Cat was just getting up to help when Teri Hatcher climbed between the ropes, bunching her short, tight, skirt at her waist. She'd come to help Stone. Teri jerked Kelly's head up by the hair, wound up and POW! Drove her fist into Kelly's face. Rowland plowed facefirst into the canvas and lay still. That was the end of that! Teri shook her throbbing hand as she left the ring and returned to her seat beside Amanda Seyfried and sat, her legs stretched in front of her.

++

Cat got to her feet and went over to Nicola, posing for pictures with her foot on Nicola's big, heaving, bosom, before she went to help Halle up. Stone had walked away, returning to Cat's corner where she'd already finished packing her stuff by the time Cat and Halle got there.

“Well, that was fun,” Sharon said, grinning proudly.

“Harrrumph!” Halle groused. “I almost had her when somebody....” she glared at Cat... “got in my way and screwed everything up. From now on Bell, stay out of my fights.”

Cat shrugged, “OK, but don't come running to me next time some girl is kicking your big, fat, overrated, 'Oscar-worthy' butt. It's been a while since you were cast in a role that didn't require a 'butt double', so I'd watch what I say if I were you.”

Halle bristled visibly. “BUTT DOUBLE? You cow! You think everyone doesn't know you use a 'boob double' for love scenes? Jeez Louise, you think you can make cracks about OTHER PEOPLE!” Halle stormed away, grabbing Teri and Amanda on her way to the stable's dressing room.

“Was it something I said?” Cat asked Sharon with a smirk.

“Your big mouth is writing checks your sagging ass won't be able to cash, honey,” Stone told her. “I hope you don't think that, of all the women in the FCBA, Charlize is the only one who hates your ass...or whatever part of your anatomy you've used to tick 'em off. You may be one of the dumbest brunettes on the planet Earth!”

Stone picked up her equipment bags and climbed out of the ring.

Cat sighed at Stone's retreating back, “Well, I know where I stand with THAT blonde.”

She looked over to where Nicola and Mylene were on their knees hugging with Kelly who glared daggers at Cat. “I better get out of here before they decide to come over for some payback,” she thought as she climbed down the steps and started to make her way through the crowd to her dressing room.

She'd only gone about ten steps when the loud fan from ringside held out his program and a pen and said, “Miss Bell, may I please have your autograph? I'm a huge fan and 'Army Wives' was my favorite show.” Cat was pleased that someone appreciated her after all and took the program and as she was signing her name, she was blinded by a FLASH! She looked up and saw her 'fan' pointing his cellphone at her. FLASH!

“Hey Chuck!” the fan yelled to his friend. “I got two pics of her tits. Let's put 'em on Facebook!”

Cat dropped the program and ran into the crowd with tears welling her eyes. “Bastards!” she muttered, referring to the men and women who had - and still were - taking advantage of her throughout her career.

* * *

After: Bell's struggle to remain relevant continues! After being steamrolled by Nolin, the win over McLean was a “must” if the aging brunette Hall of Famer wanted to stay in the welter conversation. Tonight's result showed Cat's capable of putting on a show... while still being competitive with younger, albeit less accomplished, fighters. What else did it show? Well, at least in the near term, Cat can argue she's at worst still a viable candidate for “gatekeeper” status. If she'd lost - especially badly - it's unlikely anyone would have wanted (or needed) Bell's battle bikini displayed on their trophy wall. It would not have been a good position for a proud brunette with a famous bust...a bust in the Hall of Fame, that is!

For the time being, “Cat The Rack” remains a formidable physical specimen no matter her age or won-loss record - though a few more wins every so often would be helpful. She still sells tickets, and eager young fighters will line up to take a shot at her formidable body....if only for the sheer pleasure of it. Just ask Theron who's had the pleasure plenty of times... and recalls those nights fondly.

And Bell is also still a 'name' - one that looks good on the “fights won” side of a ledger - especially in a few years when people who never heard of her or have forgotten her, look her up and find the distinguished record she compiled in her prime. Was this fight just a 'one off' in Bell's long slide into mediocrity, or is this where she begins to turn it around - maybe for one last shot at a welter title?

And what of Nicola McLean? There are a lot of questions she must answer. First and foremost, “Will she stay here in the US and continue to compete against 'the best women in the world' or will she tuck tail and hurry back to Merrye Olde England where the women are softer and the fights easier? Given Nicola's recent marital woes, she's got little reason to return to Europe. And her career as a “busty photo model” is as easily pursued in Hollywood as London, Paris or Milan. Women with her “assets” are in short supply in the boxing ring - and by assets we mean the four things a female fighter prizes above all else: two big, ticket-selling, breasts, and two fists with KO power. It's obvious Nicola McLean has the former, but her ability to use the latter is still in doubt. Bell was available often tonight, but McLean couldn't pull the trigger.

For both Bell and McLean, the next couple of fights will probably answer the doubters questions about each. Of course, McLean can still improve her technique, become more fit, and even solidify her punching. But Cat Bell won't get any younger...and there's the rub! In her prime, Bell was a daunting physical presence; a talented and tenacious boxer. Now, while we still have her physical presence...there's only a little of her old tenacity - and less talent. Sadly, there are promoters who'll pay her for the opportunity to exploit her to sell tickets to folks not too squeamish to watch her being taken apart on a regular basis.

As one rapid fan said, “Who're you kidding? Hell yeah I'd pay to see Bell fight! She's easy on the eyes....and I won't forget or forgive that “Crusade betrayal” of Theron. So, yeah, put her out there; let all the girls have a shot at her!” See, you really can never overestimate the cupidity of promoters or the gullibility of boxing fans.

* * *

In a postfight news conference, McLean's publicity mouthpiece, Mylene Klass, spoke for Nicola who was 'indisposed' and asserted that, “Nicola had the fight won in the second round! Bell was ready to go when the referee not only allowed Bell wrestle her into that corner, then he gave that overweight brunette an extra ten seconds - or so - to recover while he pretended to 'check' Nic's gloves? What for? He was just ogling her tits, for God's sakes. But I guess that's what you have to expect when you travel halfway around to world to a foreign country to fight one of the 'legends.' It was disgraceful. I'd love to see the old hag come to London to face some of our welters. They'd have her for breakfast....bangers 'n' mash!”

* * *

Cat kept the writers and TV hacks waiting, or maybe she was just gracious to let McLean's people make excuses while she “got dressed” - at least that's the reason she opened her conference with. Standing behind the podium and then stepping out to do a spin turn, showing off her attire. “So boys, how do I look better, fully dressed, or in a tiny little thong bikini?” There was laughter, for sure, but at least one disgruntled old codger in the back was overheard muttering, “Shoulda shown us the goods ten years ago when it were worth the trouble. The old gal's bod sure ain't what it used to be!”

Cat, fortunately, didn't hear that, although, for all we know, she may have agreed. “Well, I made it through, but I had my doubts for a while. The British Bombshell hits hard, trust me. I can see how she got so many KOs on her resume. I hope she hangs around for a while, I'd love to see her in with Jeri Ryan or Gena Lee Nolin...or Christina Hendricks, now that wouldn't that be something?”

But the fun came to an abrupt halt with the next question. A crusty old geezer in a battered felt fedora asked pointedly, “So Cat, what's the real story on that 'thong' outfit? Word on the Internet is the promoter made that little stringie thingie a condition of you even getting to fight. You're a little long in the tooth to be doing burlesque, aren't you?”

Cat held up her hand. “I hate to be honest, but that report was accurate - as far as it went. Economic times are tough. It's hard out there for a pimp just like it's hard for a banker, an astronaut, or a boxing promoter. Everyone knows what's happened at The Academy, Ginny's put me on a shelf. She turned down several legit offers for me because she was worried I'd win. So she only makes me 'available' for the toughest, roughest, or sleaziest offers. So I have to choose between hanging 'em up or I going along. Under the contract agreed to a few years ago, those are my only choices. I've got obligations to family, sponsors, business associates...and myself. I can't just walk away and go to IHOP and flip flapjacks.”

A youngish looking blond gal in the front row who might have been from Fox News, raised her hand, “Ms Bell, speaking of flapjacks, could you tell us....please...you were almost topless in that that teeny-weeny, itty-bitty, bikini? It surely was a huge departure from the usual for you, and I for one, didn't enjoy seeing it. My kids watching at home....”

“Hold on, honey! That wasn't my idea,” Cat bristled. “You saw that ridiculous top they had me in. The thing almost fell off just walking to the ring. If you were watching, you saw Nicola wearing even less. I 'm not looking to make friends with blondes in the media, but...if you let your kids watch this stuff you should be ashamed! Where are your family values, anyway!?”

One of the teenage bloggers, Tim from hotboxinghoneys.biz was bouncing up and down in his seat. Cat looked around and saw a couple of guys who always had the knives out for her, so she took a deep breath and held her breath as she pointed to her fanboy. “OK Tim, what is it?”

“Thanks Miss Cat, you know I'm your number one fan. So it kinda hurts a lot to have to ask, but we all saw Ms Theron run out at the end of your fight. It almost looked like she was crying! Was she: a) upset because you were winning, or b) jealous because you were up there practically naked in front of the world instead of HER, or c) upset because you won and her plan to humiliate you backfired in her face? To save time, you can just answer: a), b) or c). Thank you.”

Cat sputtered for a moment, trying to collect her wits. She had never knew where fanboy got information about her, but it was always something sensational - frequently embarrassing - and usually accurate. She considered her answer and decided - when unsure how to answer - to go with the truth. “I don't know why she ran out, or even if she was crying. But I'm pretty sure she was having a good laugh about my having to wear that outrageous bikini. I doubt she was jealous, not because she isn't, or wouldn't be, but because her opinion of herself is so high she'd never be jealous of anyone. Oh, if I had a little success at something, maybe she'd be angry or upset, but not jealous. I guess the answer must be, c). Next question?”

It pretty much went down hill from there and Cat stepped in several piles of doo-doo along the way.

(The question - followed by her answers).

“Do you think Charlize will ever win another welterweight title?” (no)

“Do you think Jennifer Lawrence is a better fighter than Theron?” (not yet, but she will be soon)

“If you were her manager, how would you fix what's wrong with Anna Kendrick? She hasn't won a fight?”

(if I were her manager? I'd fire myself and hire a better one; some new trainers too. As good a fighter as they were, Hatcher and Berry are hopeless as trainers of a young fighter.)

“Sharon Stone has been in your corner for most of your Academy fights. Now that Theron washed her hands of you, why aren't you more successful?”

(Stone was always Charlize's woman. She won't kill the Golden Goddesses goose for me. She does enough to get me into a fight, but not nearly enough for me to be too successful)

And there were more, but you get the idea.

* * *

With Cat giving candid and unfiltered answers to any question she was asked, the press conference ran over and had to be shut down when fighters from the following fight demanded to use the room. Bell walked out happy and proud, but the good feeling didn't last. Ginny confronted her in the hall and told her she was being “fined for conduct unbecoming for your disgraceful postfight conduct!” Apparently, under Cat's contract, both the FCBA - and Ginny - had that right. Coincidentally - Bell's fine from Ginny came to a little more than her purse after the commission took their 'bite'. And both got theirs before taxes! After tax, Ginny would get the rest of Cat's entire purse, while Cat would end up owing her almost $5000!

Ginny walked away smiling and punching her cellphone. She told the promoter who answered, “Gimme a lowball offer for Bell's next fight. I got her on the ropes and we don't want to her let off the hook easy. You got somebody mean and nasty who likes brunettes? Who? Never heard of her, where's she from? Hmmm, I didn't know they even did women's boxing there. Oh? OK. WAIT! Repeat that! Uh-huh, of course I know what it is, but the FCBA will never sanction it. Who else you got - and be serious, Ray, that was NOT funny? Oh yeah, her. I'd forgotten about her. The one from South Africa, right? I see some marketing possibilities. Her and Charlize sparring together while she's prepping for a Bell fight. She was like the Zulu champion? Tutsi? Watusi? Whatever! See if you can get her to give Cat a working over in a month or two. I want Bell back in that tiny outfit because it embarrasses the hell outta her, but I don't want her body all bruised and McLean did a pretty good job of that. So I want to gete her healed, but not have a chance to come up with enough do-rae-me to pay her debt without fighting for it. I got expenses too, guy!”

* * *

In the weeks following, Kelly Rowland issued an “open challenge” to Halle Berry. Mylene Klass sent an email offering to fight, “....any of Ginny's Academy bantams or flys; no rules, no conditions; on any upcoming PPV.” Ginny deleted the email without response. She really wasn't sure who Mylene Klass was, or what she did; but she knew she couldn't be much of a fighter if the best job she could get was doing 'publicity' for a second rate stable in England.

END