Lindsay Lohan (5'5", 28 y/o) vs. LeAnn Rimes (5'5", 34 y/o)
result:Lookout/words:simgrrl

Before: Lindsay Lohan has three times as many WINS as Rimes has had FIGHTS! Odds makers refuse to make a line; one calling it, "a criminal mismatch" while another fighter's manager says, "It's an obvious and blatant attempt to pad Lohan's record; to get her an easy win hoping to take people's minds off all the problems in her personal life. They could'a done the same thing with a bigger name, or a better fighter - either of which would have da added advantage of actually givin' da broad a little credibility. Right now, fans think she's a joke!"

Rimes not looking anything like a pushover at the weigh-in. Her body's tight, firm and tautly muscled. Lohan, having shed some of the 'baby fat' she used to carry, showing some better definition than in the past, but she's still the fleshier girl in the thighs, hips and "up top" - to the delight of fans who whooped and whistled as she stepped onto the scales in a teeny-tiny, little thong bikini. Rimes in a more sedate two-piece nothing to turn one's nose up at either and she showed some fire chesting up to Lohan and going nose to nose while the cameras were present.

"I'm no pushover," LeAnn growls at the press. "I'm not getting into any ring to make some bimbo look good. In fact, I heard Lohan's at her best on her back and that's great, because it's where she'll finish the evening."

Lohan sneering at Rimes, asking the media, "She's got a lot of nerve calling ME a bimbo when she cheated on her own husband with Brandi Glanville's husband. I don't know how many fans I'll have at ringside, but Brandi will be there for me and I'm gonna dedicate this fight to her."

Instructions: Lohan scowling at Rimes. Annoyed, Rimes says something like, “You got a problem with me?” Then, when Lohan mentions Brandi Glanville's ex-husband, they exchange insults. The ref finally breaks it up and sends them to their corners but as she turns, Rimes gives Lohan's butt a slap and when she whirls back around, they almost come to blows!

Lohan in green bikini cut high on the hips, low on top; bare feet and long red hair in a battle braid, red gloves. Rimes in metallic gold bikini with hoops at her hips, shoulders and front; black shoes and gloves, hair in a messy ponytail.

During R1: Lindsay bouncing in her corner before the bell, springing forward just as the timekeeper reaches for the bell, getting on top of Rimes before she knows what's happening! Lohan putting the pedal to the metal, never letting up as she wallops LeAnn from bell to bell. Rimes fighting back in spurts, is still never able to get on track after the initial flurry of Li-Lo punches. Lohan showing veteran wiles as she continually is able to lure Rimes into ill-advised and risky attacks, then counters to heap on the hurt. Li-Lo wins the round on points; talks trash to Rimes after the bell while giving her butt a (not playful) spank as she sends back her back to her stool in her corner.

R2: Rimes embarrassed in the opening round, ready and eager for redemption is out with a vengeance at the bell - taking the fight to Lohan. This time it's Linds who never gets on track once an early exchange of right hands goes Rimes way. LeAnn rocking Lohan early, keeps up a drumbeat of right hands to that plush little mid-section, not letting Li-Lo catch her breath. Once she's established her control, Rimes repays Lohan for the spanking with some late round jugg muggery worthy of a JMD title fight! Lohan huffing and puffing at the bell as LeAnn wins the second round on points.

R3: It's Lohan's turn! Li-Lo doesn't take rejection (or humiliation) well and she comes off her stool red-faced and fiery to attack Rimes with both hands. The back and forth momentum shifts decidedly over to Lohan's side as she knocks down LeAnn in the second minute to take command. Once she has her hands on the reins of power, Lindsay never relinquishes them and she batters LeAnn around the ring for the final minute, finishing up with a ten second body bashing flurry that wins her round on points (by a wide margin) and leaves LeAnn draped on the ropes at the bell. LeAnn dazed and wobbly as she staggers to her stool leaving Li-Lo to prance around the ring before returning to her stool.

R4: LeAnn rallies in the first minute, putting a shimmy in Lohan's freckled thighs early, but Li-Lo fights back and it's all even going into the final thirty seconds when Lohan re-asserts herself, staggering Rimes with a right hand to close the margin down the stretch. At the bell, it's Rimes' round on points by the narrowest of margins to bring them even at two rounds apiece.

R5: They continue to alternate rounds as Li-Lo rocks Rimes in the opening seconds, then continues to batter her until LeAnn is forced to take a knee at the one minute mark. Lohan spins away arms raised, but Rimes is up at six and determined to continue. Lohan seems surprised and Rimes is determined, making up the stagger in the middle minute to bring her back almost even with less than one minute left in the round. DOWN GOES RIMES! Quick left hook, right cross combination catches Rimes off balance in mid-comeback and drops her on her back! LeAnn rolls over and struggles to her knees but she just can't get her legs to follow her brain's commands and the count passes her by as Lindsay Lohan finishes Rimes evening with another knockdown late in minute three. Lohan wins in style with a KO5!

After: Lohan bouncing and jiggling around as Rimes crawls on all fours. Lohan's biggest booster, Brandi Glanville, joins Li-Lo in the ring and they clasp hands as they dance around Rimes who is dazed and only vaguely aware of her surroundings - celebrating and exchanging hi-fives. Lohan giving Glanville a small measure of satisfaction as Brandi gets to see her ex-husband's lover brought down by Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay bubbly and chippy in victory calling out just about every ranked JMD fighter – including the champ and the top contender. “Well, LeAnn Rimes was certainly no challenge in the JMD department, but she's a hardbody and she gave me a good workout. Now I'm lookin' to put the girls back to work on someone's face, so where's all those big-talking, big-haired, big-titted, blowhards who think they deserve some attention from these?” she asks, shaking her 'goodies' at the camera.

Rimes shrugging off the defeat, acknowledging Lohan's not only been more active than she has, but that “she's a tough gal, no denying it.” Then at the same time, saying she wants to be more active in the coming months and wondering aloud if Brandi Glanville's “got what it takes” to face her in the ring instead of just dancing with Lohan after letting her do all the work.