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31 December 2014 Joss Stone vs Serinda Swan

Page history last edited by Vassago 9 years ago

NEW YEAR'S BOPPIN' EVE AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by The Grand Wizard on December 31, 2014, 12:44 pm

BEFORE:

"I should have won the last time I was here," says Joss with a nod. "I had Kesha right where I wanted her and she landed a lucky punch. And it cost me. I haven't had an FCBA fight since. But, I'm only 27. There's plenty of time for me to break through in this federation, and it starts tonight."

"She's long and she can box," says Serinda with a nod. "The question is, can she handle the power and athleticism I bring to the table. I'm going to go ahead a check the box marked 'No' on that one."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "We're beginning the second half of our card, and that's 'Karma' banging through the arena, and here comes the singer of that song, the long, lovely Joss Stone!"

McCarthy: "I might as well record this and just play it back every month. Typical. Dancing. Hooker. Opponent. No. FCBA. Wins."

Tess: "To be fair, Joss has only had two FCBA fights, against Jewel, back in the days before Front Street existed..."

McCarthy: "Also known as the days before darkness descended on the FCBA..."

Tess: "And against Kesha here at Asylum..."

McCarthy: "And, again, she lost BOTH."

O'Dell: "Joss into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a white number and an in-shape body. And, speaking of bodies, that's 'Foxey Lady' by Jimi Hendrix you hear, and here comes 'The Hottest Player In The Game', Serinda Swan!"

McCarthy: "Apparently I've never been IN that game..."

Cassie: "HERE we go..."

McCarthy: "Shut it, Scabbo!"

O'Dell: "Serinda down the aisle and into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that red number the boys in the audience like, and we're about ready. Let's get some picks. Tess favors Serinda. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Swan is a typically over-rated Dancing Hooker, but even SHE has to be favored over Stone."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess."

O'Dell: "It's unanimous. Let's see if Joss can prove our ladies wrong. There's the bell. Stone quickly sets up and begins using that long poke. Swan OK with ranged work despite giving up some reach. She's working to angle up and get leather home."

Tess: "I know it's early, but, this is the Joss Stone I expected to see, boxing with all that length. She managed to do that effectively against Kesha and it could be a ticket to success for her in the FCBA."

O'Dell: "Stone certainly holding her own against Swan at the moment. We're seeing a lot of nice exchanges, with both girls having their moments on lead. Joss using the left to locate, then dropping the right. Swan, very athletic, moving well, getting to spots and getting off."

Cassie: "Uncle Wiz always says Serinda is the best pure athlete on his roster. You can see that in how she moves."

O'Dell: "Stone a bit more stationary, but moving with, working angles of her own, using that jab to put Swanny where she wants her, then get off. Swan very busy, constantly moving and getting to good spots. A good close first comes to an end with the bell. Swan's round."

McCarthy: "10-9 Swan. But a real lightweight would have had Stone out of there by now."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round and the ranged warfare continues. Stone all about that left hand, popping it out there, using it to set Swan up for rights. Joss putting punches together well. Serinda responding with shell of her own, using movement to offset the reach advantage."

Cassie: "This is something a good fighter can do. Trying to fight at long distances against a girl who has reach can be difficult, but, if you know what you're doing, you can offset that, and Swan is."

O'Dell: "But, Stone using her own strengths very well. Like Tess said, this is a girl who showed that she CAN box, and she can use all that length to score and keep opponents at range. Of course, Swan wants to fight out there, anyway, but there will be lights who want to close, and she can make life difficult for them."

McCarthy: "Maybe against an average fighter like Swan, but, put her in there against Palicki and she'd already be asleep."

O'Dell: "Joss getting into bit of a rhythm now. She's getting home with both hands. Swan still scoring as well, but Stone able to get more of what she wants as the round goes on. Into the final seconds and Joss' left becoming more and more of a factor. Stone another sharp flurry to the bell! Good round for Stone, who got stronger as it went along."

Tess: "And we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round and Stone still in rhythm. She's getting the range, putting leather on target. Swan quickly regains the offensive, though, getting to her own spots and scoring. This is good, two-way stuff, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Give the Stone kid credit. She HAS shown she can box in these two appearances at Asylum. But, as I said, a REAL lightweight would make short work of her."

O'Dell: "Joss getting those feet set and getting the jab off and home, following with right hands. Swan responding, again using movement to offset Stone's reach. Both blonde and brunette having success running their respective offenses."

Cassie: "Still, I'm beginning to wonder if Serinda doesn't want to get more aggressive here. These kind of competitive terms are fine for Stone, but Swanny's got to be thinking about taking control of the fight."

O'Dell: "Good point, Cassie, but, at least for the moment, Serinda good where things are. She's scoring, having her moments, but neither woman's been able to grab control of the fight. Final seconds of the third, more accurate fire from both sides, and there's the bell. Stone again."

Tess: "And Joss now leads 29-28 after three and her confidence has to be building."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth verse, same as the first, second, and third. Both of our fighters have found a comfort zone boxing at range, and neither of much mind to get away from it. Stone, as Tess pointed out, seemingly gaining confidence here. Her corner is clearly pleased with what they've seen, and they made her aware of that between rounds."

McCarthy: "And Swan's corner SHOULD be telling her to get MOVING, but, of course, Front Street's trainers are clueless..."

O'Dell: "Swan actually moving plenty and working plenty as well. She's finding the angles she wants, landing solid shot. Stone sticking with the plan. Box. Work it all off the long poke. And she's getting points doing it. This is actually quite fun to watch if you're a boxing fan..."

Cassie: "Sure is, Jenny. There's a game within a game here, as, not only are Joss and Swanny looking to get the geometry THEY want, they're trying to foul the sights for the other girl. I'm not surprised a girl like Swan, who's had 34 FCBA fights and beaten girls like Lively, Decker, Valance, Rowland, Paltrow, Lima, and Vandervoort, is good at this. I AM surprised how good Stone is."

O'Dell: "She is at that, Cassie. Joss seems to know all the theorems and corollaries. And she knows what kind of angle problems all that length she has can cause for rivals. Swanny, meanwhile, moving so well and able to get where she wants to be despite determined fire from Joss. Down to the final few seconds in the fourth and there's the bell. Another good, two-way round, this one for Swan."

Tess: "And, we're even again at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "We begin the fifth with more ranged salvos from blonde and brunette. Again, both getting work done in what's become a very competitive fight..."

Tess: "I'm wondering, is this Stone surprising us again, like she did against Kesha, or is Swan maybe not getting up for this fight a factor? Did you ever have that problem, Mac?"

McCarthy: "No way, Walmart. I've never bought that in the FCBA. This isn't the NFL. You aren't playing 20 games over 21 weeks. This doesn't become a routine. You aren't getting in there every week. These days, you fight, maybe six times a year. You've got a month or more between fights no matter what. It's not a case where you can't get up every week. You don't HAVE to. You're getting up, max, six or eight times a year. I've never believed that's a factor."

O'Dell: "I'm of a like mind with Mac on that one. I never had a problem getting up for any fight, stay busy or title fight, they were all the same. What you're seeing here is good stuff from Joss Stone, and, in response, good stuff from Serinda Swan. Both are slick boxing and, I'm getting the feeling that Joss' performance against Kesha was not an outlier."

Cassie: "Not with what we're seeing right now. Kesha, at that time, wasn't the more polished fighter she is now. Swan is a top contender. If you can do this against her, it's no mirage."

O'Dell: "And Stone continuing to get results, as is Serinda. It's another two-way round as we head down the stretch, both fighters getting work done when they're where they want to be. Ten seconds left. Stone jabbing, Swan slides right, lands a good two-punch, and that's the bell. Close. Stone."

Tess: "48-47 for Joss at the half."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth begins with Stone popping out that long left hand as she has for 15 minutes. Serinda in motion, looking to angle up and get off. Does it. Lands a couple of nice punches in the flurry. Stone squares, lands a good two-punch of her own."

McCarthy: "I wonder if Weirdo's already making calls up there in his box gauging interest in a Swan trade. She loses this one, she's going to follow Seyfried and Scherzinger out the door...or, maybe she'll just get kicked to the front office, like Jamie Lynn Spears..."

O'Dell: "Stone a SOLID right hand off a good left jab and DOWN GOES THE BLONDE! Joss ragdolled to her back after a left-right from Serinda!"

Cassie: "It was the right hook, Jenny! She popped that jab hard, pushed the head back behind the glove and Swanny put the hook right THERE..."

O'Dell: "Count at four. Five. Six. Stone is OUT. Not moving at ALL. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's over! And you're winner by KO6 is 'The Hottest Player In The Game', Serinda Swan!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Serinda Swan, and, Swanny, after a competitive first half, you ended this thing pretty quickly. Were you carrying her?"

Serinda(shaking her head): "No way. I don't CARRY girls. If I can get you out of there in 30 seconds, that's what I'll do. She can box, and, as rangy as she is, she makes things tough on you. You have to be patient with her, or she'll bury you on the cards. My plan was to do what I do, because, sooner or later, I knew I'd get her."

Tess: "What's next for you?"

Serinda: "Well, I think I'm right there for a title shot. It's about time. I guess I'll have to have MY people call HER people. Oh, wait. MY people ARE HER people..."