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31 December 2014 Gemma Arterton vs Laura Pausini

Page history last edited by Vassago 9 years ago

NEW YEAR'S BOPPIN' EVE AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by The Grand Wizard on December 31, 2014, 12:46 pm

BEFORE:

"Perhaps I'm not well known in the FCBA," says Laura with a hint of a smile. "But, I am the Italian Lightweight Champion, which is a REAL championship, not a mythical one like Arterton's 'Queen of British Boxing'. I'm every bit as good as she is. In fact, I'm better, and I'll prove it."

"Laura's sturdy, and she can hit," says Gemma without a hint of a smile. "She can also hit the canvas, which is exactly what's going to happen to her tonight."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and..."

McCarthy: "What's THAT noise?"

O'Dell: "That would be 'la solitudine', the iconic international hit by the lady coming to the ring right now, Laura Pausini of the Latin Union..."

Tess: "Which, of course, Mac would KNOW if she read any of the prep material..."

McCarthy: "I don't read Weirdo's propaganda..."

Cassie: "Which means Mac probably didn't even know Pausini is a singer..."

McCarthy: "After hearing THIS, I'm sure she ISN'T..."

O'Dell: "Laura into the ring and helped off with the robe by the Latin Union corner to reveal a purple and white striped number that shows off an in-shape body..."

Tess: "Not bad for a girl who's 40..."

McCarthy: "Age ain't nothin' but a number..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'London Calling' by The Clash and here comes 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton!"

Tess: "Arterton, of course, one of the top ranked lights in the FCBA, and, after the results of last Friday, a win here would spark the same talk of an intra-stable title fight we just heard from Swan..."

Cassie: "Talk all you want. Won't happen. I know Uncle Wiz."

O'Dell: "Gemma into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that violet two piece she likes, and the ladies are about ready. Let's get some picks. Tess favors Gemma. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Arterton's never impressed me and Pausini is a champion in Europe. I'm going with Laura in an upset."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Here we go. Gemma wants that big Front Street jab and some ranged work like we saw in the last bout. Pausini, however, could not be less interested in that. Laura working forward in a half-crouch and a high guard, wants to bang body and clinch. Gemma shoves her off, but the sturdy Laura right back on her."

McCarthy: "Pausini clearly not intimidated by Arterton's alleged physicality, because she plans to fight right in her grill..."

O'Dell: "That she does. Laura banging inside with Gems, who's responding in kind. Arterton shoving off, but Pausini right back at her. To quote Warren Zevon, 'It Ain't That Pretty At All', but it can be effective, and it is, as both fighters are landing in there..."

Cassie: "And, this may not be so much what Pausini WANTS to do as what she HAS to do. I can't see her standing outside and boxing with Gemma. She doesn't have the quickness for that."

O'Dell: "But, she CAN get work done this way, and she IS. Laura shouldering Gemma, digging body, working her way upstairs. Arterton thumping back, shoving off, wants to extend on punches, but no room to do it. Down the stretch and it's a wrestling match in there, fighters tying up, trying to free their arms to punch. Final seconds slip away and there's the bell. Pausini gets the first."

Tess: "Not a lot of girls are physical enough to do that against Gemma. Laura is. For three minutes, at least."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins with Pausini again wanting to close. Arterton using that big left hand to slow her down. Gemma showing more footwork now, working side to side, using a back step, wants to keep Laura off, so the Brit can extend."

Tess: "Arterton is, as we've said, one of the top-rated lights in both sets of rankings and this little adjustment shows why. She can do a lot of different things in there."

O'Dell: "Laura determined and she IS managing to get into that phone booth and bang. Gems willing to dig with her, work the body, tie up, wrestle, shove and shoulder. Arterton a very physical light, but Laura holding her own in that department."

Cassie: "Definitely is. She's not getting shoved around."

O'Dell: "But Gemma making hay when they break now. She's scoring plenty as Pausini tries to get in close, getting lefts and rights home. Laura willing to take the fire to get where she wants to be and work body. Thumping leather exchanged when that happens. Final 30 seconds now and we're seeing a grim exchange of body work, leather BANGING off midsection, ribs, lats, neither woman willing to give an inch right to the bell. Little staredown before they turn back to their corners. Arterton's round, but Pausini undeterred."

McCarthy: "19 all after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round begins with a more aggressive Laura. Pausini boring in now, bulling past Arterton's pickets and getting in tight and getting the brawling started. Laura wants to work that body, and she's doing so with a lot of energy. Gemma still shoving off some, but willing to dig inside with the Italian and go punch for punch with her."

McCarthy: "Give Pausini credit for the way she's handling her first fight on the big stage. She's obviously a veteran, not some newb, but, still, the first time in an FCBA ring is different and it can take a girl some time, sometimes the whole fight, to shake that. Not Pausini. She's been locked in from the start."

O'Dell: "Locked in and very aggressive, and, as Cassie pointed out earlier, that kind of aggression is important, because it's likely her only path to victory. Laura taking less fire on the way in this round. Able to catch more of it on the gloves and shoulders and limit the fire by advancing more quickly. Arterton still getting home some shot, but not all that much of it, until they get in close, when both women have their moments."

Cassie: "And, normally, banging body with Arterton is a losing game, but, as we've said before, Laura's VERY sturdy and might just be able to make this work."

O'Dell: "So far, so good for the Italian. Pausini very busy at all times. Showing no signs of being 40 years old, at least at the moment. She's doing every bit as much as her opponent, who's over a decade younger. Final moments of the third pass us by and there's the bell. Good, close round to Pausini."

Tess: "29-28 for Laura after three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth begins and Pausini again all but charging forward, heedless of the torpedoes, as it were, and going to work in the trenches against Arterton. The Brit responding in kind, and we're back to a grueling war of attrition between two sturdy brunettes."

McCarthy: "Pausini very smart in there. She's not all body. She's doing enough upstairs to keep Arterton honest."

O'Dell: "And Gemma doing the same, up and down. Down and back. And there's a short right from Arterton and Pausini is ROCKED!"

Cassie: "Overhand right that wobbled Pausini's legs!"

O'Dell: "Gemma following up quickly, backing Laura up with some solid flurries. Pausini covering up, giving ground. She's in deep trouble against a girl with Gemma's power. The Brit backing the Italian up slowly but surely, getting her against the ropes and now going to work with both hands. Pausini in a high guard, putting body on sale, but Gemma not buying at any price..."

Tess: "She wants to finish this thing right now, but she's running out of time..."

O'Dell: "Fifteen seconds left. Arterton with a solid left-right. Five seconds. There's the bell. Laura survives, but Gemma's round big."

Tess: "And it's 38-38 after four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth round begins with Arterton moving forward now. She's looking to close this thing out, but she gets spirited resistance from Laura, who seems to have the legs back, and we're right back in the phone booth."

Cassie: "Pausini showing some nice recuperative powers. A lot of girls wouldn't be able to provide this kind of resistance to Gemma after taking two minutes of heavy shell from her in the last round."

O'Dell: "Arterton having the better of things, to be sure, but Laura hanging with and DOWN SHE GOES! Another short right hand from Arterton and Pausini dropped to her knees."

Tess: "Looked like she was chopped down. That overhand right landed and just drove her to the canvas."

O'Dell: "Count at three. Four. Five. Six. And Laura to her feet at seven. She'll take the mandatory and the referee going to let this continue. Arterton again looking to finish. Getting that big left jab home, sending the Italian backward with it. Laura in the earmuff, giving ground and DOWN SHE GOES AGAIN!"

McCarthy: "Straight right that time. Sent her right to her back..."

O'Dell: "Three. Four. Five. Six. Laura tries to sit up and drops back to her back! Eight. Nine. TEN! IT'S OVER! And your winner by KO5 is 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Gemma Arterton, and, Gems, very physical in there tonight..."

Gemma: "No question. She can punch and she can TAKE a punch. I hit her with some BOMBS and she just kept coming. I was figuring I might have to take her to the cards until I shook her in the fourth."

Tess: "You didn't waste any time after that..."

Gemma: "No way. When you get a girl that physical hurt, you want to get her out of there. I wasn't trying to go another 15 minutes grinding with her. I wanted her stopped ASAP."

Tess: "Should I ask what's next for you?"

Gemma: "All up to the boss, Tess. All up to the boss."