Kate Beckinsale versus Jennifer Love Hewitt

Empire Boxing vs Mirage Boxing
(Words: Vassago / Results: Lookout!)

BEFORE: Jennifer Love Hewitt makes her official Mirage Boxing debut tonight, her eight year tenure with the Jeri's Knockouts was curtained by the too-close-to-call 1 pt decision loss to Summer Glau last April and many experts thought that was Hewitt's last hurrah especially when JKO ceased operations following the league commission changes in the summer. However remains too hot in demand to walk away with 109 fights under her belt and targets another A-lister in Kate Beckinsale to prove she's still got what it takes to steal the highlights away from younger combatants.

Indeed, it's a dream match up for all the brunette fans and revenge for a February 2009 clash when Hewitt dismantled Beckinsale in four rounds to set up a bantamweight title opportunity against none other than currently retired Jenny McCarthy. There's almost zero chance tonight's winner will be given another shot like that but it's all about pride, vengeance and a top billing salary that would render all the current upstarts scratching their heads twice over. Hewitt vs Beckinsale is one for the Vintage DVD Collection and nobody skips those until one of these two vixens cries out her demise.

Jennifer Love Hewitt wears a leather red bikini top, black knickers and black stockings of all things adding more red in small leather mitts. Ugh! That outfit puts the English cougar to shade but Kate Beckinsale holds her own in a black lacy bikini set and white gloves. Hewitt's long light brown hair flies around in loose curls while Beckinsale's chosen to let her dark brown hair straight and tucked behind the ears. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the bantamweight division.

Round 1:
It's rather obvious these two women loathe each other and burst into a jabbing frenzy straight away causing a roar among the packed crowd seconds from the opening bell. Hewitt tries to dig into her foe's chest and clubs heavy leather between the arms but Kate just zips past the high guard and bounces off the forehead snapping the curly hair back & forth and breaking down Jennifer's efforts down the stretch. More facial onslaught follows and leaves early lumps on Hewitt's cheeks already, the American brunette pays in full for obvious defensive flaws early and gets pummeled back to the ropes as a visibly motivated Beckinsale ups the tempo and just buries Hewitt under more leather and spikes her cheeks raw in the dying seconds to sag the Mirage Boxing newcomer deep on her knees just before the bell. Kate means business, folks!

Round 2:
Beckinsale tries to add more pressure on the bruised Hewitt's face and jumps at her moments from the bell again but this time Jennifer ducks underneath and clatters into the chest with both arms,  ripping uppercuts like crazy and just rooting the English brunette to the spot with a loud whimper. Hewitt hits the JMD button briefly to set up a proper facial barrage afterward and it works well enough to send Kate into earmuff cover with more yelps as she fails to prevent Jennifer landing more shots into her jugs down the stretch. It's Hewitt's turn to pummel her foe back to the ropes and the second rounds ends in exactly the opposite fashion to the first, Beckinsale sags on her knees all covered up as the American pounds away to a one-sided display and smiles back to the roaring crowd who are seemingly keen to just witness a great fight with a highlight KO rather than cheer for anyone in particular.

Round 3:
More chest mugging sets up Jennifer's oncoming assault as she traps Kate midring and bursts through her arms to punish the cleavage before ripping more uppercuts and just tearing the English guard down. Beckinsale fails to live with the heat despite vengeful spiking effort from close range; Hewitt's simply too fast and too accurate in her efforts and looks anything like spending the past twelve months on the sidelines as she whoops jabs into Beckinsale's face and forces her into a desperate escape but still eating leather on the fly and sagging on her knees late in the running. Hewitt's in top shape after a slow start and seems happy enough raining punches into the subdued rival's flesh, Kate soaks up all the abuse and looks a bit woozy when she gets nailed across the mouth right as the clock expires; Jennifer digs some into her rack afterward anyway and she truly wants some action tonight after such a lengthy spell on the sidelines. Beckinsale gives her a really long look and perhaps starts to realize accepting this challenge wasn't such a great idea after all.

Round 4:
Despite all the experience on both sides it's a classic war of attrition as neither hellcat even considers slowing the things down; Kate's taken quite a beating in the last two rounds but still jumps into the mix with all guns blazing and tags Jennifer's chin with a vicious cross hooking combo before adding more leather on the temples. Hewitt's rocked but refuses to run for it and leans forward trying to punish the English rack again, this time she fails in her efforts and eats more facial assault with Kate giving her a spiking treatment from point blank range and sending her back on the heels. Jennifer begins to squeal in pain but remains in hot pursuit of the older brunette's chest, slips forward after a misjudged attempt and gets hammered on the brow ridge by a vicious right hook as Beckinsale puts the hammer down and finally breaks her resilience. Hewitt stumbles back to the turnbuckle gasping for air and Kate topples her with another piercing jab on the eye to enforce a classic beatdown in the corner; Jennifer hangs on for survival and remains all covered up until the bell while Beckinsale comes up short in a desperate effort to bash that high guard to pieces, even allows the exposed ribcage to escape unharmed as the fight borders on grudge levels now with Jenny McCarthy glued to the TV screen and screaming her heart out in Hewitt support. All square after four rounds though.

Round 5:
Nobody believes these two veterans can last all ten rounds in such high tempo but they stay in the attrition races just bashing vicious leather at each other before Kate slips forward when Jennifer ignites superior footwork into the fray and counterpunches her rival's guts from close range. She thuds Beckinsale between the arms and rocks her jugs to relieve some energy supply and just as Kate swings right on right she gets beaten for pace and eats a heavy jab right on the mouth.... Ugh... Kate rolls down the windows with her arms and loses her footing for the first time tonight under her opponent's punch, drops her guard and has Jennifer ripping leather into her cheeks & nose and backing her up the ropes in no time... all facial galore from the American who seizes control and keeps thumping mitts into Kate's face and just ignores the guard which fails to regain the previous state... Hewitt hits the frenzy mode and traps the older brunette for good, tears some skin on both cheeks and threatens to bludgeon Beckinsale clean only for the time to run out just when things were stacking up against the English fighter... Ref has to pull a raging Hewitt off her prey at the bell while a glassy eyes and face swollen Kate just sags down on her knees and has a very hard time in walking back to her stool after a textbook pasting from the American foe. That HAD to hurt...

Round 6:
Kate's slow off her stool and still uneasy with the punishment she'd soaked up in the fifth; Hewitt in predatory mode instead, resumes the facial barrage to shatter Beckinsale's guard come the minute mark and quite frankly the older actress doesn't have the speed and agility in her to escape the looming disaster anyway. Jennifer just bashes her all over the ring and rips single hands against the cheeks before driving one uppercut through the rack too many and just rendering Kate numb in the middle of the ring... a battered English vixen doesn't even throw anything back now and allows Hewitt to wrench her guts in close range, a quick switch catches her on the jaw again and Jennifer romps her into a right old stupor to finally pull the plug on the dwindling resistance... DOWN GOES BECKINSALE flat on her back... the proud cougar just can't take it anymore and collapses under a heavy onslaught.... Jennifer thinks it's all over but Kate still makes a last ditch effort and scampers back on her feet at eight even though her face is a swollen mess now... Ref smiles back at Hewitt and doesn't halt the action, sends a battered Kate straight into her path again but there's no resistance left in the English woman and Hewitt rocks her with immediate facial jabbing and reels spinning back to the ropes where she gallops in with more venom and just bends the older actress in utmost disaster... poor Kate screams out and hugs her guts as Jennifer pulverizes her face into a bloody mask now... REF PREVENTS THE SLAUGHTERY AND HAULS HEWITT OFF... Beckinsale leans back against the ropes with eyes closed or rather punched shut by her American nemesis... TKO6 Jennifer Love Hewitt in grudge enough fashion!!!

AFTER: Jennifer leaps like a salmon and quickly embraces a rampant ovation from the crowd to fully announce her successful comeback. New management has truly inspired the veteran into one of her most convincing triumphs yet and send a warning all across the bantamweight division that she's far from being over around the place. Meanwhile a wrecked Kate Beckinsale needs to grab the ropes in order to stay upright and slowly drags herself back to her corner where she just crumbles on the stool and asks for immediate relief to her swollen shut eyes: "I can't see a damn thing no more!", she's fortunate enough that Hewitt seems more keen in signing autographs and twerking her otherwise impressive rack to the audience than adding further punishment to the conquered English brunette and by the time Jennifer turns her attention back to her prey she can only laugh at the slumped wreck aka what's left of Beckinsale's pride... "Huh! That's twice in a row, ######! Gonna look really bad in the morning!", she tries to approach the vanquished foe but gets wrestled back by the Empire Boxing people who crowd out the victorious American and force her back with a slight dark shade across her face: "Big deal! I've still wrecked that English ass!", she makes a throat slit gesture and spins right back to her corner to soak up more ovations... And a deserved ovation it is at the end of one of the most gruesome fights you're ever going to witness between two women who have allegedly seen it all and done it all in the ring already... The glass is never full with these cougars!

Final result: Jennifer Love Hewitt def. Kate Beckinsale TKO6.