Before: “She’s got this great rep from over the pond but I’m not impressed. She couldn’t hack it as a singer and so now she’s acting. Isn’t that what all failed singers do over there, start an acting career? I actually don’t see much of a problem here. All of the FCBA fighters seem over rated just like American music. We’ve got The Stones and The Beatles and there’s me holding down the fort for the BBU and singing and I don’t see much coming from over there ergo this will be a slam dunk.” Alesha Dixon lets it all hang out at the podium. 

“Did you just compare yourself to The Stones and The Beatles?” A perplexed and very incensed Aly Michalka gives the BBU fighter an almost confused look and then lobs her own homemade bombs back. “You know what she has to do to pay the bills? She’s a presenter. Sure she sings, probably birthday parties and halftime shows at D league rugby matches surely that can’t pay enough. I’m sorry but that just ain’t right. Did any of you ever in your lives ever see Mick Jagger rooster strut his way around a washing machine on an episode of Great Britain’s The Price Is Right so he could pay the electric bill? Miss Carol Merrill is right about one thing, this is going to be a slam dunk!” With that Aly Michalka marches off the stage even more ready for a fight. 

Alesha looking incredible in a white bikini with black and white zebra gloves and shoes her hair loose and ready. Aly in the Bazz black bikini, black gloves and shoes and her hair all loose and tangly. 

Rd 1 Aly steps out and immediately makes Alesha pay for her prefight remarks zipping two left ahnd zingers right into the Brit’s face. Dixon reels back a bit but the Bazz girl is more than able to keep up with the retreat landing more punches as she muscles Dixon up against the ropes. Dixon amazed at the shock and awe like speed on display. Punches to the body, jugs and then to her face are landing at an alarming pace. Michalka is on her game right out of the gate. It takes almost a minute for Dixon to realize that she’s in a fight against a real fighter but she begins throwing some decent counter punches Aly’s way and backs her off. They’re at mid ring now trading punches and while Michalka is the quicker fighter it becomes evident that Dixon has some serious bantam power. She’s able to make Michalka pay by just banging on her arms and shoulders along with an occasional score to the body or head as the blonde covers up. They are fighting even now with Aly using her legs to get in and then get out of Alesha’s way while Dixon is throwing some effective and powerful punches. Aly’s first minute blitzkrieg gets her the round as the bell rings. 

Rd 2 Dixon very comfortable now. There’s no way she’s going to keep up with Aly’s legs but she’s punching with authority and it’s keeping her in the game. Both girls circling at center ring Aly jabbing from a distance showing off her moves while Alesha’s looking to score with her strong right hand. Michalka bobbing and weaving in, out and around Dixon’s punches taking some damage as she tries to score. Blonde steps in with left leg planted and catches Alesha with a left jab stinging her on the chin but Dixon counters with a two punch combination that brings the home crowd to its feet. Aly backs it up giving Dixon plenty of room. Alesha looking to capitalize on her last two punches. She ducks down low and moves in on Michalka landing a strong jab to her belly and a right hand cross to the blonde’s side causing her to momentarily double over. Aly on her bicycle now trying to regain her composure. Alesha giving chase around the ring while Aly throws her punches off of her back foot during her strategic retreat. Round goes this way until in the final seconds Aly reverses her retreat and steps up with a jab and a crisp right hand. Dixon shakes it off and continues to advance as the round ends with her on top. 

Rd 3 Aly looking steamed in her corner as her people freshen her up and give her their observations. Blonde listens to Poindexter Del Crunchy for a moment and then emphatically shaking her head responds while wagging a finger at him and charges out to center ring. Dixon is definitely much more confident this round. She’s looking to stand toe to toe with Aly and blast away. Unfortunately for this strategy Michalka has kicked her ring movements into overdrive. Bazz blonde is moving around Alesha throwing jabs when she is in range and scoring points. Dixon chasing Aly around the ring trying to trap her in a corner or against the ropes but she is all but untouchable now. While Dixon’s scoring total plummets while Michalka is getting to her on a regular basis. Aly jabs at Alesha and then planting her left leg throws an overhand right that crashes down on Dixon. BRITISH SINGER IN TROUBLE! Dixon stepping in fence post holes trying to stay on her feet. Aly stepping in and out on Dixon taking her time and looking for clear openings. Crowd on its feet watching Michalka hurt Dixon at will. Dixon covering up but not using the ropes for support staying out at mid ring and trying to counter Aly’s precision assaults which only allows the Bazz Bonde more openings to pour on the hurt. Round ends with Alesha Dixon staggering back to her corner a mere shadow of her former self. 

Rd 4 Alesha’s corner bringing out all the stops to get their fighter back to reality up to using a defibrillator. Meanwhile Michalka calmly listens to Pointy give out advice on how to handle the next round. Dixon looking surprising good at the outset. Her punches still show impressive strength and she lands a couple of strong jabs and a right hook to start out the round. Aly backs off again using patience to find her opening. Both girls depending on jabs to get things done. Dixon flat footed bobbing and weaving in and out of Aly’s touches to land some impressive punches. Still Michalka continues to stay out of Dixon’s range for the most part. She’s only exposed when she comes in to land her own punches at a two to one ratio to Dixon’s. Dixon gaining her footing back as the round continues but it’s short lived. Aly moves in with two perfectly timed jabs that stun the Brit and follows up with a right hand cross and finally a left uppercut both of which can be heard connecting in the cheap seats. Down GOES DIXON! Dixon’s body falls to her left sling shotting her against the ropes which spring her back to her feet for a brief moment and with the momentum causes the now unconscious fighter to shuffle a couple of steps to her right and down onto her tummy. The ref’s count is a mere formality as Alesha is in a deep slumber. ALY MICHALKA KNOCK OUT WINNER RD 4! 

After: As has become custom ever since the Brenda Song/Cassie Scerbo selfie debacle each Bazz fighter stays out to congratulate her opponent whether a won or a loss. In this case Aly takes one side of Alesha and her corner person takes the other to carry her over to her corner. Dixon seems fine but is heard reciting lines from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night as she reclines on her stool accepting copious whiffs of smelling salts. Meanwhile Aly accepts reporters back in her corner. “She’s no one to take lightly. Alesha’s got too much power for that. There were a couple of punches that if she caught me I would have been gone. Still she has to work on her agility if she’s going to step up to this level, it’s pretty clear.” Asked what Pointy had said to her after round 2 and what she had been so demonstrative about in reponse Aly says. “He saw that my concentration was waning a bit so he got me back in the ball game. And I just told him that I had his back. ‘Speed Lassie! Ya know that ya have the speed so blooooooodiiiiieeee use it!’” Aly Michalka’s impersonation of her boss seemed dead on.